BBW sex or not?

[MoonLightKiss]

Originally Posted by Thrax

I'm not self-centered enough to think you are referring specifically to me, but just to let you know, after I read your post I removed my hands from the towel...and it stayed there. Wow! Is that...magic?

Thrax

You may rest assured, that I was indeed most definitely referring to you sugar. But magic? Are we sure it wasn't something a little more, shall we say, substantial?

[telly2]

Originally Posted by prettylady

Ok first off, I went back and reread my posts. I don't think I was out of line with anything I wrote or thought. Although that quote thing can make a comment take on a whole new meaning if you want it too.

Anyway I was shocked to see how bad this thread crashed. Ok maybe not that shocked.

I want to take a moment to say this. I do not agree that people should rethink their grocery list. I am a sucker for chocolate sandwich spead, who the hell am I to say that you should not buy your treat.
I do not think that "fat" people are disqusting. I find people who don't take care of themselves disgusting.

I don't believe overweight people are unfit. Hell my sister is concidered overwieght and she has great endurance and good eating habits.

Although fast food resturants and junk food has caused a raise in childhood obesity, I don't beleive that it is only lack of will power that causes it.
If the health organizations say obesity is a desease who the hell are we to make comments stating that obesity is caused from poor eating habits and lazy asses. It is not true. genetics does have something to do with it.

Now I am going to tell you something about myself that some may find offencive but I am trying to prove the point that there is more to overweight issues then the accused poor health care of oneself.

When I was preggers with my baby girl I craved Big Macs. I ate a big mac every day from 6 months on.
heres the part where some of you may take offence. I lost all but 5 lbs when I gave birth. Another woman could have had the same issue with cravings and spend the rest of her young life fighting off those Big Macs.

I do believe Genetics has alot to do with wieght issues. People who are prone to being larger have to fight like hell to maintain the healthy body wieght as set down by the World Health Organization.

It is way to easy for naturally thin people to give bigger people a finger wagging because it is so easy for us.
You know many of us, (prettylady holds her head in shame as she makes this statement) figure what the hell, get into the gym, eat right, and problem solved.
NOT COOL ladies and gentlmen. I have learnt alot in my Fitness and Health Program I am taking in college. One being that that statement I made just now is chocked full of shit. It is not that easy for everyone.

Westernswing, I may have made a kneejerk reaction to comments you made. But hear me out please. I have been refered to as a Barbie based solely on my size. I have been in the change room and heard a couple of girls teasing me. Making strange comments about me. I have a tiny mole on my belly. My Dad called it a beep button. He pushes it I say beep. It was a flaw that they attacked. They joked about my workout on the heavy bag. "just who does she think she is...Michelle Tyson" hee hee hee. No, I don't think I am Michelle Tyson. I am Prettylady, this years World Kickboxing Champion and just who the hell are you?

It hurt to know that because I work out and am thin, I was the target for these girls. Funny thing is I was jealous of the one girls voice and the other girl had the most beautiful red hair.

I do get offened by Barbie comments, probably to easily.
But at the risk of contradicting myself. I am sorry but I refuse to appologise for any comments I made. I made them, I always stand by what I say, I may not word it well but it is how I think.

I will appologize if any comments I made hurt anyone directly, if I attacked anyone directly although I don't think I did.
Please let me know if I did.

Damn this is long, I don't usually like to get argumentative. I like to like people and I like them to like me back.

Your friend,
Prettylady

pretty lady thank you for setting a few thing straight, that we are not all lazy asses, some of us do more in a day than most would classify as normal, personally i eat all homemade healthy food, very little junk food and work my ass off, and guess what, i am still over weight. Genetics are here and i can fight them and not eat, but hay this is who i am and if you don't like it don't look.

My hubby had the oposite problem, eat all he wants and never break 150lbs. we both have to fight generally the same battle. If he ate what i do he would fade away, and if i ate what he does, i would balloon up even more.


But i think this was supposed to be a simple thread of yes or no type answers and turned into a nightmare of insults and advice for how to be perfect.

Well for me, i am perfect, i have a hubby who loves me unconditionally {weather i am large or small} 3 beautiful children, the abillity to stay home and raise them, and yeah a string of guys and girls who do think i am great to sleep with. what more could a girl ask for. To be thin? i think not. Everyone around me is happy the way i am, and so am i.

[JustAskJulie]

Ya know I try to avoid certain threads but eventually the fact that I'm the admin forces me to read them and deal with them, so here I go.

Originally Posted by SuandBud

You don't have to be overweight to enjoy life to the full.

No one said you did.

