What are you physically attracted to?

[bborst]

...in terms of attraction and excitement ina swinging relationship, especially with that other the new person? Women, what kind of guy is it you look for? Are there certain traits, personalities, sizes you seek in the other person? Guys, what is it you look for in the other female? Do you go in seeking someone of a specific race, size, or body type?

Ideally, I like women of most sizes. I'm not partial to obese women or stick women personally. I like them with a little meat on their bones, I am a breast man but I really like brunettes. I've been interested in Asain females as of late but I realize that in this lifestyle you kinda' get what's coming your way. Sorry if this sounds odd or rude to anyone. I'm just curious if anyone wants to share what kind of person it is they have in mind for their fantasy?

[Elusive BiFem]

I think we all have a particular type of person that we are attracted to and those that don't fall into that criteria are automatically dismissed with little thought. Go stroll through the mall some Sunday afternoon and then think about the number of people you passed and the number that you actually recall passing. See what I mean? We all have different criteria for what we find attractive and what we don't. Ideally, the tall, dark handsome...but reality is entirely different. And...it isn't just physical attraction. There is the mental attraction, too? Are these people that I can talk to? Laugh with? Do we have some common interests? Do we have some "uncommon" interests but things I might find enjoyable or at least be willing to learn more about? Are they clean and neat in appearance?

I'm not certain this is answering your question, but I'd like to encourage you to simply look for people that you would find attractive if swinging wasn't the end goal. You will most likely answer your own question at that time.

- EBF

[Alura]

I'd go for Tana on "The Practice" with no other requirements. I reckon she ain't likely to find her way into my bed, so I'll settle for a woman who can make me laugh and who makes sense when she talks. Talk, she must.

Mr. Alura

[Spoomonkey]

I like uniqueness. I know that is vague, but while I have a definite preference for brunettes (I liked 'em so much, I went out and got me one to keep!), I really enjoy women... Period...

I really don't like women who don't take care of themselves. But, other than that, I'd say that I have a fairly generous strike zone.

What intrigues me about a woman is first and foremost assertive eyes. I like someone who looks like we aren't going to enter a play room and end up negotiating an arms agreement. Some women just have this look about them that tells you that once the door is closed, you are going to be lucky to come out alive - and I like that a lot. They know they are special and they are able to prove it.

On the flip side - I really don't care for women who think that they are prettier than I do. I mean - women are supposed to feel sexy, beautiful and desirable. I like that kind of mature confidence. But I don't like it when a woman obviously thinks she's "Pretty". I know I could be saying this wrong, but I don't mean that healthy, sexy confidence - but that "I'm so pretty" mentality that dumb chicks have... I don't like that...

Spoomonkey

[Island guy]

I look for a woman with sex appeal. I agree with Spoomonkey that she needs to be someone who takes care of herself. Race and hair color are irrelevant. She has to have a sense of humour, interesting conversation, confidence and a passion for life (as well as sex.) Most importantly she needs to like both my wife and me, and my wife has to be attracted to her too. We also like people who are spiritual (not to be confused with religious.)

[Island guy]

I also forgot to mention that I like a girl with a nice butt.

[OhioCouple]

I would have to say that I look for someone that I can feel comfortable with. Intelectual, caring and not shallow. (Shallow people are so easy to spot, however they don't seem to know it...:rollseyes .)

Certainly there are those that are my 'eye candy', but quite often I've found that there is no way we would be compatible at all. Not in any realtionship, swinging or otherwise. Therefore I'll look (and drool... ) ...but unless you have more going for you than my ideal physical attribute adoration, then you are an auto-strike out.

