a bit worried about our bodies.

[Curiuoswonder]

Hi all we are a youngish couple 23 and 24 and considering going to our first swingers night club (in Australia) we are well a bit worried about our bodies. please tell me what you think of my descriptions:

Me (F)

172cm tall, 76kg, average bust, long legs long dark hair and green eyes :rollseyes , (worried about my weight though I mean I'm not overally fat but do need to loose 11kg)

Him (M)

He's 6ft tall, 110kg with lots of muscle under a bit of fat, red shaved head, red goatie, cleaning shaved face and chest (once again he is worried about his weight but I find him soooooooooo sexy like a teddy bear and when he stands tall his tummy is flat, is arms are very muscley as are his legs) he's also a bit worried about looking like a perv.

Thanks soooo much everyone I really really appreciate it.

love us )

[Curiuoswonder]

whoops forgot to mention, he's one of the most considerate people I know

[Pinmonkey]

I would say, (without doing the converstions and without knowing your area) that the people in the lifestyle run the gammut (is that how it's spelled) of body sizes and types. Everyone is worried about how attractive they are to other couples. Some will like the way you look, some won't. Just like in everyday life.

Good luck!

[MarriedNY'ers69]

I don't know those messurements LOL but I really don't think it matters. There is someone for everyone. Big small what ever! That's part of swing it's the different spices that make it nice! But I can say your insacurities can really make it a bust. Confidence is a good thing. People look for personality and looks. If you don't have the first no one usually cares about the second good luck and relaxe it's supposed to be fun and free

[MarriedNY'ers69]

Oh yeah and welcome and good luck!

[gaznrachy]

need to loose 11kg

ha ha ha ha ha ha

You guys should just get out there and enjoy yourselves.

If only the rest of us could say we needed to loose so little.

But really don't worry about it. People come in all shapes and sizes in life. It's just the same in the clubs. Relax with yourself first otherwise you'll struggle.

People don't go to the clubs to judge or comment or try to pick faults, they go to have a good time which is what you should both do.

Have fun!

[lovedoctor]

...Wait a minute? So what are you worried about!?! Just go, and have fun. Everyone worries about their bodies. Remember when you started dating? Same thing! Just imagine them all naked. ...er, or don't - you may see 'em that way soon enough. Have a drink, relax and have fun.

[CB_n_Red]

Got to agree with the rest! Don't worry about it!

Red and I could probably do to lose a bit of weight ourselves (11kg between us would about do it!), but it doesn't stop us having a lot of fun. We tend to feel that people who are obsessive about the size and shape of those they are meeting are probably not the sort we would want to meet anyway.

CB

[JnCC]

Originally Posted by Curiuoswonder

Hi all we are a youngish couple 23 and 24 and considering going to our first swingers night club (in Australia) we are well a bit worried about our bodies.

Welcome to the crowd. Almost everybody is "worried about their body." I know people that spend 20 hours a week in the gym. Why? Because they're worried about their bodies.

I don't care what shape you're in, if you both find something sexxy about your mate, chances are that somebody else will find something sexxy about them too. It might not be "Ken and Barbie," but you weren't interested in them anyway, were you?

Just GO, and enjoy.

[Thrax]

Nerd that I am I started to figure out the conversions, then I thought, "The hell with it," since I'm a lazy nerd.

Dito what the folks above said. If you are comfortable with each other in your current skins, then project that sexy confidence to others. They'll notice it.

If you still decide to re-figure yourselves, then go for it if you think it will improve your self-images and your health and well-being. But do it for you. And remember, you're in swinging to add a new dimension to your sex lives and enhance your relationship. Think of that when you are contemplating how to approach the lifestyle. Be realistic and don't obsess about it; this is supposed to be about enjoyment and not stress.

Jump in and enjoy!

Thrax

[sereneiders]

Dito with all the above.

I think you actually need to go to a swinger club and watch other people around you as to understand how much af a common issue this is.

I believe swinging comes along with a lot of personal changes, several of those going against what our culture rule for us all. No one here will claim they're the perfect couple from the thoot paste TV advertisement, in any case, the concept for "excellence" comes from well grounded, every day things that the couple embrances and threasure, that have very few to do with the cultural dogma for a good marriage. As for us, we trend to be unconfident about "perfect" people and couples who put the esthetic aspects of life over everithing else that define ourselves as human beings.

Of course, there are personal tastes you may or may not fit, but you'd be rejected by lyfestilers just because you two weren't electible for the Baywatch main characters. I know I am not, as most of the lifestylers I've seen.

As a side tought, if you think lifestylers have the chance to be with anyone, someone resembling the cover magazine top model, as much as with normal people: talls, shorts, fat, slimmy, white, black, yellow, blonde, dark... etc. I think it reaches a point were you lack interest in these features, and you look for other things in people, those more subtle things that make them sensual, just the same ones you said you both found in eachother.

So, forget about this... BUT BEWARE... don't you ever dare to wear something green! Everyone knows poeple who wear green outfits worth less than the rest of us as to swing with.

[blinkey]

Y'all know that google does the conversions easily! Search for "172 cm to feet" and get 172 centimeters = 5.64304462 feet, etc.

Anyway, I agree with the rest: a good looking person with insecurities quickly becomes less attractive (or even ugly) and an average looking person with an electric personality can become extremely attractive. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, but the more you can make others feel good about themselves, the more they'll like you and consequently think you're attractive.

Blinkey

[JaneAndJohnDoe]

Originally Posted by CB_n_Red

people who are obsessive about the size and shape of those they are meeting are probably not the sort we would want to meet anyway.

Wow! We couldn't agree with you more!

In fact, John and I are astounded how many people will give astonishingly narrow margins for physical characteristics when they are looking for people to swing with, and they will completely ignore personality traits. These types of superficial people are not worth our time.

We look for sexy people who think of themselves as sexy people. It glows on someone when they feel sexy, and it says something about them in the bedroom. People who are caught up in physical characteristics tend to miss out on passion.

In fact, here's a line from our profile, as we describe the people we are interested in meeting...

"You are realistic about this, and you aren't expecting to have this resemble the last porn movie you saw. You know that great sex is something beyond the visual experience, and when great sex happens between people who truly love it, the experience is nothing short of fabulous and fun. Your ideal night, if all things fall into place, would end with fabulous sex, a tangle of body parts, mussed sheets, smeared makeup, and complete exhaustion."

So, to answer the original post...

Don't worry about body parts and lumps and bumps. Have fun. Enjoy yourself. Try and remember that everyone else is thinking about their own flaws too.

[2LookingForFun]

I could not agree more with all of the posts! We were also soooooooo nervous about going to our first club, and they were just the nicest people we have ever met!

Go and have fun!

Mrs.

[Thrax]

Originally Posted by blinkey

Y'all know that google does the conversions easily! Search for "172 cm to feet" and get 172 centimeters = 5.64304462 feet, etc.

Well, I went to Google first and got that far. But then, realizing that Google doesn't finish the job (it only gives the answer in feet and tenths of feet, not feet and inches) I got immediately tired from even considering converting 5.64304462 feet into 5'7" or 5'8" or whatever it is. So, it was both a disappointment -- and actually a relief -- that Google still can't do everything.

But I still heart teh Internets.

Thrax