HOT BODS / YOUNG /NO DISEASES ? Is it a dream?

[Pepper & Drew]

My question is: where are you looking? If you're going to vanilla clubs and thinking that you will magically meet all these cool swingers...you're mistaken. Hell, oftentimes you can go to swinger events and not meet cool swingers.

When you were dating, was it really easy to find people that you really connected with? Well, divide that experience by 10. Now, you have 2 people that have to find 2 other people that you're attracted to, and besides that, the swinging world is a very small one. There's only so many couples out there. Swingin' ain't easy. Fun. Exciting. Not easy.

Perhaps you should go to a few local events and get to know people. Over time, you'll get to know people, they may introduce you to other people, and....it's after-hours networking. We've met so many wonderful people--and yes, the hot bodied, young ones are out there. Hell, the hot bodied, not so young ones are out there. And the not so hot bodied.....well, you get my point. There's all sorts of couples out there, but you're not going to meet them all tomorrow.

We have some friends that we met at Hedo II that have had a hard time meeting couples that they like as much as couples they met at Hedo. I think that if you're trying to re-create Hedo at home, you will be disappointed. Hedo world is not real world, unfortunately.

I hope that was constructive....

Pepper

[TNT]

Originally Posted by P and R

We just got back from Hedo III and were very impressed. We must say that the reason for the impressive trip was because of the fact that Bliss Club Miami had an event there.

This is probably the reason that there were so many hot people walking around everywhere. When clubs hold events, it's only natural that they will want the "hottest" people representing them...it makes them look good. However, it's not always the best way of seeing a good representation of the many, many different types of people who do swing.

As we "crawl" into the lifestyle inch by inch, we seem to find a lot of people who have no respect for their bodies, minds, or souls.

In "your" opinion, which is based on the standards you hold yourself to...which is not necessarily how other's standards for what they consider having respect for their bodies, minds and souls is.

We continuously turn up disappointed by people that we are meeting.

Do ya'll ask for a photo before you schedule a meeting?

Are you disappointed in looks or disappointed in their overall personality? Either way, by chatting with a person some before meeting you might discover you just aren't compatible; and, if photos have been exchanged you also have a chance to see if there might or might not be a connection physically. Both would help with cutting down on the meetings that you find yourself disappointed with someone.

Neither of us are shallow people, we just simply want to meet some REAL and EXCITING younger people who are open minded like we are!

They are out there, you just have to put the work into finding them. I would suggest using ad sites both looking and placing your own ad stating exactly what you're looking for, and/or finding a club that caters more to the younger crowd.


Teresa

[reed&diana]

Get in your car and drive to the local mall. While walking around the mall, pay attention to the faces and bodies of the people you see there. That is the kind of people that populate the swinger community. Oh yea, come back in 20 - 25 years and let us see what your body looks like then. Age does wonders to a fit body.

[WesternSwing]

You know... In my original post I missed the whole gist... I definitely wasn't thinking about what I was reading in the OP's post... In fact... I completely mis-read it. Too much beer, too fast after coming home from work.

We just got back from Hedo III and were very impressed. We must say that the reason for the impressive trip was because of the fact that Bliss Club Miami had an event there. We are from the Palm Beach County area were happy to see that the club was holding a take over during the same week that we went. Hot people walking around everywhere!
We are a young couple (she 28 and he 36) who are very attractive, clean, good natured, and friendly. We like to work out and exercise in various ways and keep very sexy bods.
As we "crawl" into the lifestyle inch by inch, we seem to find a lot of people who have no respect for their bodies, minds, or souls.
We continuously turn up disappointed by people that we are meeting. We just got back from Hedo III and were very impressed. We must say that the reason for the impressive trip was because of the fact that Bliss Club Miami had an event there. We are from the Palm Beach County area were happy to see that the club was holding a take over during the same week that we went. Hot people walking around everywhere!
We are a young couple (she 28 and he 36) who are very attractive, clean, good natured, and friendly. We like to work out and exercise in various ways and keep very sexy bods.
As we "crawl" into the lifestyle inch by inch, we seem to find a lot of people who have no respect for their bodies, minds, or souls.
We continuously turn up disappointed by people that we are meeting.

Okay, so here's my second take on it:

WTF did you expect? A bunch of pornstars and 20-something hard bodies? You've been watching too many swingers porn videos. Are you insinuating that those "older, unfit" people have diseases? I don't think we got the meaning of what you really meant to say here.

