Body Image Issues - worried about being naked in front of other women

[Chicup]

Originally Posted by oddcouple2841

I don't understand what I said Chicup. Did I offend you in anyway? If I did, I'm sorry and that wasn't my intent.

I went back into the post and looked and didn't see anywhere where I said that word. Am I missing the point of what you were trying to say?

Mrs. Oddcouple

You haven't been around long enough to see this type of thread in all in various incarnations, but just for fun so you see where some may take issue I'll change your post and think how it would be recieved with that change...

When I got with my male half, he only dated one "skinny" girl before me and he will admit that he had a better relationship with her than his "fat" ex-wife. Of course my tits are smaller than what he likes, but he loves me for me, not because of what size I wear.

[oddcouple2841]

Ok I'm sorry.

Mrs. Oddcouple

[ShellyM]

Originally Posted by LFM2

I don't think I'm a small person. I've lost a lot of weight, but like Shelly, it's still not enough. I'll never loose that little pooch I acquired during pregnancy. I've faced that fact. I'll never have the body I had in high school and that's OK -- I'm not in high school. We just go out and have fun whenever the mood strikes. People are less judgemental than we think. We are always our worst critic.

Yes, that is so the truth. I can tell you in honesty that I can look at pics of women my size, and even much larger, and say "you know what? Thats one beautiful ass woman." They are confident and gorgeous. But I will look at my picture, and despite myself will literally analyze every inch. I've gotten better, but it is a continuous work in progress. I can find something wrong with every inch of my body lol, hell I even think my nose is crooked. But I am learning to accept myself. As I get into shape I am becoming more confident. Poor Jay, sometimes I feel sorry for him lol, putting up with me.
But yes, I think all women are beautiful, absolutely.

This is why its SO IMPORTANT that we raise our girls up to love themselves, no matter their shape. I was never raised that way, it was the classic "you have SUCH a pretty face" lol. I tell Jay that I really don't know how to accept myself, because I was never taught this as a girl. To this day my Mom will look at me and tell me if I drank more water I'd lose weight......SHIT, I've dropped 6 dress sizes Mama, what do you want?! LOL

That shows you though ladies. Please yourself and live healthy, and let everyone else get over themselves.

[ShellyM]

Originally Posted by crazycatz

I'm just terrified that my old insecurities will come out when I see my partner have sex with a thin, gorgeous woman (despite the fact that he told me that he doesn't want us to play with people just because we they might have nice bodies...for him (and myself) the intellectual connection/personalities are much more important...just like many of you have said.

So I think that soft swap is the way to go first and see how I feel. If the green eyed monster comes over me I don't ever have to do it again and I can treat it as a learning experience and if not, all the better!

Thanks again!

Well girl, you are smart for wanting to take things slowly. Remember that the other woman is PROBABLY feeling at least a little bit of the same insecurities you are. Seriously. We were playing with a couple (not the infamous one lol), and she later told Jay that she was feeling self conscious....funny, because I was feeling the same way. And if you are feeling jealous thats pretty normal....just try and not lose control and freak out in the middle of play. I don't know how others handle this, so I'm not the best advice giver in this regards.

Do ya'll think maybe she should say something beforehand? But then, you don't want them to feel uncomfortable either. Asking questions here is a good thing. I for one will give you a straight answer, even though it sometimes gets me blocked .

[PaJoKo]

I had to put in my 2 cents in here. I'm also a little on the "fluffy" side. My husband wants us to swing and this is the thing that I'm worried about. But I'm worried the other guy may not want me because of my size. I'm bi-curious, and I think curvy women are very beautiful, in a rubenesque kinda way. But it's good to read that so many men and women aren't looking just at your size, but what you can bring to the experience.....

[ohash01]

Like everyone, I've fought with this. Winter is coming again and I'm going into psycho-Ashleigh mode going "no winter padding...no winter padding." because that's my cycle. I'm like a bear...I gain weight to hibernate for the winter...then when I come out of my cave in the spring, I lose it again.

Sometimes, I think the key to it is making a concentrated effort on seeing what you LOVE about yourself - the rest will follow. With me, it started with me going, okay - I have wonderful skin and a great smile. The pudge I saw when I looked in the mirror started to disappear because I had one GREAT thing I KNEW for fact that I could hang onto.

You'll always have people that are going to be rude, and you'll have people that just plain aren't interested. Don't automatically assume it has something to do with your weight. If they said it straight up like that, they're jerks anyway. Most polite people say "I'm sorry - you're just not what we're looking for right now." If they are polite, assume they don't like blondes, or they don't like soft-swingers, or they don't like people who eat sushi. Just DON'T automatically assume it has to do with your size...it'll only make you feel worse.

[crazycatz]

Thanks everyone and in particular ShellyM. Your post about jealousy made me feel a lot better. I guess I was thinking that if I felt jealousy that this would be the death knell of our exploration in the scene...and that jealousy meant I was narrowminded. Now I am expecting it and coming up with strategies for when it does happen (with the first MFF experience). On a positive note, I am meeting a bifemale for coffee tomorrow to discuss a possible MFF!

[Tybee Swing]

Originally Posted by crazycatz

On a positive note, I am meeting a bifemale for coffee tomorrow to discuss a possible MFF!

Have fun, and keep us posted!