Can you swing and be overweight?

[intuition897]

Both Mr. intuition and I have put on more weight than we're comfortable with over the past year or so, and to be honest, it's one of the reasons we're not swinging right now. I know. We have some self-image issues. I'm not in the BBW category, and I tend to carry weight really well. Even though I'm about 20 lbs heavier right now than I'd like to be, I still tend to look proportionate. Even so, we're uncomfortable with the way we look right now. We really enjoy it when we eat right and work out regularly, but life right now is not conducive to keeping up the standard of healthy living that we've grown accustomed to.

I'm sure we could swing right now if we wanted to; we're still attractive. But our greatest impediment seems to be our discomfort with ourselves. When you don't find yourself sexy, it's a turn-off to others. And vice versa.

[2jersey]

We may not be politically correct on this issue, but when it comes to physical encounters, we prefer relatively lean bodies, especially on women.

Originally Posted by intuition897

I'm sure we could swing right now if we wanted to; we're still attractive. But our greatest impediment seems to be our discomfort with ourselves. When you don't find yourself sexy, it's a turn-off to others. And vice versa.

Yes. There are overweight people who we regard as physically attractive. But, if a person dresses and behaves like they want to hide from the world, we are not likely to be physically attracted.

In fact, we would apply the same criteria to any person with average body proportions who exhibited a body dysmorphic disorder. If you want the room to be dark, and you want to keep your clothes on - you're probably not sexy in our minds.

[bear_and_babe]

Originally Posted by 2jersey

We may not be politically correct on this issue, but when it comes to physical encounters, we prefer relatively lean bodies, especially on women

You are right, you are not being politically correct, but who cares? You are attracted to who and what body type you are attracted to. As a BBW I understand that some people will not be attracted to me, but that is cool, there are enough people that are. There is no reason that anyone has to play with someone they don't find attractive. If big, skinny, short, tall, black, white, purple or whatever is not your cup of tea there is no reason to force yourself to go there.

[Chicup]

Originally Posted by intuition897

Both Mr. intuition and I have put on more weight than we're comfortable with over the past year or so, and to be honest, it's one of the reasons we're not swinging right now. I know. We have some self-image issues. I'm not in the BBW category, and I tend to carry weight really well. Even though I'm about 20 lbs heavier right now than I'd like to be, I still tend to look proportionate. Even so, we're uncomfortable with the way we look right now. We really enjoy it when we eat right and work out regularly, but life right now is not conducive to keeping up the standard of healthy living that we've grown accustomed to.

I'm sure we could swing right now if we wanted to; we're still attractive. But our greatest impediment seems to be our discomfort with ourselves. When you don't find yourself sexy, it's a turn-off to others. And vice versa.

We were in almost exactly this spot last year at this time. It seems everyone has a different definition of fat on this board, but to us, we were fat and unattractive, and thats all that matters.

Finding the energy to do the exercise can be hard, for the Mrs. its been a lot easier this year since she is at home, but lately for me the last thing I want to do after getting home from work is lift heavy things (and getting up at 5am to do it in the morning isn't very appealing either). That being said the weight part can still be taken care of without a whole lot of effort. Its all energy in vrs energy out. You might still not be eating as healthy as you should but eat less and the weight WILL come off.

Instead of my former usual 2 burgers and a coke from fast food places I'll do a grilled chicken and an iced tea from the same place. Cuts the calories in half. Subway may talk about being healthy but unless you are eating an all veggie without any mayo don't count on it. So instead of my usual 12 inch I'll do a 6". Amazingly I didn't starve and I dropped 4" off the waist to the point where some women I know told me 'You look good now, but don't lose any more weight or you will look too skinny'. One important thing is to count calories for your size, take what the sites say is healthy, and then take more off. The reason I say this is the 'diet' sites said I should be eating a minium of about 2400 calories a day to loose weight. When I worked out how much food that was I knew it would get me no where so I went down to 1800 a day. I had no negative side effects, was less tired, and managed to lose 15 lbs between August and October. Based on all my research into atkins and other diets, I've concluded the problem is no one really has a clue what 'good nutrition' really is, and no diets really take into account differences in individual physiology. Scales like the BMI are almost TOTALLY worthless for anyone who isn't in a coma. You need to play around, using the diets and numbers as a base, but not a bibel.

The last thing is to CONSTANTLY monitor your weight. Natural fluctuations are normal, but you soon get a feel for it and know when you gained a pound or two and should re-assess your eating habits. What most people do is they don't want to 'look' and by the time they do its up 10 lbs which seems a lot more demoralizing than 2 pounds.

This month I was up about 5lbs after a vacation and a couple of bad weeks prior. Just by watching what I ate for the last two weeks I've lost 3 of those pounds, and should be in line to lose the other two soon enough.

So in conclusion you CAN loose the weight if you want to, even on a busy schedule, it just takes a little research into what you are eating and a desire to see it through.

