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  1. #1
    Here to Stay mycokizyrz's Avatar
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    Default BBW/BHM and swinging

    I'm a BHM and a single male. I see some couples seek single males, but will I have next to no chance against the guys of "normal" size? I also would like to ask that the other way around for couples with BBW and/or BHM..Is it hard to find people that like larger folk? Personally I have no preference as to size.

  2. #2
    Swingers Board Addict pumpkins1970's Avatar
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    Default Re: BBW/BHM and swinging

    It is very sad to say, but yes it does make it harder to find people to play with if you are BHM/BBW, I can say this because we are a larger couple. We have only been in this for a short time, but we have never been contacted by anyone but larger people, even if we send out messages to "normal" size people we never get a reply. It is very sad to say we are a nation that size and beauty is all most people think about, I think that personality and how you carry yourself makes a difference, and I'm not talking about everyone, you have the right to who you find attractive I'm just saying it makes it harder. But with all that said it is even hard for a single male with no female partner to get into swinging, most people are looking for the female and the males are just along for the ride! LOL Well good luck in your search and we wish you the best of luck.

  3. #3
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    Default Re: BBW/BHM and swinging

    Quote Originally Posted by pumpkins1970
    I'm not talking about everyone, you have the right to who you find attractive I'm just saying it makes it harder. But with all that said it is even hard for a single male with no female partner to get into swinging, most people are looking for the female and the males are just along for the ride! LOL Well good luck in your search and we wish you the best of luck.
    Well said pumpkins!

    Myco, it really is tough finding playmates when you are a single male.
    There are so many factors that people consider and any one of them can make the difference as to how they make their choices.

    Most everybody has something stacked against them (single or couples) when it comes to what others find attractive. Some of mine are; I'm single, my age (48) and I'm a smoker.

    The only thing I can urge is patience. Don't let swinging become an imperative. This needs to be a luxury activity.

    How are you going about meeting people? Is it through ad sites?
    Are there any opportunities to attend an event or a meet and greet?
    Sometimes people who passed you over before will rethink that when they meet you.

    Clubs could be an option but that can be difficult as well because many of them are restrictive towards single males.

    Just put your best face out there. Be as positive and respectful to yourself and others as you can. Most of all find ways to have fun with this and that will shine through.

  4. #4
    Registered JnCC's Avatar
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    Default Re: BBW/BHM and swinging

    Quote Originally Posted by mycokizyrz
    I'm a BHM and a single male. I see some couples seek single males, but will I have next to no chance against the guys of "normal" size? I also would like to ask that the other way around for couples with BBW and/or BHM..Is it hard to find people that like larger folk? Personally I have no preference as to size.
    What you get out of swinging is directly related to what you bring into it.

    Reduced to it's fundamentals, most sex happens between one man and one woman. As a consequence, ALL single males trying to get into swinging start out with 2 strikes against them.

    If, as a single male, you're attractive, personable, size-proportionate, and all your stars are in alignment, it's occasionally possible to make a connection with a couple. Remove any of those qualities, and your chances drop precipitously...in effect, to ZERO.

    Generally, HWP couples are looking for other HWP couples. Those that are also looking for single males usually set the bar a little higher for them (and a little lower for single females, but that's another subject).

  5. #5
    Swingers Board Addict
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    Default Re: BBW/BHM and swinging

    Dito Hill. I think you have offered great suggestions.

    To me, we do seek out single males occasionally, and the number one factor is personality. Of course there has to be some physical attractiveness, but wit, charm, etiquette and intelligence are the things that turn me on the most.

    I have played with larger (even shorter) men and I have found them to be very, very exciting.

    This may sound odd, but a larger man seems to be more cushiony. It is easy for me (at 5'11, with longer legs) to ride him. And this may sound vain, but I feel sexier with a larger man then I do with the 6-pack abs type. I feel like I can breath, and don't have to tighten my tummy muscles!

    Don't give up your search. I am sure there are plenty of couples out there that feel the same as I do.

    Everyone has their thing, and I know you are it for someone.
    Mrs. Indy

  6. #6
    Here to Stay mycokizyrz's Avatar
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    Default Re: BBW/BHM and swinging

    Thanks to everyone for your advice and encouragement so far..

    pumpkins1970 - It does seem to be the case most times the men are "along for the ride". But i'll continue for now. I'm just taking time to do a lot of reading and go in slow. Good luck to you also.

    hilltop - I plan to take this slowly and carefully, it's not an imperative. I believe it's better to be a little overly cautious than jump in too fast. This is the first site related to swinging i've registered on. I'm going to look into clubs in my area and maybe try a meet & greet.

    JnCC - Yes it seems the old rule of "3's a crowd" is still in play somewhat. I see it as a matter of getting to know people first, and they'll either accept me the way I am or not. The way I see it i'll have at least made some new friends.

    northindycpl - I totally agree that personality is #1, there has to be some communication first. It's not odd at all what you say about liking large men, I know there are ladies out there that do. In fact i've met one online that I cyber with fairly regularly.

  7. #7
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    Default Re: BBW/BHM and swinging

    Great post Myco!

    Sounds like you've got a good head on your shoulders.

    Good luck and keep posting!

  8. #8
    Here to Stay mycokizyrz's Avatar
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    Default Re: BBW/BHM and swinging

    Quote Originally Posted by hilltop
    Great post Myco!

    Sounds like you've got a good head on your shoulders.

    Good luck and keep posting!
    Thanks, I like to think I have a good head up there. I'll need a bit of luck too so thanks for that also.

  9. #9
    Swingers Board Addict
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    Default Re: BBW/BHM and swinging

    That's the spirit!!

    As they say: Luck - preparation meeting opportunity . . .

  10. #10
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    Default Re: BBW/BHM and swinging

    A list of preferences is it's own punishment. People miss out on some really great experiences that way. We're reminded of two couples who have and still have an ltr. One day, the male of one couple said to the other couple, "You know, if you'd followed the preferences in your profile, we'd have never met." They just laughed, because it was undeniably true.

    It should give us all pause for thought.

  11. #11
    Registered User nvancpl's Avatar
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    Default Re: BBW/BHM and swinging

    Hi there Mycok,

    Just newly registered here and saw your post and have to add a similar comment to Northindy...for myself (the female 1/2) I often find myself attracted to what many would call a BHM; I like that term by the way, haven't come across it before.

    Certainly the key aspect is a connection on personality but as always physicality is important and I do like the cushiony/teddybear aspect to stockier guys. As well, there is also a certain aspect to feeling their weight on top or behind me.

    Just my 2 cents worths. ~smile~

  12. #12
    Here to Stay mycokizyrz's Avatar
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    Default Re: BBW/BHM and swinging

    hilltop - Yes I certainly hope in time to have an opportunity. I'm just going to take my time and be patient.

    tncinmd - Yes preferences can potentially cost you some experiences. I guess it comes down to how willing one is to expand their boundaries. I have some lines i'm just not willing to cross like everyone else. The key is communication and making your limits known up front, then there should be minimal problems. Up until early 2004 I was like I would have to call "the majority" and only after "Barbie" type women. When I started posting photos online at another site and found I was accepted the way I was it made me see the beauty in all women regardless of size. It was really a life changing event for me. Types of photos I would have laughed at a few years ago I now admire.

    nvancpl - I'm pleased to hear that, it always makes me feel so good to hear a lady saying they like a large man. Like I said to northindycpl, I know there are ladies out there that do. They are a rarity and i'm very happy to have met another. Of course I agree the inside is what's most important though, the physical doesn't matter unless there's some kind of connection.
    You can call me mc for short, all my friends do. :)

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