Finding Couples with opposite body types

Some advice please. Since meeting 7 years ago, my wife has gone from slim to very fat, gaining about 100 pounds+. I love her but am not as physically attracted to her with this weight. However, I know there are guys out there who are into heavier women. What are the chances of finding a couple where the woman is slim but the guy is into fat chick?

[tracy1878]

you should work on your own relationship with your wife before getting into swinging. Perhaps she gained weight because she was unhappy with your marriage? I know I sure wouldn't be happy if my husband got online and complained about how fat I was.

by the way, we detest being called "fat chick"

[C & J Ohio]

Couples cum in every permutation and combination. There are lots of couples out there with fat husbands and slim wives, and vice versa. As long as your wife is attracted to men as heavy as she is, you should have no problem finding playmates. As for the comment about possibly gaining weight because of trouble in the marriage, that is just an excuse. Lots of people have all sorts of problems, without gaining any weight. Problems don't cause weight gain -- eating too much does. "Fat chick" is not a nice way to describe your wife, but most other terms are no better, and some far worse.

[txduo2000]

Originally Posted by C & J Ohio

Couples cum in every permutation and combination. There are lots of couples out there with fat husbands and slim wives, and vice versa. As long as your wife is attracted to men as heavy as she is, you should have no problem finding playmates. As for the comment about possibly gaining weight because of trouble in the marriage, that is just an excuse. Lots of people have all sorts of problems, without gaining any weight. Problems don't cause weight gain -- eating too much does. "Fat chick" is not a nice way to describe your wife, but most other terms are no better, and some far worse.

Actually, it's not an excuse. It has been scientifically proven that there is a gene related to obesity and weight gain. Meaning that some folks have this gene, and therefore a greater propensity for gaining weight. Some do not have this gene, and those are the folks that you see who are "naturally thin" ... the ones who can eat anything they want, whenever they want, and as much as they want and not gain weight.

I am not an obese woman, though I do have a propensity for gaining weight easier and faster, so I have to watch it all the time. It is a genetic thing.

But I do agree with the advice given by tracy ... just because the OP doesn't want to have sex with his wife anymore, isn't cause enough for him to go out seeking a man who will. That is ridiculous.

Work on your marriage, be honest about what bothers you, communicate openly and get to know each all over again before you even entertain the idea of bringing others to your life and bedroom.

[HornyCouple]

How does she feel about gaining 100+ lbs? i was married and my ex gained 100+ lbs and became a mirserable person on top of it. We finally got divorced. She believed it was the weight and yes that was a factor. however, her attitude and actions were the bigger problem. She refused to seek help and just ate more. She perceived me as an awful person for encouraging her to loose weight. Dr. told her that she needed to loose weight and the orthopeadic told her to loose weight or face debilitating knee problems.

it is my understanding that she now has diabetes, high blood pressure and knees that need replacement. She is only 37.

[joenmichelle]

Our Problem is we both want to swing and due to my wife being Fluffy or heavyset makes it hard cause we haven't found any cpls that want to play with us due to that reason... that is their loss but makes us wonder about swinging at all...
Our thing is as long as the people have good hygiene being heavyset shouldn't matter.... there are some skinny people that don't have good hygiene ...
So those of you people that are out there just looking for the "either H/W/P or skinny" people remember they can have body odor tooo or their pubic areas smell bad....
Sorry for getting on my soapbox but heavyset people have feelings too
hugs Joe and Michelle

[HornyCouple]

joenmichelle,

The bottom line is that it does matter to some. This does not make it right but it is the reality of it. This applies to nonswingers also.

Keep looking... Good Luck

[Alura]

My wife and I are "opposite body types." She's 5'9" and I'm 5'3". I've always been able to eat anything I want without gaining weight while she has not.

She's recently gained weight because her oncologist has encouraged her to eat more sugar while she is undergoing chemotherapy. The theory is that cancer cells love sugar and grow rapidly in its presence. Since chemo drugs attack rapidly growing cells, sugar is an ally.

She's about to have her last treatment. After that, she must revert to a low sugar diet.

Be careful in criticizing folks who are overweight. There may be reasons of which you are unaware.

Mr. Alura

[WesternSwing]

Originally Posted by Unregistered

Some advice please. Since meeting 7 years ago, my wife has gone from slim to very fat, gaining about 100 pounds+. I love her but am not as physically attracted to her with this weight. However, I know there are guys out there who are into heavier women. What are the chances of finding a couple where the woman is slim but the guy is into fat chick?

It sounds to me like you are considering swinging so you can get with a skinny chick since your wife is no longer one. THE WRONG REASON TO BE DOING THIS. You are a trainwreck waiting to happen.

There is either a physiological or pyschological condition that has promoted your wife's weight gain. She needs to discover what this is if she is to get back to a weight that a doctor feels is healthy for her.

