Profiles that say "No Barbies and Kens"

[WesternSwing]

Originally Posted by EvilMJ

My point here that it is easy to lump all the good looking, fit, hot bodied people into one group and say they are shallow and only want to play with other perfect people, but that would be incorrect.

My wife says about these types "it would be so much easier to hate you if you weren't so nice."

Mr. WS

[Tybee Swing]

Originally Posted by NandTfromCA

...And if you write that you are looking for all of the positive qualities that you think K and B won’t have, you will rule them out that way rather then using a stereotype.

Mr.

Excellent advice!!! I really like the notion of keeping a positive spin, and especially about being specific in what characteristics you are interested or not interested in - not resorting to the stereotype.

[Tybee Swing]

Originally Posted by Lovinlife59912

The problem is that people take a look at you for a second and say "yes or No" some won't even take the time to meet you but just look at pictures.

Yes, I completely agree with you! In the personals, I would guess that many make a decision at first glance. But still, we find that there are people, quite a few actually, who go deeper and really want to know who you are. We've had numerous responses from people who loved what we wrote and the way we wrote it (our personal flair), had very clearly had read the whole profile, and paid attention. It's important to us to show personality in our profile, so they get a taste of who we are - we like to make friends in the lifestyle, not just get laid - so that's important to us. We elaborate on our answers rather than just stating the same usual cliches or too-vague answers, just for this very reason.

I took no offense at all to what you said, and I totally understand where you are coming from!

[Tybee Swing]

Originally Posted by Lovinlife59912

Tybee swing, I'm curious now if the barbie and ken question was asked out of curiousity or out of frustration that there are guidelines that people have had to put up to protect themselves.

I asked out of curiousity, and to try to learn WHY people would choose to rule out entire groups of people based on a stereotype, rather than their genuine and unique characteristics. No matter what people look like (the B&K thing seems to be mainly about looks), everybody is different and unique. Assuming personality traits about short people, tall, pretty, unattractive, thin, heavy, rich, poor...seems just ignorant, to me. I'm surprised that they would throw the baby out with the bathwater by classifying somebody "barbie and ken" and eliminating them just on that.

Guidelines that people have to protect themselves: Everybody with any sense at all should have some guidelines, I completely agree. Ways that I protect myself, personally: we only play safe, we stay together, we meet people and get to know them first, we use our instincts and gut feelings, we pay attention to their attitudes, see if they're respectful and non-pushy, see if we're comfortable around them, we see if we're on the same page about important things, etc.

But, ruling people out by a quick judgement or a stereotype - I don't see how that's protecting oneself.

[Tybee Swing]

Originally Posted by Spoomonkey

I have to be honest - the whole "ken and barbie" thing really annoys me. It seems very childish. No one sees themselves as Ken & Barbie...

I totally agree! And since nobody thinks they are Ken and Barbie, what's the point of telling them up front not to respond to your ad?

Originally Posted by Spoomonkey

I would never call us Ken and Barbie - but we did go to a party where we were absolutely ignored (read: received the coldest shoulder in swingdom) for reasons that were pretty obvious.

Can you please elaborate, in detail? I'd love to hear this story! Thanks for sharing.

[Lovinlife59912]

Yes, I completely agree with you! In the personals, I would guess that many make a decision at first glance. But still, we find that there are people, quite a few actually, who go deeper and really want to know who you are. We've had numerous responses from people who loved what we wrote and the way we wrote it (our personal flair), had very clearly had read the whole profile, and paid attention. It's important to us to show personality in our profile, so they get a taste of who we are - we like to make friends in the lifestyle, not just get laid - so that's important to us. We elaborate on our answers rather than just stating the same usual cliches or too-vague answers, just for this very reason.

Too bad you live in Georgia and not in Montana, I wish there were more out there like you.

[Tybee Swing]

What a nice thing to say! If we ever find our way to Montana, we'll ring you up. If you get to Dixie, give us a holler!

[LICouple4u]

I could definitely understand the intimidation factor. I think this goes along with the 'out of your league' thread that is here. I feel that the picture perfect couples are out of our league, so I don't mail them.

I've got stretch marks, hubby is husky, so I have this (albeit baseless) thought that they'd have no interest in us.

Lo and behold - met an absolutely GORGEOUS woman at a club and so far so good

In our Swing Lifestyle profile we mention that we are more interested in your personality than looks. A man or woman with extra padding isn't an issue to us, personality is a huge turn on though.

[Lovinlife59912]

What a nice thing to say! If we ever find our way to Montana, we'll ring you up. If you get to Dixie, give us a holler!

Sounds good to us. Montana is a great place to visit.

[WA_Cple]

Good points everyone It is always very affirming to hear what people have to say and its always good to have assumptions challenged!

We would never say "No Barbies and Kens" because frankly we want to be open to a variety of people and experiences. However, we are careful to make sure that people are aware that I am a BBW and hubby is pleasantly umm... pleasantly plump? Oh dear... anyway...

Mrs WA