Not attracted to most swinger men

[WesternSwing]

Originally Posted by Mr&Mrs-naughty

The men looking like trolls that just crawled out from under a bridge has more to do with it.

I can see this. There have been more than one guy that I don't want to see doing my wife, much less her wanting to do him. eew.

Mr. WS

[fraja]

Heyyyy...we met a couple just for a get to know you dinner and time afterward and we really clicked with the couple...I was attracted to both of them in all ways....amazing!!!

[DBL D]

AHHHHH a subject we has talked about all weekend.
We started talking about the lifestyle about a year ago and have only been playing for about 8 mo. or so. I have found it hard to find couples we are on the same page with. He said he would f--- anything (not ture) so it puts me in the drivers seat to say no if I don't feel attracted to the male.
I have been the one saying NO to couples after seeing pictures and some chatting. It's hard enought to meet people you both are turned on by. Now
Male-D having a hard time with me driving the car with caution.
Is it wrong to NOT meet with couples or maybe even meet and play and have me say NO anyway?

Don't get me wrong I love seeing him turned on by some gal, but I wanna be turned on too.
We have been with a few couples that I have had fun with but NO sex pull for another round. And others we can't get enought of. That is why I am gun shy. Take one for the team (did it)don't wanna do it again but in this lifestyle how can you help it? One of you will always be more turned on than the other. I do expect that happens more often than you may think.

Not really sure what to do anymore...........Keep my mouth shut might help.

My first post
Fem-D

[biblonde]

Fem D.....Dont feel bad about saying no to a couple you arent interested in. We have played with a couple and after the fact I said NOPE NOT AGAIN! Dont do anything you dont want to do. We both give each other veto power...if he doesnt like he says no...before,during, or after meeting or even playing. I have the same veto power. Neither of us want the other taking one for the team. And if another couple tells us NO we move on...we dont take it hard..we just say "oh well" and look for another. We have learned taking one for the team just causes hard feelings! so go with your instinct...

my 2 cents for the day!

[DBL D]

What a mess my last post was. I hope you understood what I was trying to say.

For the record.................Hubby would never ask or expect me to take one for the team. I was just thinking maybe I need to change the way I think about the lifestyle and do as he has said many times "RELAX Its just SEX".
I can only hope with time I will relax.

Fem-D

[biblonde]

Yes I understand what you were saying but also DONT settle. It isnt worth it. And as for relaxing sometimes it takes time. Dont worry. Do what you feel comfy with. There is alot that goes through your mind in this lifestyle. Just make sure you do alot of talking and listening...it works out in the end!

my 2 cents for the day!

[2New2it]

We have never tried finding another couple because of the need to find four compatible people, so we limited our search to a male for a threesome. When we first started, my wife was very interested in other men and it was a challenge and an ego builder to see if she could seduce them. Once she determined that she still had it, she began to lose interest in most men. She said they just didn't turn her on.

She did develop a strong affection for one of the younger guys we played with and she has continued seeing him for the past 7 years. She has also expressed lustful interest in a couple of friends, but they don't know she would enjoy take them to bed and they are both in situations that will probably prevent it from ever happening.

To make a long story short, I believe there is a distinct difference in the carnal desires of men and women. Men tend to think of sex as nothing more than entertainment, while women tend to prefer feeling a certain amount of affection for a person before joining them in bed. I would bet that some of the men that were turn-offs in a photo or in a first meeting would become desireable if they became friends first.

[littlebit54]

Originally Posted by 2New2it

We have never tried finding another couple because of the need to find four compatible people, so we limited our search to a male for a threesome. When we first started, my wife was very interested in other men and it was a challenge and an ego builder to see if she could seduce them. Once she determined that she still had it, she began to lose interest in most men. She said they just didn't turn her on.

She did develop a strong affection for one of the younger guys we played with and she has continued seeing him for the past 7 years. She has also expressed lustful interest in a couple of friends, but they don't know she would enjoy take them to bed and they are both in situations that will probably prevent it from ever happening.

To make a long story short, I believe there is a distinct difference in the carnal desires of men and women. Men tend to think of sex as nothing more than entertainment, while women tend to prefer feeling a certain amount of affection for a person before joining them in bed. I would bet that some of the men that were turn-offs in a photo or in a first meeting would become desireable if they became friends first.

I agree with "almost" everything you have said in this post. I especially agree with two things though and they are: one, how sexually stimulating is the act of seduction and it's definitely an ego builder. Some men are a whole lot more like women in that area then most men like to think.

I whole-heartedly agree with needing to feel a degree of affection for a man, with whom i plan to be intimate, as well. Being friends with a man gives a dimension that only adds flame to the fires of passion. I'm sure you're right about the reasons you're giving for a reluctance on your wife's side to play with certain men.

But, don't count too hard on the idea that men who were turn-offs (for any reason) could become friends with benefits, cause looks and personality do count in the upper two thirds of what it takes to make a woman want a man bad enough to "bed him" (for me anyway).

Take your time, find the right couple/person, it will be worth the search; i'm more than certain; and perhaps if you were more involved in the action, that would get your wife more erotically stimulated again, too...What do you think?

littlebit54