As txdou and tracy said, some people have to work at maintaining weight in either direction, and sometimes issues such as depression can play a huge part in weight gain (or extreme loss). Mrs. WS and I are opposites that way. She always teases she looks at food and gains 5 lbs. and I don't eat for a few hours and I lose 5 lbs. You can see in our families that it is by a large part physiological; her mom is stalkier and mine was uber-skinny.

I also find it interesting the hypocrisy that many guys bitching about "fat chicks" are technically obese themselves according the body mass index. Obviously weight is another one way street in Gendertown.

Mr. WS

[curiousagain]

About 1% of people have a genetic, neurological, or "glandular" problem causing obesity. Since there are way more than 1% of people in the USA with obesity problems, then you have to look at other reasons. These reasons are almost always “fixable”.

Fortunately for me, I am mesomorphic which in part means I can accumulate or lose mass very quickly. Unfortunately for me, I am a stress eater. When under a lot of stress, I find comfort in food which most of the time is better than finding comfort in alcohol and drugs, but in the long run can be just as deadly.

People gain weight for different reasons. Sure, it is basically because they are putting more calories in than expending. But, what I am getting at is, does she eat more and why? Does she have a less active lifestyle and if so why? My Daughter gained a bunch of weight after she became a stay at home Mom. She finally figured out it was because she was always cooking and tasting and eating with the kids and instead of being on the go in her old job was staying indoors. She bought a treadmill and started tracking her calories in a daily notebook and in about 8 months she took the 60 lbs off. In a little over 2 years I have lost 70+lbs of fat and gained 40+ lbs of muscle. Notice neither one of these is a “quick success story”. I had gained my weight from stress eating and inactivity related to a couple of back injuries.



You love your wife but are no longer physically attracted to her due to her weight. This doesn’t mean there is anything wrong with you. What it does mean is your wife has a health problem that is affecting both of you and your relationship. I think your time is much better spent trying to help her vs trying to find someone to swing with.

Her weight gain is a major, major health problem in addition to the problems it is causing in your relationship. If she were alcoholic, wouldn’t you want to help her get on the wagon?

But, like a lot of other things, you can only help her, you can’t do it for her and success won’t happen overnight. And, it may be caused by something that can’t be fixed “right now” . A word up though, when you get to exploring the causes, it may be your relationship or the state of it, or her perception of these things.

[EvilMJ]

I couldn't have put it any better than Curiousagain. Wonderfully put.

As as woman who definately has a struggle with weight I know how hard it can be. There is nothing more demoralizing then eating your veggies and watching some size 3 munching chips and never gaining weight. It plays with your self estime and takes a toll on your marriage. It certainly is not going to improve things by calling the person you love Fat Chick!!

When I was feeling low and had gained a bunch of weight from being a stay at home mom for that first year my hubby suggested we buy the neighbour's treadmill. Not becuase he felt I needed to lose weight, but becuase he could see how miserable I was. He was more concerned about my emotional well being then my physical. That's where you have to start.

Be supportive, talk to her. There could be more going on in her mind then you will ever imagine. And don't kid yourself , losing weight is a very hard thing to do, more so for women then men, it is a long road and as Curiousagain pointed out there are no quick fixes.

[carolinaskye]

I too agee ...that was extremely well -put curiousagain...and quite sensitive. I honestly do think depression and stress can help pack on those pounds

[carolinaskye]

Oops...didnt mean to post the above just yet...I too agree....that was sweetly and sensitively worded curiousagain. I very much think depression..oppression..and stress can cause people to unwittingly pack on the pounds...and as the weight rises....the self esteem plumets..its a very vicious cycle. I am so saddened by your caustic remarks over your wife's weight..I see that you say you love her..but somehow hearing you refer to her as a fat chick doesnt sound so loving...rather than deciding you need to find thinner women to have sex with..why not try to help her figure out what is behind this.....physical or emotional..thats what a partnership is all about, pal! I am still a newbie here and not really active in the lifestyle at this point but what impresses me with this group is the genuine love and respect between these couples. Somehow I dont think very many would want to play with you guys..NOT because of your wife's weight any more than because of your attitude towards her,,,,,its NEVER any fun to hang out with a couple in relationship trouble. And something too you might want to keep in mind..the weight can come off....go away...but hurt feelings and broken hearts are not as easily reduced..resentment can linger and shatter a marriage. I am sure others besides myself have seen wives lose a large amount of weight...regain self esteem..and walk right out that door. Something that you might want to spend a little more time thinking about instead of swinging right now..I do truly wish you and your wife the best of luck..and hope you both rediscover that which brought you together in the first place..love and passion.

[adicktid69]

stress can definitely play a HUGE roll in gaining weight.my hubby and i are having a rough patch right now and ive put on about 25lbs.ive always been plump and even grossly overweight,but i lost 167lbs! sex can really help melt off the pounds!

[carolinaskye]

my point exactly addickt! It sure can. I think our friend in need of advice could very well find his dream lover and sexual goddess right there at home. with a lot of encouragement and support and a little patience.