Swinging & Hygiene/Presentation

[Cloud of Love]

This is a very thought-provoking thread. It is VERY easy to slip into laziness about your personal appearance. At least it has been for me...I got into some bad habits over the last few years. However I've been trying to change that lately....eating better, dropping some weight, taking up yoga, doing a better job with personal grooming, etc., trying to keep myself more attractive for my wife. She's been doing the same thing, too, part of our process of keeping our passion alive.

[sbjr3]

Originally Posted by TNT

My momma always taught me that when you leave the house you should look the best you can....you never know who you might meet.

I never leave the house without having make-up on and very, very few people have ever seen me without make-up.

Dito

Even when I go to the stables early in the morning to muck out the stalls, I am always nicely groomed, have on makeup, and have my hair tied up nicely. Four hours later I look (and smell) like I live in the sewers . Once back in the house, I never let Jr near me (or see me if at all possible) until I have taken another shower and made myself beautiful again (which takes another four hours ).

sb

[2inVT]

We've both always had jobs where we had to look presentable. Less so now for Mr2, who has a fairly messy job - he showers as soon as he gets home from work, and puts on clean clothes - fancier if we're going out to dance or dinner or to visit friends. If we're just staying home, he's apt to put on sleeping pants and a t-shirt. I don't believe he would be able to go to bed without being clean, it's just not his nature.

At home, if I'm not wearing work clothes, I'm in a nightgown. (Slinky nightgown. Not grandma's flannels.) I do have a few very casual - but clean and neat - clothes to wear on at-home weekends. If we're going out to swing or just socialize, I'm apt to wear a skirt or dress - slutwear if that's appropriate, something casually sexy if slutwear's a bit much. I do this whether it's just me and Mr2, or a crowd of people. Make-up goes on after I shower in the morning.

We've met a number of swingers who don't seem to make the effort. I'm not sure why that is, really. Vermont is a fairly casual place, but it's not that hard to be neat and clean.

LOL, even in the days when I worked part-time and had 3 children younger than 5 years old, if I was going to leave the house I made sure I looked good. It was a bit less likely then that I'd look fabulous at home all the time, with the baby spitting up on me, and the toddlers putting sticky - but loving - fingers on me. Or, worse case scenario, wiping their noses on my shirt (something I spent a lot of time discouraging).

So yeah, we spiff up for meeting swingers - but we spiff up when it's just the two of us.

[Spoomonkey]

Originally Posted by JustAskJulie

One of the things that has peeved me in past relationships is when a guy gets so comfortable that he will crawl into bed stinky or sweaty. Hello! I don't want to sleep next to you smelling your BO! Or when a guy is so comfortable that he will go out in public with you in a ripped up dirty shirt and sweat pants .

Well - you didn't ask about relationships getting so cozy that one or both partners lose any sense of class

That is totally different.

I actually brush AND floss my teeth before going to bed and having sex with my wife.

I go to bed clean (I shower at least twice a day because I am sort of obsessed with it) and I always look my best when I am going to be seen (even grocery shopping) with Mrs Spoo. My "casual clothes" are thought out enough that they match...

That part of my personality (caring about the man my wife is seen with and has to snuggle with at night) has nothing to do with swinging

Spoomonkey

[ShellyM]

Originally Posted by Spoomonkey

Well - you didn't ask about relationships getting so cozy that one or both partners lose any sense of class

That is totally different.

I actually brush AND floss my teeth before going to bed and having sex with my wife.

I go to bed clean (I shower at least twice a day because I am sort of obsessed with it) and I always look my best when I am going to be seen (even grocery shopping) with Mrs Spoo. My "casual clothes" are thought out enough that they match...

That part of my personality (caring about the man my wife is seen with and has to snuggle with at night) has nothing to do with swinging

Spoomonkey

So, is Mr. Spoo telling me that he is a Metrosexual???
You go boy!

LOL, I'm just teasing you

[Spoomonkey]

Originally Posted by ShellyM

So, is Mr. Spoo telling me that he is a Metrosexual???

Is flossing a sign of metrosexuality???

Send me my card, I guess

Spoomonkey

[ShellyM]

Originally Posted by Spoomonkey

Is flossing a sign of metrosexuality???

Send me my card, I guess

Spoomonkey

No, the whole dressing color coordinated is lol.
jk

[Spoomonkey]

Originally Posted by ShellyM

No, the whole dressing color coordinated is lol.
jk

I actually have my gay friend pick my clothes for me. This would make a great joke - except that it is true. In fact, we are actually going to work for the store where we buy our clothes. They are opening a shop in a swing club and we'll be working there...