As Pepper said... Hedo is fantasy, not reality. In fact, I wouldn't be surprised if allot of those hotbodies weren't on the Hedo payroll to make the club look good. I'm sorry, but like I've said before, the Lifestyle is nothing you think it is and everything you could never dream of.

Okay... enough beating you up. I do feel however that you need to broaden your prospective on life. Someday, you too will be "below average" to someone 10 years younger then you.

Mr. WS

P.S. What you consider a "sexy bod" might not be a sexy bod to everyone else.

[naughtyblonde]

Wow, I really can't believe all these attitudes. I'm shocked at all of your negative reactions & no longer want to be a part of this site. I'll be deleting myself at the end of this message.

I think all of you are a little too defensive about your own bodies & your taking it all out on the original poster. If you want to blame someone, blame the media, but don't blame someone for what their personal preferences are. My husband & I are also toned, early 30's, & disease free... does it make me a bad person because I want the same thing in return? Around here it does.

Whatever. See ya.

[ShellyM]

lol, this guy took a hit on this post!
There are people out here who are "very sexy"......HWP. Jay and I just had a conversation about this very subject not 2 days ago regarding HWP. Now, just what IS hwp? Because it varies. I know what society says is HWP. But my hwp is very different from most people's in every way. For instance, men I am attracted to most people would call chubby. I don't like skinny men, I'm just not attracted to them. Now, I'm not talking men who are 500 pounds and can't walk for goodness sakes lol. But I look for a man who weighs around 200-250 pounds. A well built, stocky man lol. Society says that only if he is 200 pounds of pure muscle is he hwp. I am not by any means hwp according to society, but I think after 34 years, 3 children and gravity I'm doing alright lol. I hate that term, HWP. It annoys me every time I read it, and I'm always inclined to email and ask them what their definition of hwp is...of course, usually those men are too skinny for my taste and I don't look anyways lol.

But to answer your question, there are physically beautiful people out there. But if thats all you are looking for you are passing up some wonderful folks.

[ShellyM]

Originally Posted by reed&diana

Get in your car and drive to the local mall. While walking around the mall, pay attention to the faces and bodies of the people you see there. That is the kind of people that populate the swinger community. Oh yea, come back in 20 - 25 years and let us see what your body looks like then. Age does wonders to a fit body.

Who are you telling??? lol
You know though. I was looking at a picture of me that was taken when I was 18. Talk about thin as a rail lol. Pre-babies. I looked at that pic and then looked at a picture taken of me on Monday. I have to say that I look better now than I did then. My body is heavier, but curvy. My face has lines, but because I love to laugh. I think it is the imperfections in our bodies that make us so unique and wonderful.

[EvilMJ]

P&R - Perhaps I was a bit too aggressive in my comments, I apologize if I sounded like I was jumping down your throat.

The problem I found with your post is not your desire to find young people who are in the same physcial conditon as you. Like I said I fully respect other peoples desires to find a certain type of person. I don't take offense when I see people post that they do not want BBW or they only want people who are HWP..no problem and I wish these people the best of luck in their search. We are entiled to our own happiness.

When I did take offense, and this may not have been your intent, was the tone of your post which suggested that people who are not as physcially fit as you, are somehow beneath you. To say that someone who is not taking care of their body in the same way you do does not mean they don't have respect for their mind, body, or soul. Just be happy you have never found yourself facing the situation of having a weight problem. It not an easy thing to deal with, and anyone who thinks it is a simple thing to do has obvoiusly never had to deal with it.

I apologize if I made it sound like the swingers we play with are awesome, perfect people. They aren't. What they are is normal people, with normal flaws.

I think your best bet is to find clubs, restorts, events that cater to a younger crowd. You may find what you are looking for there. I don't deal a lot with online stuff as I don't really have the time to put into it and prefer a face to face meeting.

[WesternSwing]

No, that is what we all want, naughtyblonde. The original poster's comment paraphrased is "everyone we've met in the Lifestyle outside of Hedo is fat, diseased, souless, and dumb". You are right, we all want someone we are attracted to physically and mentally, and of course without a disease. BUT, P and R's attitude was "what is wrong, are all swingers are fat, souless, and dumb?" That is what they are getting flamed for here. It is insulting. I am 41, pretty dang fit, I'm told handsome, educated, spiritual, and yes... wait... here it comes... disease free.

Read my original post. I skimmed over their post too quickly and didn't catch key words. I was nice in my original post. You can't tell someone their fat, dumb, and diseased though and not expect them to defend themselves.