I think people take way too much exception to the "Ken and Barbie" statement. I don't look at a good looking in shape couple and think "Ken & Barbie". However, if after talking to a good looking in shape couple I find them vapid and shallow or find that they think themselves better than others , then I definately think "Ken & Barbie". Therefore it is in the attitude not in the looks themselves.

I think the term "Ken & Barbie" has become overused as an easy label, and is often misused where it does not apply, and for that reason many good looking inshape couples take offense to the term, automatically assuming that it applies to them. The sad truth is that if they do take offense to something so silly then chances are the term does apply. But that's just my opinion.

Originally Posted by prettylady

If anyone called me a barbie to my face I would be pissed, NOT because I am a drama queen, but how dare anyone make such an assumption about me with out meeting me.

And rightfully so.

I think that too many here are taking offense to a comment that was not directed at them. No one here has said, hey so and so you are a "Barbie" or a "Ken" and yet several people here have taken offense as if that has been the case.

Originally Posted by SuandBud

We could say that fit people have more stamina (yer, right!) Firstly, when it comes to doing fit things (like running marathons) it's probably true. But secondly, when it comes to sex and passion and intimacy being "fit" is no advantage at all. It's desire and fun and humour and your word "passion" that counts in the bedroom olympics.

Very good point actually. And perhaps that is just why hoistsail's experience has shown that larger women are more passionate in bed and my experience has shown me that guys with really large dicks suck in bed. Those who may have been dissed because of their size my find it to their advantage to be more passionate (read: active) in bed... just as IMO guys with overly large penises seem to have the idea that because they have a large dick that is all they need (they have no idea how to use it or how to use any of the other tools they may have) - while a guy with an average or OMG even small dick has learned that he has to use more of his "tools" and has to make an effort to use them well, and perhaps he has come to that conclusion only through feeling inadequate in comparison to those larger dicks. So in reality what has happened is that over-compensation (in a way) has become a benefit.


Several people here have stepped over the lines of decorum. It's fine to say what you think or feel but you should do so with a bit of tact. By no means do I think everyone should agree but eventually you just have to accept that you've said what you came to say and move on and stop swinging that bat. All you end up doing is pissing yourself off more and pissing off everyone around you and in the end making yourselves look really bad. Over what? The fact that someone doesn't agree with you?


Now I have said my piece and Once again I pull out my new favorite smilie... and I'll use both ... so you can stop beating whatever dead animal you are beating (be it a horse or an anteater).

Stop beating dead :deadhorse :beatdeadh

[SuAndBud]

Wow, Julie! You may be "Owner/Admin" of the board but does that ipso facto qualify you to be a moderator?

J Quote:

Ya know I try to avoid certain threads but eventually the fact that I'm the admin forces me to read them and deal with them, so here I go.


Quote:
Originally Posted by SuandBud
You don't have to be overweight to enjoy life to the full.

J Quote:

No one said you did. - Retort: YES you did, Julie. Yes you did. Read the blinkin' posts! Almost all of you with nary an exception were telling us that we were unsexy, shallow, lousy lovers etc., purely because we weren't overweight.

J Quote:

I think people take way too much exception to the "Ken and Barbie" statement. I don't look at a good looking in shape couple and think "Ken & Barbie". However, if after talking to a good looking in shape couple I find them vapid and shallow or find that they think themselves better than others , then I definately think "Ken & Barbie". Therefore it is in the attitude not in the looks themselves. - Retort: Agreed on that. But we might have a similar take on when we meet overweight people, being prepare to talk to them and find out a little about them. We might find them so incredibly intelligent and deep and sensuous that they just don't do it for us as we're so much the opposite - LOL

J Quote:

I think the term "Ken & Barbie" has become overused as an easy label, and is often misused where it does not apply, and for that reason many good looking inshape couples take offense to the term, automatically assuming that it applies to them. The sad truth is that if they do take offense to something so silly then chances are the term does apply. But that's just my opinion. - Retort: That's merely one of those tired politically perfected questions that can't be answered without a heads-you-win, tails-we-lose scanario occuring. If we ignore your statement, we are agreeing to it but if we reply to it we're proving it. Pathetic and predictable, really Jules. We would have expected better from you. By the way, is there a subliminal message being sent out here to anyone in particular?

Quote:
Originally Posted by prettylady
If anyone called me a barbie to my face I would be pissed, NOT because I am a drama queen, but how dare anyone make such an assumption about me with out meeting me.

J Quote:

And rightfully so.

I think that too many here are taking offense to a comment that was not directed at them. No one here has said, hey so and so you are a "Barbie" or a "Ken" and yet several people here have taken offense as if that has been the case. - Retort: Ditto.