[ALilOEverything]

Well I'm going to be vague too but for me to be attractive to a man he has to be masculine and to be attracted to a woman she has to be feminine. Example, I never understood a woman being a lesbian and going for butch women who look more like men, I would think they would want the feminine woman. Maybe someone could enlighten me on that? I prefer a woman to look and act completely feminine, that doesn't mean she needs to be barbie (or he need to be ken), just that she's feminine. How a person carries themselves is important too, I prefer people who are confident and outgoing and I can usually pick up on that right away. But after that if they can't carry on a decent conversation then all the attraction will be lost. I've also found that people who I wasn't attracted to initially becomes very attractive to me after getting to know them. There's something about intelligent free thinking people that makes me want to get in their pants

[soflafun]

why are is everybody so tolerant and politically correct? are the Bushies monitoring this site?
I don’t like overweight women, I don’t like women of limited hygiene, she must have a somewhat attractive face or well applied make-up. The feet are a big deal, if she’s wearing open toe shoes the nails should be painted and the shoes should be very sexy. Hey, it’s a sexual encounter that we are after, why would I need to carry long intelligent conversations with someone that I do not have to live with. I know I sound like a Neanderthal to the women but this are facts. My wife is all about looks too. She’ll approach you if she finds you sexy and will spurn you if she doesn’t. Am I on the wrong site?

[Alura]

I wouldn't say everyone is "tolerant and politically correct," Soflafun. Most just have differing opinions. That's not to say they're right and you're wrong, just the ideas of "what's important" differ. There are folks who agree with you. Others don't.

In most cases, not all, it takes years and maturity to develop a relationship that can embrace swinging. That's why so many swingers are older and, therefore, no longer look like Barbie and Ken. There are exceptions to that as well, a fact that was driven home to me at a recent Meet Up! in Indianapolis.

You have every right to maintain your standards, and should.

Mr. Alura

[HotCoupleGnS]

Hubby & I look people that are an all around good package. We people that look good, (not Ken & Barbie) take care of themselves, have a good personality & can carry on a conversation. WE generally look for people that have some of the same interests as we do.

[TNT]

Originally Posted by soflafun

Am I on the wrong site?

No your not on the wrong site...what you have read is people answering the question as to what they look for in a play partner. Everyone looks for different things. Some people are more into the physical appearance, while others are more into the personality and/or overall package of a person. Neither is right or wrong, it's just a person's preference.

That's the great thing about this site...we're all different and here we get to express those differences.

Teresa

[Alura]

Just a thought not directed at anyone's post: We've never met a play couple who did not practice good hygiene. Are we just lucky or are there people who go directly from shoeing horses and branding cattle to the swing club, without a dip in the water trough?


Mr. Alura

For a lady she has to be soft. To me soft is feminine. I am not talking obese. She has to be pretty much HWP. But a woman with a hard body is a turn off for me. What Mrs naughty likes in a man is a nice smile. If he doesnt have one it is almost always a deal breaker. By nice smile I mean he takes care of his teeth. Also he has to be able to carry on a conversation that is not just about sex and doesnt just talk about himself.

What it really boils down to though is we look for someone we are at least semi-attracted to phsicaly who can relate to the same things in life we do.

Looks are important for first impressions but in the end personality goes a lot further than looks.

[LikeMinds321]

It has only been since deciding to swing and beginning our search for playmates, that I have had to think--with any seriousness--about what type of man is attractive to me.

I search through three swing sites; I feel like I'm catalogue shopping in a way, it feels very weird.

I require pictures because looks are important to me. I get a feel for a man by the expression on his face. Through a picture I can see if he's clean or grungy. (I have no interest in knowing what a guys cock looks like ahead of time.) I like a man who looks approachable--his smile is sooo important to me. He needs to be well-groomed. He can have long hair or be bald, he can be about any height or build as long as it all works well together. If he looks too physically perfect I'm intimidated, although that feeling disappears in an instant once I see he isn't arrogant and shows an interest in me. That's the physical part.

Now for the personality. A man's got to be able to keep me smiling. I love a funny guy. Not forced funny, natural funny. I like spontaneous men who are comfortable with themselves and genuine. Also well-mannerd, witty, intelligent, open-minded, and able to carry a conversation. I imagine--when I finally swing--I'll have my most fun with guys who are a bit off the wall. Remember Bulldog on Frasier? I could have a blast with that guy. Never in a million years would I marry a guy like that, but to play with he'd be great!

LM