This board is not about attacking other people. It's about discussing a lifestyle that is greatly understood by those outside looking in. When someone comes onto the Board with nary even half a dozen posts and says stuff like that of course people get defensive and they're going to get flamed. Lets look at one of their other posts:

interested in meeting "REAL" people who are between 24 and 40 years of age....

This was prefaced by how sexy P and R are. That's fine. We all want to believe we are sexy. But to say you are, then get frustrated because nobody lives up to you and make a comment along the lines of "is it too much to ask..." is just offensive to some.

Mr. WS

[2jersey]

OP posted twice in this thread, and in their second post they clarified their "issues" and went on record as agreeing with EvilMJ's post.

OP wrote, in addressing EvilMJ:

I agree with you, did in my post, and still do.

I would think this would diffuse any criticism directed towards them. Alas, it has not...

[lovinher]

If I misinterpreted your post I apologize. Surrender But I have to say it came across the way most of us took it.

[EvilMJ]

Originally Posted by 2jersey

OP posted twice in this thread, and in their second post they clarified their "issues" and went on record as agreeing with EvilMJ's post.

OP wrote, in addressing EvilMJ:


I would think this would diffuse any criticism directed towards them. Alas, it has not...

2Jersey,

I just have a different take on things I guess. I am not trying to bash these people. I guess the tone of the post and the comments made put everyone's hair up a bit. It happens.

It's hard to communicate your intent sometimes when you are typing, the tone or implications may come across differently to the reader.
It did come off sounding rather judgemental of people who are not young and fit ...etc. Most likely that was not the intent. If they had just said that they were having a hard time finding people who their ideal, or who were young and in shape, then I bet the comments would have been a whole lot less critical.

[2jersey]

Originally Posted by EvilMJ

If they had just said that they were having a hard time finding people who their ideal, or who were young and in shape, then I bet the comments would have been a whole lot less critical.

Yes, I agree.

[nice_cpl_n_bama]

Originally Posted by ShellyM

lol, this guy took a hit on this post!
There are people out here who are "very sexy"......HWP. Jay and I just had a conversation about this very subject not 2 days ago regarding HWP. Now, just what IS hwp? Because it varies. I know what society says is HWP. But my hwp is very different from most people's in every way. For instance, men I am attracted to most people would call chubby. I don't like skinny men, I'm just not attracted to them. Now, I'm not talking men who are 500 pounds and can't walk for goodness sakes lol. But I look for a man who weighs around 200-250 pounds. A well built, stocky man lol. Society says that only if he is 200 pounds of pure muscle is he hwp. I am not by any means hwp according to society, but I think after 34 years, 3 children and gravity I'm doing alright lol. I hate that term, HWP. It annoys me every time I read it, and I'm always inclined to email and ask them what their definition of hwp is...of course, usually those men are too skinny for my taste and I don't look anyways lol.
But to answer your question, there are physically beautiful people out there. But if thats all you are looking for you are passing up some wonderful folks.

You are right Shelly, I came out of the army at 197 lbs. I was totally ripped. Laurie hated it. she said I was too skinny. The height weight charts say I should weigh 180. I think I look and feel my best at around 220. If you go by the official height weight charts I haven't been height weight proportional since the 9th grade!
There are genetic elements to body shape too. I used to work with a guy with the broad shoulders and narrow hips. He looked like a body builder. He was weak as a kitten. He looked good, but there wasn't much real muscle there. On the other hand you can look at all the men in my family on my Dads side and we all have the same body shape. barrel chested, tall, muscular, but with a bit of a belly. I'm not a cow BTW, pic attached as proof.
Play with whoever you want, but understand there's more to a persons appearance then "respect for their bodies"
Just my opinion, and we all know what they say about opinions!
Jeff
Well, I was going to attach a pic, but it's too big and I don't know how to make it smaller

[poster_guy03]

Originally Posted by P and R

Beyond that I was exercising my ABILITY to ask and seek out questions on this website.... is that not what it is for? Or are we to be JUDGED each time we post a comment?

Welcome aboard..... (pun intended)

Any discussion board, including Swingersboard, is a microcosm of society. So yes, we each judge each other from the perspective of forming opinions of posters based on their postings. I've also observed that opinions are refined in reaction to the sum total of a given member's postings that are read by another member. Some members are quicker to jump to conclusions, others are not. Your mileage may vary.....