Is it common to play at Someone's Home

[2jersey]

We are meeting a new couple on Saturday evening and based on what we know about them from online and phone conversations, there is a good chance that we will play.

We have agreed to meet them at a restaurant that is (apparently) less than a mile from their home. They have suggested to us that they can "host" if the mood and chemistry is right. We interpet their 'hosting' reference as meaning that they may invite us back to their home to play.

We have never played at anyone’s home in the past (only hotels). Is this commonly done? Are their any particular issues we need to consider?

[NandTfromCA]

Originally Posted by 2jersey

We interpet their 'hosting' reference as meaning that they may invite us back to their home to play.

Yep.

Originally Posted by 2jersey

We have never played at anyone’s home in the past (only hotels). Is this commonly done? Are their any particular issues we need to consider?

Something to consider- stretch out before you arrive. You wouldn’t want to pull a hammy.

Seriously, we have only played at a hotel once. We are usually either at their house or ours. Can’t really think of any specific issues. If we trust someone enough to have sex with them, we will trust them enough to do it in their home. We probably wouldn't stay the night there, but we would certainly stay long enough to make sure everyone has a smile on their face. facelick

[Chicup]

We have only played at a hotel once. I'm sure as we get older and the kids get older it will be more common for us, but right now we would much rather be in a home (plus its free).

[2jersey]

Followup questions on the same topic:

Do people usually 'host' in their (master) bedroom? Or are other arrangements more common?

How do you feel about playing (behind closed/locked doors) if there are children sleeping in the house?

Thanks.

[Chicup]

Originally Posted by 2jersey

Followup questions on the same topic:

Do people usually 'host' in their (master) bedroom? Or are other arrangements more common?

We don't bring people into our bedroom but we have been in others.

How do you feel about playing (behind closed/locked doors) if there are children sleeping in the house?

Thanks.

With our oldest friends we do this, but the kids are very young. As they get older we will stop. We were REALLY freaked out by a couple, who we went back to their house and their 12 year old (and 8) were still up and after they went upstairs to bed they wanted to play. They said 'she locks her door and never leaves until morning' but it was too much for us and we didn't play. Turned out they were into BSDM as well which is NOT our thing, so all for the best heh.

[DGrey]

Originally Posted by 2jersey

Do people usually 'host' in their (master) bedroom? Or are other arrangements more common?

How do you feel about playing (behind closed/locked doors) if there are children sleeping in the house?

Thanks.

We've had a couple here once (we share a multi-family house with family and everyone was gone for the night so there was no fear of noise) and it started out in the living room, ended up on the back deck for a while and then finally in our bedroom b/c our bed is just so comfortable.

We've actually never played in a hotel, always someone's home.

And no, it's never a good idea to play when there are children sleeping. Those little buggers can be extremely quiet when they want to be and all you need is to have some kid walk up to you and ask you why you're doing such and such with his mom/dad.

It's bad enough when our own 4 year old is so quiet and walks in on just us.

E

[NandTfromCA]

Originally Posted by 2jersey

Do people usually 'host' in their (master) bedroom? Or are other arrangements more common?

We typically end up either in the master BR or in the living room. Sometimes we start in the hot tub out back but like to bring it inside when things really heat up.

Originally Posted by 2jersey

How do you feel about playing (behind closed/locked doors) if there are children sleeping in the house?

Ahhh, this one is controversial. We have had sex with each other, while our kids are at home, since they were born so we didn’t stop when we started swinging.

We have no problem playing when the kids are asleep. Once we put our kids to bed, they don’t get up. Also, our master BR is on the other side of our house from the other BR’s. If the kids are home though, we always take it to the BR (vs. playing in the living room or elsewhere). As they get older, we will probably have to rethink our stance on this.

There are many couples who would never play when their, or the other couple’s, kids are in the same house.

[Pepper & Drew]

Most of the time, we've played in someone's home or they've played at ours. Since we have no children, we end up hosting fairly often. We usually end up in the den (we've got a huge sectional couch....microfiber is da bomb!) or in our spare bedroom. Rarely have we played in our bed. As for kids, we've never played with anyone's kids in the house, and I doubt we ever would. I would feel like we'd have to be too quiet.

For us, a house is always more comfortable than a hotel....and the price doesn't hurt either.

