Mismatched couples

[SouthBond]

Hey, stop talking about ugly husbands. Why do you think that we pimp out our good looking wives. I just wave her pretty tits and ass in front of some horny guy and he gladly trades his high school sweatheart for a taste of her. Those older women know all the tricks, you know. How crude Mr. Bond. Spank, spank.

[Tybee Swing]

Originally Posted by HappyPeople

Oh, I'm sure the wives have probably suggested these things before. Everyone is free to be themselves of course; however, I figured the fellas would be happy to increase thier fuckability factor.

LOL! love that new term: fuckability factor.

Many women work overtime on their own fuckability factor. We've known for eons that the way to a man's heart is through our appearance (generally speaking). We wiggle into uncomfortable things like fishnet stockings, high heels, and other things that men just love to see us in, mainly just because they think it's hot on us. Most men love long hair styled nicely, and longer hair is more work, too. Overall, the things men find most attractive on women take more work to keep up with. We work at it, knowing men use the 1 - 10 system to rank us for hotness, and we're trying to stay up there on their scale.

A lot of men are very savvy about this for themselves, and what's good for the goose is good for the gander. They know that a lot of women are attracted to and appreciate a man who works off that beer belly and takes some time to get himself well-groomed and sylishly dressed. Single men know this, and maybe some longtime married men just sort of forgot it over the years. Their wife will love them, beer belly, scruffy clothes and all, but your friend's wife doesn't have to love it.

Marriage is marriage (love & forever), but swinging is SEX. People want to have sex with people they're attracted to. Men don't have a corner the market on that whole "visual appeal" thing...why do men think women aren't "visual"? Women see what they like and in swinging (for sex), we go for what looks good to us. facelick

[Tybee Swing]

Originally Posted by SouthBond

Hey, stop talking about ugly husbands. Why do you think that we pimp out our good looking wives. I just wave her pretty tits and ass in front of some horny guy and he gladly trades his high school sweatheart for a taste of her. Those older women know all the tricks, you know. How crude Mr. Bond. Spank, spank.

LOL! Yeah, until the high school sweetheart he wishes would go for it says, "Um, NO - if you want to swing, bring me something just as tasty in a man, Babe!" And so we have a draw.

[SouthBond]

The more I drink the better she looks. Does that also apply for women about the men?

[Tybee Swing]

Originally Posted by SouthBond

The more I drink the better she looks. Does that also apply for women about the men?

LOL! It doesn't work on me, because I drink very little and I stay sober. Maybe that's my trouble? j/k!

[tribbles]

Marriage is marriage (love & forever), but swinging is SEX. People want to have sex with people they're attracted to.

You appear to be thinking attraction = physical looks for everyone.

Not for many of us. Attraction is an elusive quality that has nothing to do with looks for many.

I suspect this is a subject that is like age.
If you are comfy going much older/younger...go for it. If you aren't, don't.
Here, if you want looks, look for them and be patient looking. If not, then go for what attracts you.

S

[ShellyM]

Originally Posted by tribbles

Sure it is. Personal choices, YAY!



Could it be taken that they were too stupid to listen to their wives but these posts will sink in? You really wanna fuck guys that stupid who look good?



Oh, and so you know....we Do Nothing to increase our fuckability factor. The idea is a turn off for us. Take us as we are, or pass us bi (yes, we know, most of you would pass....it's ok cuz we still do just fine being ourselves). Who we are has worked for almost 27 yrs of married bliss. And I mean the bliss part.

S

S,
I didn't mean to offend you, I was just answering your post honestly. Of course, you are absolutely free to be who you are, and I'm sure you have tons of fun. And rightly so! But I'll be honest and say that I'm in this to fulfill fantasies, and yes, I am looking for a certain type of man. I'm not saying I want a jock with no brains, although if I am in the mood I would definately find one. All I am saying is this. When I meet a play partner I know that he is fulfilling sexual fantasies just like I am. And I think he would want me to do all I can to be sexually confident and to really rock his world. And, I expect the same from him. Thats all I am saying, I'm really not trying to say that you are a slob or anything like that at all.

[ShellyM]

Originally Posted by SouthBond

The more I drink the better she looks. Does that also apply for women about the men?

Yes, they are called beer goggles love

[Tybee Swing]

Originally Posted by tribbles

You appear to be thinking attraction = physical looks for everyone.

Not for many of us. Attraction is an elusive quality that has nothing to do with looks for many.

For me (and many others I'm sure) physical attraction is one aspect, among others. Personality and some elusive qualities are part of it for me, too.
Not only in swinging, but in life in general, physical appearance and personal grooming say a lot about us to others - people naturally make quick decisions about us based on appearance whether we're interviewing for a job or dating people for sex. It's just a fact of life.

[tribbles]

Originally Posted by ShellyM

S,
I didn't mean to offend you, I was just answering your post honestly. Of course, you are absolutely free to be who you are, and I'm sure you have tons of fun. And rightly so! But I'll be honest and say that I'm in this to fulfill fantasies, and yes, I am looking for a certain type of man. I'm not saying I want a jock with no brains, although if I am in the mood I would definately find one. All I am saying is this. When I meet a play partner I know that he is fulfilling sexual fantasies just like I am. And I think he would want me to do all I can to be sexually confident and to really rock his world. And, I expect the same from him. Thats all I am saying, I'm really not trying to say that you are a slob or anything like that at all.

ShellyM,

I'm not offended and have no idea where you read that into my post.

You are doing swinging 'your' way and we are doing it 'our' way.

They are two very different ways.

So what? That's why I said "Personal choices, YAY"!

Oh and BTW...We ARE slobs
Heck, it's in our profile.

