Why do so many men let themselves go?

[lovebj]

ok guys . let me just say when we are looking for a couple let me tell you the women look fantastic of any age but when you see the male i just want to run... i mean come on if your woman looks good big or small figure take care of yourself .. this is why my husband and i get inot the fights. because we like the female but show me the man and i get i have told him i will not take one for the team Surrender . i don't think so. i mean i am not looking for no Bradd Pitt. but some one that takes care alittle.

[agjp2003]

Maybe your standards are a bit high. See I think women get very attractive as they begin to age, where as us men trend to forget about the little things we once worried about. For myself, yes I take care of myself but the battle over keeping the weight off has over taken me. Maybe its the late night dinner just before I go to sleep, or the eat and run diets. Who knows, but I do make sure I as clean as can be, look groomed and smell great.
Just my 2 cent worth!

[CB_n_Red]

Hey! If I can lose 16kg in 7 months at my age....

That's about 35 pounds for the unmetricated

Just got to tackle the rest of me now!

CB

[artboy]

We have the same problem....wife baitng is the top of our pet peeves....visual physical atttraction is our first step in setting up any kind of meeting. I think my wife and I are decent looking... she is much more attractive than I, but "I aint Fugly either"..heheheheh. We both are fit, not hardbodies but in nice shape...and finding an attractive woman is never a problem...but my wife is the same way...she WILL never take one for the team..nor do I EVER expect her to do so. So to all the dudes who..lets say..forget to clip the ear/nose hairs... cant pass up that EXTRA slice of ?????....whatever???, and who don't tend themselves in a way that (WE) see fit...we have no problem with ya....we just move on to the next couple. Sometimes there is a huge connection I sense with the female half...but the male walks in the room and it fizzles like a limp dick. Before I get bashed...remember this is OUR preference, and I am only speaking for myself and thankfully my wife!

[WesternSwing]

Wow, Lovebj... I feel a bit... I don't know... Wounded? I know exactly what you are saying because we look at some men and that is the off switch for us, too. But, damn, we just say it to eachother. If I made a generalized comment like that publically about women I'd be flamed. :slam" Ouch.

Not all men are like that. We have found plenty of couples we are attracted to, and just as many we aren't. And at least half of those are because we weren't atttracted to the female.

Mr. WS

[JustAskJulie]

I think maybe you are over-generalizing a bit.... or maybe it goes back to the old stereotype of having gorgeous women and the men being .... well... Woody Allen? It does often seem that couples are miss-matched.

So maybe if it seems like you always find couples where the woman is attractive and the man is not (to you) then YOU should start looking for couples where the man is attractive and see what happens the other direction.

Look for the male half first .... either you'll find that the opposite holds true and you start finding the less than desirable (to you) women.... or you will finally find some couples you can agree on.

[BobTrent]

Mife wife Truday and I try to maintain ourselves in excellent physical condition. This in part because we can physically enjoy each other, and by extension others, during pleasurable activies. Aside from the health benefits we both derive from staying healthy and in top physical condition, we also enjoy self-esteem, self-respect, and the admirations of others, especially those who are like-minded vis-a-vis physical appearances.

We do not, and will not, sit in judgment of others who do not share our enthusiasm for "hard bodies"; however, our preference for those type of people is usually somewhat diminished, which is unfortunate because we are both certain that they are probably very nice people otherwise.

In closing, I would like to mention that physically fit peple are more inclined to enjoy sex and related activities for many reasons: blood flow is conducive to greater enjoyment; high-endurance for physical exertion prolongs the pleasure; and, in the male, a higher level of testosterone enhances performance.

Happy Swinging,

Bob T. & Trudy T.

[EvilMJ]

It makes me sad that people can base other's worth on their physical apperance. People automatically assume that because you don't have a perfect body that somehow you are not taking care of yourself, don't eat properly or are unfit. I have had a weight problem all my life and I can tell you honestly (and after much go between with my doctor) that genetics have dealt me a raw deal. My eating habits are very healty, I am quite active and care strongly about my appearnce, however I find it EXTREMLY difficutlt to lose weight. I have had people look down at me in the past when I was heavier and they made me feel like I was somehow beneath them.

Sorry about my little soapbox .

I can appreciate that physical first impressions are important but sometimes you have to take the time to appreciate someone's inner beauty and personality. I have said it before, I can meet the most attractive man in the world, but if after talking to him for any lenght of time and find out he is complete ass, then any sexual attraction I had will be gone. Conversly, a man who is not gorgeous can become more attractive to me if their personality is good.

I think everyone's points in this thread are vaild and as others have said, this is just my own opinion.