Now if someone can figure out a way to keep me motivated on the exercise end of it, let me know

[2jersey]

Originally Posted by Chicup

Finding the energy to do the exercise can be hard, for the Mrs. its been a lot easier this year since she is at home, but lately for me the last thing I want to do after getting home from work is lift heavy things (and getting up at 5am to do it in the morning isn't very appealing either). That being said the weight part can still be taken care of without a whole lot of effort. Its all energy in vrs energy out. You might still not be eating as healthy as you should but eat less and the weight WILL come off.

Very true. You could get 100%l of your calories out of a pizza box and a whiskey bottle, but you can still lose weight if you don't over consume.

Instead of my former usual 2 burgers and a coke from fast food places I'll do a grilled chicken and an iced tea from the same place. Cuts the calories in half. Subway may talk about being healthy but unless you are eating an all veggie without any mayo don't count on it. So instead of my usual 12 inch I'll do a 6". Amazingly I didn't starve and I dropped 4" off the waist to the point where some women I know told me 'You look good now, but don't lose any more weight or you will look too skinny'.

Establishing momentum is much harder than maintaining momentum. Sounds like you are off to a good start...

One important thing is to count calories for your size, take what the sites say is healthy, and then take more off. The reason I say this is the 'diet' sites said I should be eating a minium of about 2400 calories a day to loose weight. When I worked out how much food that was I knew it would get me no where so I went down to 1800 a day. I had no negative side effects, was less tired, and managed to lose 15 lbs between August and October. Based on all my research into atkins and other diets, I've concluded the problem is no one really has a clue what 'good nutrition' really is, and no diets really take into account differences in individual physiology. Scales like the BMI are almost TOTALLY worthless for anyone who isn't in a coma. You need to play around, using the diets and numbers as a base, but not a bibel.

We agree that personal physiology plays a role in determining optimum caloric intake. But, you did not mention a crucial factor - as one increases their lean body mass, their body burns additional calories. And the best way to increase lean body mass is to build muscle through strength/resistance training. When you cut calories without increasing your physical activity or muscle mass, you send your body into a preservation (starvation) mode and your metabolism actually slows - defeating the purpose of consuming fewer calories.

The last thing is to CONSTANTLY monitor your weight. Natural fluctuations are normal, but you soon get a feel for it and know when you gained a pound or two and should re-assess your eating habits. What most people do is they don't want to 'look' and by the time they do its up 10 lbs which seems a lot more demoralizing than 2 pounds.

Absolutely! Weigh yourself daily, and track the way your clothing fits. And take immediate action when things move in the wrong direction.

This month I was up about 5lbs after a vacation and a couple of bad weeks prior. Just by watching what I ate for the last two weeks I've lost 3 of those pounds, and should be in line to lose the other two soon enough.

Excellent!

So in conclusion you CAN loose the weight if you want to, even on a busy schedule, it just takes a little research into what you are eating and a desire to see it through.

Now if someone can figure out a way to keep me motivated on the exercise end of it, let me know

What has worked for us in the past: Devote an occasional vacation towards a stay at a fitness resort (we have been to Canyon Ranch in Tuscon a couple of times.) Hire a personal trainer at a local fitness center (having an appointment motivates you to show up, and work harder than you otherwise might). Invest in some home fitness equipment - we have dumbells and a treadmill in the master bathroom. Get in the habit of doing pushups and crunches at random times while at home. Start with 5-10 pushups, and concentrate on perfect form. Before you know it, you will be doing sets of 50 - and the added muslce mass will have boosted your metabolism significantly.

Be motivated by vanity, health, sex, whatever...it doesn't matter - just do it!

[Chicup]

Originally Posted by 2jersey

We agree that personal physiology plays a role in determining optimum caloric intake. But, you did not mention a crucial factor - as one increases their lean body mass, their body burns additional calories. And the best way to increase lean body mass is to build muscle through strength/resistance training. When you cut calories without increasing your physical activity or muscle mass, you send your body into a preservation (starvation) mode and your metabolism actually slows - defeating the purpose of consuming fewer calories.

True enough, and weight lifting has been a HUGE help to Mrs. Chicup. I think the key though for staying out of starvation mode if you are not doing the exercise is increasing how often you eat a day. The same total calories over 6 meals is better than 3.

What has worked for us in the past: Devote an occasional vacation towards a stay at a fitness resort (we have been to Canyon Ranch in Tuscon a couple of times.) Hire a personal trainer at a local fitness center (having an appointment motivates you to show up, and work harder than you otherwise might). Invest in some home fitness equipment - we have dumbells and a treadmill in the master bathroom. Get in the habit of doing pushups and crunches at random times while at home. Start with 5-10 pushups, and concentrate on perfect form. Before you know it, you will be doing sets of 50 - and the added muslce mass will have boosted your metabolism significantly.

Be motivated by vanity, health, sex, whatever...it doesn't matter - just do it!