(We do shower).



S

[tribbles]

Originally Posted by Tybee Swing

For me (and many others I'm sure) physical attraction is one aspect, among others. Personality and some elusive qualities are part of it for me, too.
Not only in swinging, but in life in general, physical appearance and personal grooming say a lot about us to others - people naturally make quick decisions about us based on appearance whether we're interviewing for a job or dating people for sex. It's just a fact of life.

Tybee,

Have you gone to the mall and noticed that many people really don't get that excited over appearances? It's a chore to dress up for a job interview for MANY...I've met some who simply don't....they wear something like they would wear on the job, be that jeans or scrubs instead of a suit for the interview.

If personal appearance were that big a fact of life, wouldn't almost everyone work their butts off on it? All the time unless work was sweaty and dirty...but after work showers and cleaning up would be number 1. Not hitting the bar or grocery store or mall with sweat and dirt still clinging....

Most people seem to aim for clean enough...soap, shower and ready to go.
And this 'norm', especially for the males, is what you gals are complaining about? Am I getting that right?

And gyms would be even bigger than they are...instead of the obesity percentage climbing higher and higher each year. Fast food would be a thing of the past....no one would dare to eat that poorly cuz it would affect their appearance. Do you see less fast food or more?

While there are judgements made about appearances, most of us learn there are many things beyond it and let it slide from the GQ standards out there.

If any guy is unaware of how he looks and wants to increase his fuckability factor by going more GQ, that's ok. But so is anyone who makes the choice not to.

Again, personal choices...YAY!

Maybe what the real question to answer is: Why doesn't everyone want to be GQ/Cosmo material if they are a swinger?

[ShellyM]

I don't know, all I can give ya'll is my personal opinion.
And my personal opinion is if a man were to show up to play with me on a play date (not for lunch or anything like that) in a holy tee shirt and jeans, looking like he just rolled out of bed, I would be ticked off. Call me whatever, but I'm not going to be PC and lie, I'll tell you the truth. I would really be offended that he did not feel I was worth taking the time to clean himself up and be presentable. Like I said before, you are free to do whatever you are comfortable with, there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. But as for me, I do think that I owe it to him to show up looking decent, and I feel he owes the same to me.

[Cpl2share]

Just my two cents worth, but: Don't judge a book by the cover. I agree with the cleaning up and all. I would never expect a woman to give me a second glance if I didn't take the time to clean up, but let's go easy on manner of dress. I literally know just about everyone within a 50 mile radius. On a rare occasion (Read this as funeral) I dress in slacks. I have been at a funeral and someone that has known us for years has quietly asked another person who is with my wife. I am not about to change my style of dress to impress anyone. Does this make me any less attractive? To some women yes, to anyone who knows me, it is part of who I am, and to do anything different would be a lie.

[oddcouple2841]

This is K (the male)

I will agree that appearances are important, you'll never get a second chance to make a good first impression. I am a technician but since I work mostly in professional offices I have to dress like a professional to an extent. The company I work for even has a video you have to watch about how to dress and act while on the job and has a pretty strict dress code. I am also suprised at how many people dress unappropriately for an interview. They seem to either overdress (suit and tie) for a blue collar job or underdress in jeans and tennis shoes. An interviewer is likely to see you as someone who either does not really want the job or who really does not know what the job is.

Now back to the original topic of this thread. S and I are pretty mismatched. For starters she is 28 and I am 41. I know that I am an "anchor" for her and she could get many more meetings or attract more potential partners without me. I simply do not have the body type that attracts women in droves. I have lived with this all of my life and they really have to take the time for then to get to know me before I even have a chance. I believe we all judge potential partners on an "instictive" level and no matter what our brains are telling us, "instinct" rules. I used to be confused by this because women will tell you exactly what they are looking for in a man and then pick the exact opposite for a mate. I believe this is why so many women end up with cheating or abusive partners even though on some level they knew how it would turn out from the beginning.

Now I am not getting down on the ladies. Men are the same but in a different way. Men are sexually driven creatures, we often time think with our penis instead of our brain. We go out looking for the girls that are "hot" and pass by the ones who would actually be willing and able to make us happy. We judge with our weeners and eyes instead of our hearts and minds. I will never forget that back in my twenties a guy I worked with told me to forget the "hot" girls, they were just for looking at and the "fat" girls were the one's that are actually fun. My empireical data suggests he was correct. I did not listen and married a girl I considered "hot" and ended up miserable and divorced. Since then I have been with several "fat" girls and they were a lot more fun.

There is no real good answer for this question. We met a very nice couple that are very very nice and we really like. The only problem is that the physical attraction is just not really there for me. Now what do you do?

[ShellyM]

Originally Posted by Cpl2share

Just my two cents worth, but: Don't judge a book by the cover. I agree with the cleaning up and all. I would never expect a woman to give me a second glance if I didn't take the time to clean up, but let's go easy on manner of dress. I literally know just about everyone within a 50 mile radius. On a rare occasion (Read this as funeral) I dress in slacks. I have been at a funeral and someone that has known us for years has quietly asked another person who is with my wife. I am not about to change my style of dress to impress anyone. Does this make me any less attractive? To some women yes, to anyone who knows me, it is part of who I am, and to do anything different would be a lie.

Now, don't get me wrong on jeans now. When we go to a country and western club Jay will wear a button down shirt and jeans....like Jacob Sky's avatar lol. Can't get him into the cowboy hat though. Anyways, oh yes a nicely pressed pair of jeans that fit correctly look awesome! And I don't want to harp too much on it. I'm just saying look like you care about how you look. Thats all. I'm not saying go out and buy new clothes, just take the time to at least put an iron to your pants lol.