Pepper

[2jersey]

Originally Posted by Pepper & Drew

Most of the time, we've played in someone's home or they've played at ours. Since we have no children, we end up hosting fairly often. We usually end up in the den (we've got a huge sectional couch....microfiber is da bomb!) or in our spare bedroom. Rarely have we played in our bed. As for kids, we've never played with anyone's kids in the house, and I doubt we ever would. I would feel like we'd have to be too quiet.

For us, a house is always more comfortable than a hotel....and the price doesn't hurt either.

Pepper

Thanks Pepper,

Let's assume, for arguments sake, that we have a big house. The children are young (between age 5 and 10) and that each child has a separate bedroom far away from the master bedroom. Further assume, that we have a very sturdy (key entry) lock on our bedroom door, and the children have learned to respect our privacy. They sleep soundly on a regular schedule (with very rare exceptions), they politely knock when they need our attention, and we have sufficient 'hiding spaces' in the master suite, should the worse case scenario result (i.e. a child needs our immediate attention in the middle of play). Finally, we are accustomed to having mommy-daddy sex in our bedroom, and the noise has never attracted their attention in the past.

Under these circumstances, should we avoid hosting in our home?

[LICouple4u]

Originally Posted by 2jersey

Finally, we are accustomed to having mommy-daddy sex in our bedroom, and the noise has never attracted their attention in the past.

Under these circumstances, should we avoid hosting in our home?

Are you two loud lovemakers? Unfortunately you don't know until you are into it if the other two are loud

We could never host in our home if the kids are around, simply because the place is incredibly small. Thankfully Grandma and Grandpa enjoy having them overnight, so we will be able to host when we play again.

[good times]

We are uncomfortable playing with children in the house no matter how old they are. We have had the oppurtunity presented to us but decided we wouldn't go there.

We entertain at our house quite often, usually in our bedroom. We use our bed because after breaking a bed with four of us on it, we have decided that our bed which has an almost indestructable freme is the better play bed.

[meandher2go]

we play at others houses and its been mostly in thier master bedroom. no kids were present and i dont think id want to play if kids were home there.

I like to take a good long look around the room for any video cameras that might be on. You cant find ALL of them but it makes sense to me to scan the room good first in case.

[confunktion]

We've actually never played at a hotel - it has always been at a house/apartment. We don't mind being the "visiting team"; sometimes that's better, so the other pair feels more comfortable in their own digs.

Little Funky (our child) loves sleepovers at her friends' houses and the grandparents' and the uncles'/aunts' and so on. It's not a problem to get her out so we can have some alone time, which means fun time! Why anyone would want to have that worry hanging over their head, I just don't know. We don't, that's for sure. If you can host without the kid(s) present, I highly recommend it.

Mr. Funk
Lining up sleepover locales as we speak.

[2jersey]

We're not sure if we understand the aversion to having children in the house during play. Naturally, we 'play' with one another with our children in our house. Our children have absolutely no knowledge of what transpires behind closed/locked doors. Yes, there may be some noise involved, but rarely enough to startle sleeping children - and certainly not enough noise for them to become alarmed. If they knock on the door (an extremely rare occurrence after bedtime), we regroup (put on a robe) and calmly attend to their needs - no big deal. And having a another couple present would not change this dynamic, in our opinion. The other couple would remain hidden from the children's view.

Put these facts together: 1) Most swingers are accustomed to playing in a home environment (unless they are club-goers). 2) We have small children. 3) We do not have family members who can take the children for overnight visits. 4) Most swingers will not play in a home where children are present.

Where does this leave us? Unable to 'host'.

[Pepper & Drew]

Originally Posted by 2jersey

Thanks Pepper,

Let's assume, for arguments sake, that we have a big house. The children are young (between age 5 and 10) and that each child has a separate bedroom far away from the master bedroom. Further assume, that we have a very sturdy (key entry) lock on our bedroom door, and the children have learned to respect our privacy. They sleep soundly on a regular schedule (with very rare exceptions), they politely knock when they need our attention, and we have sufficient 'hiding spaces' in the master suite, should the worse case scenario result (i.e. a child needs our immediate attention in the middle of play). Finally, we are accustomed to having mommy-daddy sex in our bedroom, and the noise has never attracted their attention in the past.

Under these circumstances, should we avoid hosting in our home?

Well, whether I'd avoid hosting would depend on the other couple. I'd definitely mention it early on, because a lot of people aren't okay with playing with children at home, no matter how far away your rooms are. I'm sure I'd like having to worry about not being loud (because I'm pretty loud) or the younger one having a bad dream, etc. I think I'd play somewhere else, and then find out if they'd be willing for you to host on later "playdates".

Pepper