Quote:
Originally Posted by SuandBud
We could say that fit people have more stamina (yer, right!) Firstly, when it comes to doing fit things (like running marathons) it's probably true. But secondly, when it comes to sex and passion and intimacy being "fit" is no advantage at all. It's desire and fun and humour and your word "passion" that counts in the bedroom olympics.

J Quote:

Very good point actually. - Retort: Don't kill yerslef praising our observation

J Quote:

And perhaps that is just why hoistsail's experience has shown that larger women are more passionate in bed and my experience has shown me that guys with really large dicks suck in bed. Those who may have been dissed because of their size my find it to their advantage to be more passionate (read: active) in bed... just as IMO guys with overly large penises seem to have the idea that because they have a large dick that is all they need (they have no idea how to use it or how to use any of the other tools they may have) - while a guy with an average or OMG even small dick has learned that he has to use more of his "tools" and has to make an effort to use them well, and perhaps he has come to that conclusion only through feeling inadequate in comparison to those larger dicks. So in reality what has happened is that over-compensation (in a way) has become a benefit.

Retort: So now we find you not only have a low opinion of fit people but you also think guys with big dicks are (in general) rubbish, too - guys with big dicks just wave them around a bit, don't they, and expect you to be grateful? Just as women with big boobs do or ladies with beautiful faces just lay there and say "Carry on screwing me while I just lie here dormant because you must be so grateful to be having sex with someone as beautiful as I am, at all". Grow up Julie. It won't have escaped you that fit and hung describes Su and Bud (well, the latter applying to Bud - LOL), so there are now TWO generalisations going about that makes us persona's-non-grata with the swinging community (or at least YOUR swinging community). Just where do you get off saying that a guy with a larger than average penis is rubbish in bed? - Duh, stupid old us...your (unverified) experiences.

When did we ever say bigger people were less skilled/passionate in bed? All we dared to say was that we are not generally attracted to bigger folk. Hands-up. It's a fair cop Guv. We plead guilty to liking what we like. Be it strawberry above vanilla ice cream, or football over soccer. You attack us in the mistaken belief that we take things said on the board as being applied to us personally. Get real, not until this latest post by youself did/would we ever have thought that. But, we do see boardmembers attacking people who dare keep themselves in shape and maybe even aspiring to the "Ken and Barbie" look (not that that is what we want, but if you do - god bless you for it is our philosophy to live and let live). We're not dogs (in any way shape or form) but you know, if we saw a dog being kicked, we'd hurry to its defense.

J Quote:

Several people here have stepped over the lines of decorum. It's fine to say what you think or feel but you should do so with a bit of tact. By no means do I think everyone should agree but eventually you just have to accept that you've said what you came to say and move on and stop swinging that bat. All you end up doing is pissing yourself off more and pissing off everyone around you and in the end making yourselves look really bad. Over what? The fact that someone doesn't agree with you?

J Quote:

Now I have said my piece - Retort: The rest of us can shut up, huh? and Once again I pull out my new favorite smilie... and I'll use both ... so you can stop beating whatever dead animal you are beating (be it a horse or an anteater).

J Quote:

Stop beating dead [horse]. - Retort: Beating a dead horse or resurecting a post? It's a subjective matter.

Finally. In view of this discussion you really should consider your position as a Moderator - whether you "own" the board or not.

[ANGEDKY(mr)]

Want some? ............ No really, take two of each and try it again in the A.M. !!!

[Chicup]

A vanilla female friend told me I put on weight a couple of days ago.

Made me think of this thread.

She's right, but interestingly I can identify my lack of motivation with us backing off on swinging with new couples (for a number of reasons).

I need a better reason to stay in shape (that I'm willing to work for) besides swinging.

(Searches for an appropriate smilley)
(Finds one that has no use he can think of and shall make it his own.)

[prettylady]

Originally Posted by Chicup

(Searches for an appropriate smilley)
(Finds one that has no use he can think of and shall make it his own.)

I like your choice.
Your friend,
Prettylady

[2jersey]

Originally Posted by SuAndBud

Wow, Julie! You may be "Owner/Admin" of the board but does that ipso facto qualify you to be a moderator?

Of course it does.

We are active members of several boards and we can state unequivocally that moderator bias is a universal issue. Biased intervention occurs on “just-for-fun” venues such as Swingers Board, and it is present, in varying degrees, on boards which are designed for intelligent debate on important topics.

