Men, do you prefer shy or outgoing women?

[biblonde]

Okay...EBF comment about me saying what is on my mind got me thinking....and she is right..I am very outgoing, love flirting and teasing and when need be will tell ya like it is without a second thought. When we are out on a "date" I like to keep the conversation going and flirt and tease everyone present to make it fun. BUT...what we have found is soooooo many women out there are so shy and quiet that we find them boring. Famous last words we always here is "My wife is real shy at first but once she knows you she gets very outgoing"...usually with this comment we find that the men seem to be very outgoing but the women act as though they are bored the whole time and dont talk much and are very reserved. We usually get a half ass hug from her and the guys is all huggy kissey with me when we say goodbye..We usually leave these dates saying....NOPE!! She acts as fun as a rock!! to only get home and get an email of how much fun THEY had and how they cant wait to set up a "playdate" soon. I feel bad telling them sorry we arent interested but after spending hours of no sign of interest from the ladies, i dont see taking more time being bored while naked.

So now to the question....what kinda woman or man for that matter gets your interest? Do you like open outgoing women or the shyer quieter type? And are you shy or outgoing??

With us, I am real outgoing( what a shock...LOL) and the hubby is quieter but loves flirting and can get wild. we like it when both are very flirtatious and outgoing. I get bored if i dont get even a clue that they have an interest in taking it a step forward. I do exspect them to be within reason though and in public know how to act like adults and not horny teenagers (yup have meet the ones that think they need to make out every 5 sec. to prove they love each other!). I love it when the women are as bold and daring as I am and want (or at least act like they do) to go have a good time!

just wondering since we seem to meet more shy women then wild outgoing ones.

[Spoomonkey]

I am the shy one in the couple. Mrs Spoomonkey is a chatter box. I type, she talks... So - guess who the real dork in the household is...

We tend to meet really chatty people mostly - even off of ad sites. Not sure why, but I think Mrs Spoo's personality makes people comfortable. Or maybe I'm just really, really hot... (I'm going to pretend that is the right answer )

If we had a date like you described, I guess we'd have to do the same thing. No thanks. Gotta stimulate the personality before you stimulate the naughty bits.

Spoomonkey

[jcbicouple]

We aren't either of those. When you say "outgoing" we picture someone chatty and bubbly. Which we aren't. We can hold a conversation, and like to have a good time, but in general aren't what we picture as outgoing.
We are a far cry from shy. We often don't know how to approach others in a club or bar, but it's not because we are shy. Just not real social in general.
The people we meet tend to fall into all catagories, but we never play with anyone that doesn't appear to be certain in their decision. Shy/reserved is ok, but scared or uncertain is not.
We do tend to hang on each other a lot and are always kissing, touching, etc. but we do that at home too. We aren't as open as most people when it comes to others hugging us "hello" or "goodbye" as we are also generally not the touchy feely type of people with anyone except each other (sex being the exception lol).

[Highway Sexy]

We are both shy and I believe is because we both are introverts. Nevertheless we have been going to this off-premise club for a couple years on a monthly basis and have not been able to connect with any couples. Yet we have a great time and dancing is one of our favorites. It seems that people at this club gather in groups and that it doesn't help our shyness. We are not the type to approach strangers in the night but are glad when outgoing people like yourselves approach us. I think we have lost all hope of ever meeting any couples at this club that is why now we go to non swingers club and still have a great time because we love to dance. I know this guy at work he is very outgoing and in a flash he would make friends with you, which for me it would take a great effort. Such is life. The shy and the outgoing.

[biblonde]

jcbicouple ...i dont mind the kissing and hugging we do it to but when you are in a resturaunt filled with kids i think it should be kept at a minimum. My hubby and I are very huggy kissy types but we do know when and where. That was what i was meaning. I dont do clubs but i thing in that atmosphere it would be cool!!

[4forfun]

I'm the outgoing partner, very chatty and flirty and hubby is more reserved but he still likes to chat and meet people. If we meet people and they are shy and don't show much interest I tend to lose interest as it can take a lot of effort and energy, and I need my energy for other things
Suzi

Posyted bi BiBlonde:

Famous last words we always here is "My wife is real shy at first but once she knows you she gets very outgoing"...usually with this comment we find that the men seem to be very outgoing but the women act as though they are bored the whole time and dont talk much and are very reserved. We usually get a half ass hug from her and the guys is all huggy kissey

Actualy those are my words and mrs Naughtys to.

But in a little diffeent sense.
Mrs naughty is totaly outgoing and can make anyone feel comfortable. She is GREAT!!!

She can flirt with the best of them and really get a guy spun up!!

But she does all this without actualy talking about sex. That is where she gets shy, out of the bedroom.