My main motivator for exercise has always been sex. This has been true since I was a teen so as that need has been met my motivation goes down. I have a body type that can hold a lot of muscle if I were to use it, I just need to find that motivator. Swinging has helped, but once I got into 'swinging' shape my motivation waned again. Now if I were to be denied for the next six months I'm sure I could look like Mr. 2j I did tell the Mrs. that I'd be starting up again, which is good for her too since her normal lately is mon-friday, with me going again she will add sat to that.

Oh well I'm looking at my weightlifting gloves and I have those bowflex adjustable weights in the basement with a bench (and those are very nice weights btw) so I know what to do

[KajiKurai]

Originally Posted by Unregistered

I really want to get into this lifestyle with my boyfriend, but I am fat (5'11", 190 lbs.) He's bigger than me, but hey, he's a guy.

How do you feel about such a large woman trying to swing? Will I be ridiculed at parties? I feel sexy and confident, but god knows some people would vomit if they saw me naked! Is it rude for a fat woman to attend because of this?

My SO and I agree that you're not fat. Frankly your build sounds incredible. Your stature would definitely turn our heads and get our attention!

[bushwackerbama]

nothing wrong at all, just more to love!!!

[bushwackerbama]

just more to lve

[Dare2Share]

I'm so happy that some people stay model thin. *claps hands* Round of applause to you.

I happen to think that turning a thread that was written by an overweight woman into a fitness thread shows a lack of respect. Many women struggle with their weight (even those who are not overweight) and it feels like you are mocking them.

Just my point of view.

[Chicup]

Originally Posted by Dare2Share

I'm so happy that some people stay model thin. *claps hands* Round of applause to you.

I happen to think that turning a thread that was written by an overweight woman into a fitness thread shows a lack of respect. Many women struggle with their weight (even those who are not overweight) and it feels like you are mocking them.

Just my point of view.

This is a very old and now 'dead' thread. It was revived and a current member is unhappy with how they look, being we were there before I gave advice on how to change it based on personal experience. We have to work on our weight every day to maintain and it is hard, but it is also doable.

I refuse to walk on pins and needles around every thread that involves weight because some people are oversensitive.

If you can explain how some diet and exercise tips is ‘mocking’ I’d love to hear it.

[MoonLightKiss]

First things first...girl, 190 lbs and 5'11" I bet you are looking good and not overweight at all. Sometimes self image is the hardest to conquer. My advice, go, have fun, hold your head up high, carry yourself with pride, and watch the men flock to you. I know they will.

Secondly,

Originally Posted by Dare2Share

I'm so happy that some people stay model thin. *claps hands* Round of applause to you.

I happen to think that turning a thread that was written by an overweight woman into a fitness thread shows a lack of respect. Many women struggle with their weight (even those who are not overweight) and it feels like you are mocking them.

Just my point of view.

I don't think anyone here is trying to "mock" anyone. I do believe nearly all, if not everyone here replied with a similiar form of "its not fat, its attractive." Or perhaps I misread. Feel free to correct me if I did misread ALL those posts.

As far as bringing up fitness in an overweight thread, where better to address fitness. If we were all "model thin" fitness would not be something people did, because it would be unnecessary. I respectfully disagree. I believe that each and every person here addressed fitness in a way that was respectful and kind. I didn't think they were saying "you're fat, go on a diet, lose weight" I believe they were saying, "First, be happy with yourself. Noone is perfect, we aren't. However, If you are unhappy, then there are some things you can do to change it. Here are some pointers." It seemed like their comments were based on their concern for other people. They focused on advising the person to realize noone is perfect, be happy in yourself.

Again maybe I am wrong, but that's how I took it. Just my two cents worth though.

[MoonLightKiss]

Ok, just read Chiccup's post, and feeling a little sheepish. I would have sworn the date on the first post said 2006. Evidently I do misread But I still stand behind what I said earlier LOL...


Boy, I need to get my glasses/contacts checked.

[NewAndScared]

I know this is now a dead thread but I would like to put in my 2 cents. I dated a model from NY about 5 years ago. She was not famous but did have some pictures in a few of the major mags. She was by most standards physically perfect. I lived in Dallas at the time and would fly to NY every weekend to see her. After a few months I really started to get tired of her. First, sex was really boring. She was so into herself that her focus was always her. My wife is beautiful but after our child, no one is going to be banging our door down to put her in cosmo. My wife is the best sex I have ever had. She is not perfectly physically fit but she is VERY confident in bed. If she wants to do something to me or have something done to her she does it. If I would have spent the rest of my life with Evelyn, my sex life would have been miserable. All my friends could not understand how I could break up with someone like that. But I did, and now my life is amazing.

In short, confidence is the key. Yes Evelyn was hot but I would take 1hr with my wife any day over her.

[maidenwolf]

three words bbw==bodacious bedroom warriors lol..... never let weight get you down. being 5ft 5 and anywhere from 190 to 210 myself i have been called fat been called obese but one thing stands out.i never lack for playmates. as many have pointed out its all in how you carry yourself.everyones taste run different and that will never change....and god knows theres enough varietys out there for everyone to have their slice.and yes some do like the larger size and some don,t to each their own take care and relax and have fun