[WesternSwing]

Originally Posted by BobTrent

Mife wife Truday and I try to maintain ourselves in excellent physical condition. This in part because we can physically enjoy each other, and by extension others, during pleasurable activies. Aside from the health benefits we both derive from staying healthy and in top physical condition, we also enjoy self-esteem, self-respect, and the admirations of others, especially those who are like-minded vis-a-vis physical appearances.

We do not, and will not, sit in judgment of others who do not share our enthusiasm for "hard bodies"; however, our preference for those type of people is usually somewhat diminished, which is unfortunate because we are both certain that they are probably very nice people otherwise.

Yes we are. What kind of comment is that? "Probably very nice people otherwise"? Is not being "physically fit" akin to having an ugly personality? It sounds like you've never talked with a person who is packing a couple extra pounds, but you are pretty sure they are good people, other than being what you'd consider fat.

It's okay to prefer a certain body type, everybody does have a preference. But this comment should have been better thought out before you posted it. I know what you are trying to say (I think), but it comes across wrong to those (or at least me) that do not share your view of Barbie and Ken...

Originally Posted by BobTrent

In closing, I would like to mention that physically fit peple are more inclined to enjoy sex and related activities for many reasons: blood flow is conducive to greater enjoyment; high-endurance for physical exertion prolongs the pleasure; and, in the male, a higher level of testosterone enhances performance.

You think? So since I don't work out everyday I don't enjoy sex as much as you? I've HAD boring sex with uber-fit women. I'll buy the truth behind it being healthier to have better blood flow, higher endurance, yadda, yadda, yadda. But that it makes for better sex? I guess if your idea of sex is banging away like a porn star, then it does. If your idea of sex goes beyond that shallow view of what sex is, then enjoyment is based on many more things than just physical appearance and "endurance".

Maybe I'm in "a mood" this morning, but if I didn't laugh at this I'd be offended.

Mr. WS

[Highway Sexy]

I agree with you loveBJ, you got to look marketable meaning desireable to the opposite sex otherwise there is no go with the couple as a whole. I'm a male who happens to go to the gym just about everyday, I go there mainly for my health, for my wife and love ones and the rest as well. It pisses me off when I see profiles of couples with only photos of the sexy female only and what about the male? No where to be found and why, why, why? This is not fair to the ladies! So guys shape up and show your staff. Otherwise don't bother.

[mixedcouple3426]

I've come to realize over the years that there are exceptions to almost every rule.When I was younger I used to play alot of basketball and for the most part,if we saw someone come on the court that looked out of shape we would usually put our slowest guy on him.9/10 times it was a formula that would work but theres always that 1 who will surprise you and make you look stupid.I have learned the hard way to never judge a book by it's cover.Some of my past gf's weren't always the best looking and I often heard by other women "why are you with her,you're a good looking guy who can do better".Sometimes charisma ,attitude and personality can far exceed a persons' exterior looks.We all have our preferences but if it really came down to it,I would rather be with someone average or below in the looks dept if they can make me laugh and smile rather than a drop dead goregous robot with no personality or sense of humor.

I think Julie's suggestion would work out best for you but sometimes giving people the benefit of the doubt by talking to them can really pay off.

[inbeachcouple]

Usually, when we're at a club, I let her point out the couples that SHE's interested in first, then I will pick the ones out of that couple that I like, then it's back to her for the final decision. Neither one of us will take one for the team, but since we feel it's harder to find a couple with a male that she likes, it's easier and better in the end for her to pick 2 out of the 3 'rounds'.

[Pepper & Drew]

Originally Posted by WesternSwing

You think? So since I don't work out everyday I don't enjoy sex as much as you? I've HAD boring sex with uber-fit women. I'll buy the truth behind it being healthier to have better blood flow, higher endurance, yadda, yadda, yadda. But that it makes for better sex? I guess if your idea of sex is banging away like a porn star, then it does. If your idea of sex goes beyond that shallow view of what sex is, then enjoyment is based on many more things than just physical appearance and "endurance".
Mr. WS

What I think Bobtrent was saying is that the person who's more fit will have better sex. Case in point: Drew got some bad news after getting a physical and decided to start going to the gym. Now, he has a lot more stamina (yippee for me!) and generally feels more like the hottie that I think he is. It's not so much about being a hardbody, it's more about being healthier and in better shape and how you feel about yourself.

At the risk of being flamethrow , I do think that there are a lot of men that are with women that are considerably better looking than they are. How many old men in hollywood are with young, beautiful wives or girlfriends(Katherine Zeta Jones, Calista Flockheart, Laura Flynn Boyle, and the ultimate, Anna Nicole Smith)? Not so many old women with young men. It's the same in real life and in the lifestyle. We haven't had a really hard time finding couples that we both find attractive, but we have run quite a few where the scale tips far to the woman's side.