body issues after having kids

[sapphire68]

I'm new to this. My husband and I haven't done this type of thing since before we were married so we are kind of jumping back in just recently. This is 2 kids later mind you. I feel like my body just isn't what it used to be and it depresses me that maybe I won't be appealing enough to another man. Has anyone else ever had these thoughts? I'm not real overweight but I have a few pudgy spots in the usual places, butt and thighs mainly. The thought of being totally naked with a strange, new man totally sounds sexy but at the same time I'm thinking "what am I thinking!!!"

Anyone have any advice they can share with me. It would be greatly appreciated.

[Tybee Swing]

Hi, I think that everybody has feelings like that when they're getting started. Everyone has something about their body they don't like. Or, they just wonder if they'll measure up. You'll learn very fast that swinging is full of normal people with average bodies, each with their own little flaws - and each with their own beauty, too.

Have you looked through swinger's profiles on adult personal ad sites? That's one way to see all the different body types that are in swinging. You'll see every kind of body. Go to any club function or meet-and-greet, and you'll see. Swingers come in every age, shape and size. You have a little pudge in the usual places - don't we all! You'll be fine, I'm sure.

[DGrey]

I felt that way in the beginning as well. I'm full figured and comfortable in my own skin. Wasn't always that way though but when the lights are low and there's bodies on a bed and people are feeling good, it doesn't matter anymore. I've even been called a sex kitten in one of our certifications. It's all good.

E

[Lumina]

I feel that way, too. Delivering babies wasn't kind to my body, and since I had one vaginally (with much tearing) and one by C-section I ended up with the worst of both worlds.

It's stuff that's hidden from the rest of the world except sex partners. My husband sees them and knows it's what it took to bring our beautiful babies into this world so until now it hasn't been much of a concern for me. But as we contemplate swinging I worry about the reaction from men who are not in love with me.

I don't have any advice, just wanted you to know you're not alone.

[sapphire68]

Thanks Lumina and everyone else. Yep, it's always on my mind when I think about how all these beautiful women out there and if it's just a sexual encounter then I better look as good as they do. Who would want an out of shape mom ya know? That's always on my mind. Plus, the older I get the more styles change and I just can't look as good as a 25 yr old no matter how hard I want to try.

[Swingercast]

(((((((((HUGS)))))))))))

To all of you wonderful women that carried lives inside of you and nurtured them into human beings.

Your bodies are sexy because you are a beautiful person.

John

[sapphire68]

Originally Posted by Swingercast

(((((((((HUGS)))))))))))

To all of you wonderful women that carried lives inside of you and nurtured them into human beings.

Your bodies are sexy because you are a beautiful person.

John

awww...thank you. You made my day.

[intensity_too]

I just wanted to let you ladies know you are not alone. I had 2 kids and neither were very kind on my body. I have stretch marks that look like I was mauled by a tiger. But, I am a beautiful person . . . I enjoy sex and if someone wants to judge my ability to perform based on my looks, well, I don't want to have sex with them anyway.

Chin up my beautiful women. You have done the sexiest thing in the world as far as I am concerned . . . you brought wonderful children into the world.

[lost_j1]

We are no Ken and Barbie, but that does not stop us from having fun. The big thing is how comfortable are you with yourself. You need to be comfortable with your own body to relax around others. Not everyone is HWP and we may never be that, but like I said we have fun. What I think a turn off is, somebody who just worry's all the time about what everybody else thinks. My wife and I look through the Swing Lifestyle add's and see alot of people who are not the Ken and Barbie or that HWP. We both agree when we see some of the add's and they say that they are comfortable thier bodies we enjoy that. We go out to enjoy ourselves and if nothing happens thats fine, but we had a good time. I am not worried what others think as long as we had a good time that is all that matters. After three children and working all week, we need to let loose and dance on the weekends to gain some sanity.. I would rather try something then sit and wonder if I ever had a chance or I should have done something. So go out and enjoy life.......

[Lumina]

John, what a wonderful thing to say. You too, intensity!

Thanks everyone.

And Sapphire, I can tell you that my husband wants an out of shape mother constantly!

[ShellyM]

Chin up my beautiful women. You have done the sexiest thing in the world as far as I am concerned . . . you brought wonderful children into the world. [/quote]

I agree with you completely on this!

[AUSmith73]

I'm glad I'm not the only one that felt that way in the beginning. We have found that our love of sex pretty well cancels out any "fluffy" areas that we have. If you're a skilled and energetic lover, and it's obvious that you love what you're doing...that's what makes a hottie in our book! flamethrow

[daisy girl]

I am an African American woman and this characteristic doesn't fit some people's definition/standard of beauty. But..I have found that there are many people that are very attracted to me. I have many flaws but these flaws become irrelevant when I really think about how fun it is to play. I guess what I am saying is that there are so many definitions of sentuality, sexiness, and attractiveness...There are lots of people that will not be attracted to you but there are LOTS that will be.

So I say...Embrace yourself...imperfections and all. Confidence is so freakin' sexy!!!!!

Cheers!

Porttasters on Swing Lifestyle

[DBL D]

Hi girls!

Most of these threads are from ladies...I should tell you that if you have issues with your bodies you probably always will. No one is perfect, at least none from my neighborhood! My wife has issues too. Not happy with nice photos because they don't look like her. Well, who do they look like?

I am one of the guys who used to have a pretty athletic body. Never had a great physique, ala Arnold, but pretty functional. Down to 7% body fat at one time 20 years ago. I learned how to brew beer several years ago and it shows. Now that I'm 50 I still have firmness but there is some additional fat here and there. I am concerned that I will become unacceptable, if I haven't already. I swear to start excercising but spend too much freakin' time on the internet. I guess I'll have to set up a stationary bike hooked to a generator so I can excercise and be on the internet.

Anyway, I thought it might be nice to hear from a guy who has some issues too.

Male D

[jeffstoy]

Hey ladies don't forget that most men out there do understand how a woman changes after childbirth. Jeff says the marks and scars only make a lady more sexy.