This board has more of a nanny presence than most, but this is understandable in view of the high incidence of hit-and-run attacks by wacko trolls. The board membership seems to appreciate the heavy moderation, judging from the applause that moderators receive when they intervene in a thread and slap a wrist or two. The applause is not surprising given that many of the board regulars are here for polite socialization and are put off by contentious debate. On a board where many people aspire to have sex with one another, it is understandable that flirting and friendship takes priority over serious discussion.

When Julie senses tension in a particular thread, she frequently steps in with a hammer and uses her soapbox to vent some of her personal frustration with those who have dared to be different. She cannot be faulted for exposing her personal biases, we are each prone to such behavior – and it’s her board, after all. To her credit, her intervention helps preserve the culture which makes this board unique and attractive to a small niche of regulars – and an interesting diversion to others who are just passing through…

Okay, I have had my say. Now I will sit back and wait for the horsey cartoon…giddyup...

[Chicup]

Originally Posted by 2jersey

The applause is not surprising given that many of the board regulars are here for polite socialization and are put off by contentious debate. On a board where many people aspire to have sex with one another, it is understandable that flirting and friendship takes priority over serious discussion.

If I wanted a flirt board I'd have stayed on LL. I've avoided any link to our profile because I do not wish any bias one way or another based on it.

Its amusing on LL how the more attractive a couple is, the most outspoken they can be without anyone taking offense. You can tell very quickly how a thread would go based on who posts it. If a transexual posts, its flame bait from the start. Couples with bi males listed as bi will have more people willing to take exception (mind you the threads may have nothing to do with being bi etc). Then the pecking order seems to be ugly couples, 'mismached' couples (attractive wife ugly man), attractive couples, attractive couples with nudity in their profile, party organizers. In fact the biggest asshole there happens to run 'the beautiful party' which is one of those looks only based swingers parties, and as such he can get away with just about any post and only those on the lower rungs will even attempt to say something negative and they are then flamed away by people who want to kiss Mr. BP's ass.

If the swingers board ever gets that way, my time is done.

[charms123]

We are also not the Barbie and Ken often mentioned. We even state that in many of our profiles.. just to be safe.

We have been to many clubs where the more voluminous women have the guys lined up waiting… literally. They have a great personality and know how to use what they have. They dress nice, have nicely painted nails and are CLEAN and NEAT. That goes a long way. And these couples and single girls are really the hit of the party.

We were at a club once and there was a little click of the “beautiful people”. Do not get me wrong and I do not use that necessarily as a negative. But later than night, the “Hottest” of the group of women had two guys in a room. Both the guys were at the bar shortly after that and I overheard one say to the other “She was the worst I have been with in a long time. What an attitude.” You could have floored me with a feather.

So my point here somewhere is that take the looks with a grain of salt. The “bigger” women will probably still have fun into her 50’s +. Barbie, she will just be old!

Our nickel’s worth of opinion.

M&N

[intensity_too]

Originally Posted by bear_and_babe

So far I have kept my big mouth shut on this thread, until now. But I agree with ShellyM on this.

I am a larger woman, I know I have posted that before. But SuAndBud I would like to inform you about some of us "fat" people. I happen to have a "medical condition" that one of the side effects is being overweight. I have been fighting this condition for more then 25 years. I have PCOS. Even my new family Dr. did not know what this was. And like I told him, I will bet you that you eat more for breakfast then I eat all day. I have no appitite to speak of, if I could eat a salad every day for the rest of my life I would be happy. But due to low blood sugar, I can't do that. Bear gets worried about me because he thinks I don't eat enough. I do exercise, but due to my condition I don't loose weight. I would never wish this condition on anyone. I not only have to deal with everyone thinking I eat way too much, I also have to deal with a host of other side effects of this condition. I am telling you all this in the hopes that you might learn that not every fat person is that way because of what they eat or because they don't exercise. Not every fat person lives on McDonalds and candy. Not every fat person is fat by their own hand. Some of us were handed a raw deal with our genes. But I will agree that a lot of overweight people do it to themselves. Just not everyone.

As for swinging, I understand that not everyone will find me attractive, and that is ok. I don't find everyone I meet attractive either. To each his own.

Thank you so much babe!!!!!!!!! I too suffer from PCOS and the statement that fat people are fat by their choosing rubbed me in such a bad way I could not even post.

So, before you judge me because I am fat, ask me about my condidtion. Fat is the least of my worries.

[Chicup]

Originally Posted by intensity_too

Thank you so much babe!!!!!!!!! I too suffer from PCOS and the statement that fat people are fat by their choosing rubbed me in such a bad way I could not even post.

So, before you judge me because I am fat, ask me about my condidtion. Fat is the least of my worries.

People with insulin resistance gain weight more easily and have a harder time losing it.

