Over weight, sagging bodies, and swinging

[wolfmaiden]

How does one overcome these insecurities????? How do others feel when they are with others that have imperfect bodies???? What do you look for when swinging with others????

[Miss_Piggy]

A huge part of attractiveness is in the attitude. How do you improve your attitude? One thing that worked really well for me was just losing a few lbs. Even if losing 5 or 10 lbs still leaves you overweight it's amazing what that little bit will do to your self esteem. Get outside and get moving; develop a love for the things your body can do for you. Focus on the positive and you should find your attitude about your body will improve.

As for other peoples bodies, I have enough to worry about with my own body to bother worrying about someone elses. I'm much more concerned with personality.

[CB_n_Red]

Dito to what Miss Piggy said!

I've been making that extra bit of effort over my weight in the course of the last year or so and it's done wonders for my self-confidence even though I'm still about 15 lb above my ideal weight.

When looking at others though, I'm looking much more at the whole person than individual "bits". After all, we tend to meet people similar in age to ourselves (late 40's). It's not easy getting to that age without a pile of imperfections!

CB

[acuriouslady]

What about people who are a lot over weight? Are they accepted in this life style?

[RMRx2]

Originally Posted by wolfmaiden

How does one overcome these insecurities????? How do others feel when they are with others that have imperfect bodies???? What do you look for when swinging with others????

Mrs RmRx2 and I fall in that category. In fact married this summer and went to Desires Resort for the honeymoon. Even though we were fairly comfortable, Desires was another matter, so diet we did! However, like with most things, we got to Desires, spent about an hour there, before we decided that WE were just as normal as the majority!, Off came the clothes and didn't go back on til we left for our flight back. As a matter of fact, most of the clothes we took went right from the suitcase back inot drawers and on hangers.

There are those that are flawless, or may think they are. But most of us are just normal,,,,,,,,,,with some points better than others.

mr rmrx2

[CB_n_Red]

Originally Posted by acuriouslady

What about people who are a lot over weight? Are they accepted in this life style?

Oh yes! You'll find people of all shapes and sizes in the lifestyle! It certainly isn't just about "the beautiful people". Far from it.

CB

[Bigun]

I personally found the fact of knowing other people would see me completely naked was a good motivation to hit the gym on a regular basis. Because of that I dropped approximately 20 lbs.... and still dropping. I plan on losing another 20 to 30 lbs and I'll be where I wanna be.

[bear_and_babe]

Originally Posted by acuriouslady

What about people who are a lot over weight? Are they accepted in this life style?

I am a BBW, and I have never had a lack of swing partners. When we first started talking about swinging, I was very worried that men would take 1 look at me and keep going. But I found that a lot of men like BBW's. Attitude has a lot to do with it. If you feel sexy, then others will see that in your attitude and will be attracted to that.

As for how others look - I will always be attracted to someone who has a nice smile and looks like they are having fun. Looks are really not important to me. How someone acts and carries themselves is more attractive to me.

[JustAskJulie]

Originally Posted by Miss_Piggy

A huge part of attractiveness is in the attitude. How do you improve your attitude? One thing that worked really well for me was just losing a few lbs. Even if losing 5 or 10 lbs still leaves you overweight it's amazing what that little bit will do to your self esteem. Get outside and get moving; develop a love for the things your body can do for you. Focus on the positive and you should find your attitude about your body will improve.

You are so right there, Miss Piggy. I know for me that just getting out and exercising regularly really goes a long way towards helping my attitude towards myself and seeing that I'm doing SOMETHING makes me feel good.

That works with other people as well. It's hard to notice someone's imperfections when you are caught up in their personality. And when it's obvious that someone is happy and feels good it is very infectious.

[MysticalStorm]

being and overweight woman myself at 5ft3in and 195 pounds I must admit I felt the same insecurties. Although I have not had my first incounter yet I have seen some pitures of some of some other swingers and I felt better realizing they are not all barbie dolls. In fact like mention above in some pitures you could tell by the smile or look on there face what kind of attitude people had. I enjoyed the ones with a laughing type smile that appeared to be easy to get along with and alot of personality. That was more sexsy to me and attrative to me than a Barbie with a stuck up or better than I am look. We each are attracted to certain typs of personailties. I think personality goes alot further than body type any day of the week. Sincerely MysticalStorm

[lcjtsd]

The Mrs. has had four kids and you women know what that usually means. She is planning on a tummy tuck and breast reduction in the near future.

In the meantime, the guys we have played with (some Gym Rats, some Average) all were hard as a rock just as soon as the fun was starting. We have found that your attitude goes a long way to overcome any flaws that we may have.

Remember this, most people are average.

[JKBertha]

Oh wow, see, I've dealt with this too. However, it wasn't an issue until for me until my husband and I started investigating this lifestyle.

See, since I've had kids, I blew up.....and I know it's my fault. However, I have never felt sexier than I do now. I think being sexy is something that we just show through our attitude, our dress, etc. I really do feel sexy sometimes

My road blocks have been recently through going to Swing socials. I was like, "Oh my gosh" cause there were so many perfect people. I definitely felt intimidated. Thus, I didn't appraoch or mingle with any of them.

I think I, and maybe you, need to learn to be happy with who we are....and ofcourse work to be the best we can. I'm glad this issue has motivated others....it hasn't motivated me. I want to be motivated by "what's healthy" and what's best for me...and nobody else.

Best luck

[fun_pairTX]

In most crowds it is a non-issue. People are what they are and we have found that swingers are much more accepting as a group that the general public. Personally a lady with a few extra pounds is much more attractive that one that is skinny skinny. Calista Flockhart will never have to worry about either Mrs Fun or myself stalking her, Kate Moss is safe too.

[DBStPete]

Lots of good responses.

We have found that it depends on the situation. There are definitely parts of the lifestyle where folks that are on the low side of average in appearance, especially as regards being overweight, just aren't going to get much action. Where we saw this most was clubs and hotel parties.

I think it's a fact that when you see swingers interacting in large groups, like at a social dance or a convention, people tend to pair off by appearance "grade". Yes, I know we never talk about this, but it's true. We all did it in high school, and we still do.

Is this a generalization and are there plenty of exceptions? You bet. But I think it's true.

On the other hand, there are plenty of guys who like BBW - and lots of definitions of where "big" and "beautiful" start and stop. I think everyone who is realistic and puts in some effort can find some folks to party with. Whether some particular folks of your choice will feel the same way about you is another matter.

So, is there some discrimination? Sure, same as anywhere. Are there folks who will like you anyway? You bet.

DBStPete/D

[Mike and Jan]

It's attitude ladies! No doupt about it. And it's your sexuality that makes you so appealing to us men! You ladies have such a great advantage over vannila women. I'll take age, sags, and even some extra pounds anyday over a beautful young prude! So flirt, tease, and feel comfortable about yourselves..., and know you could easily steal that skinny young vanilla's husband. And then, he'd finally know what satisfaction really is. Rich