Instead of pay - they are giving us clothes...

Which is fine, since I told them we'd probably just spend our money on clothes anyway...

So I am a heterosexual, turned metrosexual by a homosexual...



Spoomonkey

[ShellyM]

Originally Posted by Spoomonkey

I actually have my gay friend pick my clothes for me. This would make a great joke - except that it is true. In fact, we are actually going to work for the store where we buy our clothes. They are opening a shop in a swing club and we'll be working there...

Instead of pay - they are giving us clothes...

Which is fine, since I told them we'd probably just spend our money on clothes anyway...

So I am a heterosexual, turned metrosexual by a homosexual...



Spoomonkey

LOL, you go with your BAD SELF!
Actually, my best friend is a gay man....well, bi I guess. But I think he is gay, yes lol. I love him to death! And yes, he dresses very well too.

Hey, what happened to your avatar playing with his monkey willy?

[EvilMJ]

It is true that we try to dress up more for swinging. I guess because is like dating all over again and first appereances are going to be a deciding factor in whether or not anything goes anywhere. If you show up looking and smelling bad, you are going to have a short lived swinging experiance.

For me it is partially laziness but mostly it is the fact that I am pulled in so many directions that sometimes dressing up is the last thing on my mind. I work in a landscape/construction office and as stock manager I can get pretty dirty, so skirts and nice suits don't make much sense in the office. I usually at least wear eyeliner every day if nothing else (and steel toed shoes. )

When I get home I just want to be comfortable. So I have a pair of green jammies I like to laze about in. I can only be sexy when I feel sexy and after 9 hours of work on a thursday night I feel like mashed potatoes. The great thing is that hubby understands where I am coming from, I have a whole drawer of sexy stuff that I wear just for him, not for swinging. When we go out I try to look nice. But it is nice that we have come to a point in our lives where we are comfortable with each other.

There is something to be said for just cuddling together on the couch in your comfy pj's watching tv. Intimacy is not just sex and it is something that I look forward to and share with only him.

[ShellyM]

Originally Posted by EvilMJ

There is something to be said for just cuddling together on the couch in your comfy pj's watching tv. Intimacy is not just sex and it is something that I look forward to and share with only him.

You are absolutely right!

[JustAskJulie]

Originally Posted by ShellyM

No, the whole dressing color coordinated is lol.
jk

Yes, his kilt aways matches his shirt.

[Spoomonkey]

Originally Posted by JustAskJulie

Yes, his kilt aways matches his shirt.

This is true

Spoomonkey

PS - We were at the club this weekend and were talking with a couple we first met the last time I wore my kilt to the club. The wife was with a group of friends and asked her group, "is it just me or is that guy's kilt really a turn on?" Apparently the concensus was, "it's just you." She liked it - though - and she was the hottest girl in her group Like I told her, anyone who doesn't like me in my kilt probably won't like me period.

[JustAskJulie]

Originally Posted by Spoomonkey

This is true

Spoomonkey

PS - We were at the club this weekend and were talking with a couple we first met the last time I wore my kilt to the club. The wife was with a group of friends and asked her group, "is it just me or is that guy's kilt really a turn on?" Apparently the concensus was, "it's just you." She liked it - though - and she was the hottest girl in her group Like I told her, anyone who doesn't like me in my kilt probably won't like me period.

That's surprising. Did the other ladies in the group NOT see you in your kilt? If I recall it seemed like when you wore your kilt it just begged women to want to see what was underneath.

[Spoomonkey]

Originally Posted by JustAskJulie

That's surprising. Did the other ladies in the group NOT see you in your kilt? If I recall it seemed like when you wore your kilt it just begged women to want to see what was underneath.

It is funny actually...

It works without fail everywhere but at our home club. I am not sure why, but for some reason it puts people off...

Now - where it to a vanilla bar and I don't even have to buy my own drinks!

Go figure.

When I first wore it, this one lady actually walked up to me and told me she didn't like it - until another woman was all over me. From that point on she talks to me about it all the time - "when are you wearing your kilt???"

My guess is - people at swing clubs are just completely over-stressed about not looking odd. I say - be yourself and let the chips fall where they may.

Spoomonkey

PS - I'd wear my kilt anytime YOU ask me to