And for women with PCOS, the more they gain, the worse their PCOS symptoms become.

But there's something of a chicken-and-the-egg situation here. Researchers aren't sure whether PCOS makes a woman more likely to gain weight, or if it's the weight gain that increases the likelihood of developing PCOS. One study last year showed that 32 percent of women with PCOS were obese, and another 24 percent were overweight, but not yet obese.

But whether PCOS is the instigating culprit or not, the chances are that they'll keep gaining, and if they do, that's going to make their PCOS condition worse.

.......

It's hard to deal with the underlying issue if you're not aware of it, and the failures at weight can be tremendously demoralizing.

But when patients learn how much improvement really is possible for all their symptoms, many earnestly apply themselves to the task of taking off the excess weight. Some doctors use medications to help manage their PCOS patients' blood sugar and insulin production, but I've often found that insulin resistance can be countered through dietary measures alone. That may not always be the case, however, and PCOS patients have to be evaluated with consideration for their other body chemistry issues.

But for PCOS patients who do make dietary and activity level adjustments and begin losing weight, there are usually many very immediate improvements. When symptoms start to resolve as their extra pounds gradually fall away, these are people with more to celebrate than most.

THROUGH THICK & THIN:

As with many illnesses, there is a clear connection between excess weight and the risk of more pronounced symptoms or even progression to more serious conditions. But with PCOS, doctors aren't sure if the condition is causing the weight problem or the other way around. But they do know that dropping excess weight inevitably leads to improvements.

http://newsblaze.com/story/200511080.../topstory.html

Best treatment is weight loss, the hormonal changes make it harder, but its still possible. Interesting article.

[bear_and_babe]

Intensity_too-

I am so sorry that you have this horrible disease. I know how hard it is when people give you the looks thinking if they would just stop eating they would lose weight. Unless you have this disease you really don't understand what our issues are.

[bear_and_babe]

Chicup-

Thank you so much for posting that article. Yes, I have read it, and have read almost everything else on PCOS. But until you walk in my shoes, or anyone else who had PCOS you really don't know what you are talking about. I have busted my ass trying to loose weight, and yes I do eat right, I have been following a diabetic diet for years. Saying that weight loss will help things is true, but with this insidious disease loosing weight is so much harder then it is for the normal person. Not only do I have to deal with the weight problem, I have had to deal with infertility, miscarriage after miscarriage (x6) and now the worst thing to happen, I have developed diabetes, do to no fault of my own. This damn disease is the cause of my problems. There is nothing I can do about it. So with all due respect, please stop trying to be an arm chair doctor and telling Poly Cystic women that the root of their problem would just go away if they lost weight.

[JustAskJulie]

Originally Posted by suandbud

Wow, Julie! You may be "Owner/Admin" of the board but does that ipso facto qualify you to be a moderator?

Yes actually it does. There was a time when I was the only mod on this site until it got so big and busy that it became impossible for one person to handle. Just as being an admin does pre-qualify me as a board-wide moderator, owning the site also pre-qualifies my right to stand on my soapbox and give my opinion.

Originally Posted by 2jersey

This board has more of a nanny presence than most, but this is understandable in view of the high incidence of hit-and-run attacks by wacko trolls. The board membership seems to appreciate the heavy moderation, judging from the applause that moderators receive when they intervene in a thread and slap a wrist or two. The applause is not surprising given that many of the board regulars are here for polite socialization and are put off by contentious debate. On a board where many people aspire to have sex with one another, it is understandable that flirting and friendship takes priority over serious discussion.

When Julie senses tension in a particular thread, she frequently steps in with a hammer and uses her soapbox to vent some of her personal frustration with those who have dared to be different. She cannot be faulted for exposing her personal biases, we are each prone to such behavior – and it’s her board, after all. To her credit, her intervention helps preserve the culture which makes this board unique and attractive to a small niche of regulars – and an interesting diversion to others who are just passing through…

Okay, I have had my say. Now I will sit back and wait for the horsey cartoon…giddyup...

Personally, I don't think that we moderate very heavy handed here and I'm fairly sure that if you asked most of the mods (if not most of the members) they'd say that it's not heavy enough.

1. We don't close threads because of disagreements.
2. We don't run around banning people for bad attitudes or disagreements (although I have been known to ask people to leave on occasion). In over 5 years I've banned less than 10 people for something other than spamming. In those rare cases that I did ban someone for causing problems it was after MUCH discussion, contemplation and often down right begging from other members.
3. We don't delete posts or threads because they happen to be a source of contention.

If this forum was ruled with a heavy hand I can think of at least a few people who would have been banned already this week.