There will be sexual overtones in her flirting but no sex talk.

Sex talk out of the bedroom is usualy where I come in. I dont have a problem with it at all.

Its hard to believe if you do not know her, that she is a slut. (Dont worry, she doesnt mind being called a slut. She actualy kind of likes it. Thats what she always tells me after a night of swinging "I AM a slut ". She says slut is not a bad word anymore, though it use to be for her.)

Once we get into the bedroom for some swinging sex the word shy has absolutely no meaning to her!! After the door closes its all about SEX!!
It may be kind of weird to look at it this way but I think that makes her a very classy lady.

HMMMMMM....
A Classy Slut???

I like!!facelick

[biblonde]

Thanks guys! and MrNaughty..I dont mind shy I just like to know that there is an interest..I like the cute little looks, the smiles, and the body language that goes along with it. That makes for really hot times in and out of the bedroom. I get as much excitement out of the teasing before hand as I get out of the actual playtime. What drives me nutty is the women that act like they are being forced on the date then they come back with "We had such a great time and she just loves you two....when do ya want to set up a playdate?"

I completely understand what you are talking about.


Mrs naughty is shy but in a little different sense of the word.

[LikeMinds321]

Originally posted by 4forfun
If we meet people and they are shy and don't show much interest I tend to lose interest as it can take a lot of effort and energy, and I need my energy for other things
Suzi

So true for me! I am outgoing, but that doesn't mean I want to work my butt off trying to bring the other person out of their shell. It truly exhausts me.

I love being with men and women whose energy works with mine, we seem to fuel each other. If I couldn't find this with a potential sex partner I don't believe I would want to proceed.

LM

[GirlieZ]

Originally posted by biblonde
Thanks guys! and MrNaughty..I dont mind shy I just like to know that there is an interest..I like the cute little looks, the smiles, and the body language that goes along with it. That makes for really hot times in and out of the bedroom. I get as much excitement out of the teasing before hand as I get out of the actual playtime. What drives me nutty is the women that act like they are being forced on the date then they come back with "We had such a great time and she just loves you two....when do ya want to set up a playdate?"

I am with you there. I love flirty looks, slideways glances...I love women to oogle my goodies.

Now...If I am totally uncomfortable with you...or i don't like you...I will not say a word to you. Proper upbringing tells me not to. So if I am quiet..watch out! I try to give everyone a fair shake, but if you act like a total dickhead I won't waste my time on you.

About fair shakes:

A few weeks ago we went out w/a couple. The lady kinda went nuts over my husband and was on him like fur on a beaver. She wouldn't really talk to me and that bothered me. I said something to her and her husband about it. Then I dropped it. A week later she emails me and apologises. I email back and suggest that we have dinner together to ease each other's mind. We met, had a great dinner. So we are getting together again tomorrow. I hope that things have really worked out and she can be comfortable around me.

I am very outgoing. I speak first and think later. Not always a good thing. I tend to get along with everyone.

Zgirl

[biblonde]

I am very outgoing. I speak first and think later. Not always a good thing. I tend to get along with everyone.

Zgirl

My biggest problem..LOL and I wish you guys the best of luck...I agree sometimes ya gotta give a second chance! Have lots of fun!!

[OhioCouple]

Originally posted by biblonde
... BUT...what we have found is soooooo many women out there are so shy and quiet that we find them boring. Famous last words we always here is "My wife is real shy at first but once she knows you she gets very outgoing"...usually with this comment we find that the men seem to be very outgoing but the women act as though they are bored the whole time and dont talk much and are very reserved...

We totally resemble this. I, Mrs. O, have been this way all of my life in non-professional situations. (Hush Texas, ya'll were different!) I have to 'size up' a personal situation before I can loosen up and become a part of it. Mr. O on the other hand can have an intellegent and fun conversation with an ardvark. Don't know if he ever has, but I do know he has talked to wild turkeys and deer, to name a couple and he claims they respond quite well.

One thing you might want to keep in the back of your mind, biblonde, is that once those that are seemingly shy--cut loose. It could be more than you can handle!

[C&D]

I won't go as far as shy but C is a little nervous on meeting someone. However, usually when we meet someone we've already chatted with them so it's not to bad. Once the initially hi how ya doin' is done she's quite the talker. I'm not quite as nervous as she is though. I seem to meet people pretty easy.


CandD

[biblonde]

One thing you might want to keep in the back of your mind, biblonde, is that once those that are seemingly shy--cut loose. It could be more than you can handle!

Ohio...like i said before I dont really mind the shy ones but the ones who act like it is a chore to be out with. But you are right shy can turn into a wild animal!! lol