How do I tell my wife she's gaining weight?

[DBL D]

This has worked out great. Never underestimate a womans abiltiy to realize a problem, either yours or hers!

I still think a photo or two would look good from the archives in a few years!

Male D

[LikeMinds321]

Dave -

Wonderful to learn she has come to a decision and is motivated to help herself.

Thanks for letting us know.

LM

[northindycpl]

Originally Posted by dave110256

eating less and getting much more excercise......especially in the bedroom. I hope she will continue but I just wanted everyone to know that not saying anything was the right approach.

Dave, I think that is terrific news! I would like to tell you from my perspective this is where your work really begins. It is so important for you to be supportive to her consistantly and not frustrated with her if she slips.

I never had a weight problem until I had 3 kids in 5 years. I went from 10-24 back down, in fact up and down a lot. On women, weight is an evil, evil thing! I realized that I do eat sometimes to feel satisfied. And I overeat, by simply being in a constant rush. You mentioned in your post that your wife has been feeling a lot of stress with work and the upcomming holidays- this is the worst time of year for me too!

One thing that makes a huge difference to me, is when I feel sexy. No matter what 'weight' I am at, feeling sexy is key. It is so hard to feel sexy when the world is beating down your door, so to speak. The things that make a difference to me- maybe these will help you:

-being able to talk to Mr. Indy about what is bothering me, and know that he is listening to me. I mean really focused and listening. When I am complaining to him about work, or all of the things I have to do; it is so important that he listens and lends a hand to make me feel less overwhelmed. If he shares in all of my day-to-day tasks, then he and I have more time to play... and that makes me feel sexy!

-Going out for a nice dinner. Believe it or not, when we go out to dinner, just the 2 of us, it makes us slow down when we eat, and I tend to not over eat. it also makes me feel good to get out of the stress of the 'norm' share some special time with my man, and have a conversation without being interrupted by kids.

-In our marriage, Mr. Indy is pretty non-judgmental about my weight, I am entirely more sensitive to it than he is. Somehow knowing that, doesn't make it easier for me. What works for me is to flaunt new clothes to him, or new lingerie for him when I have maybe lost some weight, or had a body change of some kind. That makes me feel good. I reward myself for not only weightloss, but also weight maintenance. I have been lossing some weight recently, which prompted me to buy new panties. He really liked that. facelick

Like going through the holidays without gaining a pound is a big deal for me- ie I reward myself with a little something.

-My biggest challenge is always when I am under stress! I don't quite have it figured out- but I have found that instead of going to lunch with my girlfriends to talk about it, I now meet them for a pedicure- we can still talk, but not with food at hand. Or at night, when Mr. Indy is at work, I have started to read sex improvement books (like the godess series) which helps, instead of eating chips with a movie.

The most important thing to remember is to be there to offer support and encouragement to your wife. And enjoy those walks under the stars! Not only is she exercising, but think of all the quiet time you get to spend with her!

(as a side note- as if this post could be any longer- there is a great book called Aphrodite... it is part cookbook and part godess manual... it has very sexy reciepies in it for you to cook for her. They are healthy and very sensual. Most of them are quick so you can have them through the week. )

[Hellboy]

That's good. If you care about your partner, you can't NOT do anything, but approaching that subject has to be done with tremendous diplomacy. Oddly enough, my wife is much better shape than I am, but about six months ago, she was getting a little lumpy. On her own, she decided she had enough and started hitting the gym like a freak and in 6 months has gone from 160 to 128 and is fantastic shape. And the best thing is that it has increased her libido 1000% and the quality of our sex is at an alltime high. The moral to the story is, the best way to improve your love life is to improve your body. We can't all be magnificent specimens, and God knows I am not, but every little bit boosts self confidence and that+flat out increased flexibility and stamina and muscle control= awesome sex.

And in a few months when she is done breast feeding the baby, I'll get my titties back!!!