Premature Ejaculation

[NJDixieDarlin]

I was wondering if anyone had any tips for guys with premature ejaculation? We have a regular friend that we play with and while he is a very attentive partner, he has no stamina. The problem is so bad that he usually avoids sex all together from fear of embarrasment, and says that maybe he should seek medical attention. When we have discussed this problem of his, he says that he is just not able to hold it back. Are there certain techinques to help with this? Personally, I think that he just does not get laid enough. My husband told him that it is just because he masterbates too much. Any thoughts on causes and cures other than Viagra?

[SexhoundDog]

I don't know how old all of you are, but way back when I was a young man and premature ejaculation was more of a problem, if I thought I had a pretty good chance of getting laid on a date and didn't want the fear of cumming too quick, I'd whack off before I went on the date. The excitement of a new lay always seems to make it happen quicker too.

I'd say if that idea doesn't work, have a round of sex, let him get the premature ejac out of the way, and then get serious about round 2. I'd be amazed if he didn't last MUCH longer then.

[Pinmonkey]

Is it a once then done thing? Maybe after his first orgasm he could last a little longer? Kinda "break the tension" or in terms of Something About Mary he shouldn't go out with a loaded gun.


or just read what SexHoundDog wrote.

[cpl4playmass]

half a valium works if he's just too excited, plus he should practice starting and stopping while masterbating. quick shooting comes from quick masterbating, so the longer he can hold off and learn to regulate his feeling down there he'll get better.

Practice, Practice, Practice

[Brit_Pair]

Try doing a Google search for "squeeze technique"

(Actually, here's one we made earlier:

http://www.google.com/search?sourcei...e+technique%22

try any of the links there. They might help your friend along with the other suggestions.)

[VetteGuy]

Originally Posted by SexhoundDog

I'd say if that idea doesn't work, have a round of sex, let him get the premature ejac out of the way, and then get serious about round 2. I'd be amazed if he didn't last MUCH longer then.

Agreed. The second (and third and fourth... ) are always much longer in duration. Any oral sex prior to vaginal sex shortens my stroke just that much faster too.

If it's been more than a few days since my last cum, my pistol has a hair trigger on the first go. It takes me a few minutes to reload and from there on in, I'm good to go until she says we're done.

CYa!
Vetteguy

[NJDixieDarlin]

Thank ya'll so much for your input. As far as him being able to last longer a second time, well I have no idea. He gets so embarrased the first go round that he is scared to try a second time. And age wise, well I guess we would be considered on the lower end of the age range since both he and my hubby are 23, but the hubby has no problem holding back. I guess it can be chalked up to inexperience and the old asian disease "lackanookie" Anyway, I will definately tell him to try taking care of business before hand, though I honestly think that he does do that already, and we will try the squeeze techniques this weekend. Again, thank ya'll.

[swingset]

You might suggest he looks up Kegel exercises. This has been proven to help with premature ejaculation and problems with keeping an erection.

[DandS]

I would also suggest the following books:

The Multi-Orgasmic Couple or The Multi-Orgasmic Man by Chia & Abrams

which can teach males how to separate orgasm from ejaculation.

[JustAskJulie]

I have always said that I don't care if a guy gets off too fast as long as he can recover quickly and go again.

I think that perhaps if you got him out of the group scenario (which may be part of what is causing the embarrassement) and had him as part of a 3some or 4some... then let him know. "Look I know you come quick, so I'm going to give you oral sex and get you off then we can see how long you last the second time around" or something like that (maybe a little less straight forward). But basically just try to put him more at ease.

As far as the not enough sex/ too much masturbation.... I tend to believe those may actually be factors to be considered. But unless you can get him to get past the embarrassment factor the rest really doesn't matter.

[BradAndJanet]

NJDixieDarlin, maybe you were kidding about Viagra, but perhaps he should consider it.

Will it help with the PE? No, not directly, but they will allow your friend to regain a erection much more quickly and knowing that he'll be able to 'perform' for round two (or three, or four...) may help him relax and have fun.

Just a thought....

-B

[yourvoyeurpal]

i don't have a lot of stamina at first, but i've discovered that taking a short break at the very moment that i feel an orgasm coming on let's me have that second wind that i need to keep going for the rest of the session. kegel exercises are KEY.

he just needs a little practice at it. also, a safe, friendly environment helps. i'm sure that's not a problem though.

[wrnakedru]

There are topical creams that a man can apply to himself that will lessen his sensitivity - and presumably, slow down his reaction time as well. Of course, if you are not making use of condoms - they would also affect your sensitivity as well.

If he is not using a condom, it could be that would be of some assistance as well as there is some diminishing of sensitivity when one is used.

I don't know about too much masturbation being a cause for P.E. There have been some threads here on this board that have discussed a man's inability to orgasm with intercourse when he masturbates frequently. I suppose the results vary with the individual.

If his embarrassment has prevented even attempting round two, it may be that Viagra is the answer since a more rapid return of erection would be achieved.

[BandJ1968]

You should recommend to your friend that he go see a urologist. Being in the medical profession, I know that lower/titrated doses of Zoloft are often used to control and/or prevent premature ejaculation.

B and J

[Brit_Pair]

One tip that appears to have been repeated in quite a few sexual technique volumes is to practice masturbating almost to the point of orgasm but stop short of actual ejaculation. This seems to work on two levels: firstly, it helps the male learn to recognise the signs of his approaching orgasm, so that when he is with a partner, he knows when it is *definitely* time to slow things down (assuming that he's not ready to come) and where his 'point of no return' is; secondly, it helps the male gain confidence in his ability to stop himself from coming prematurely, which should take some of the anxiety out of future encounters, and help break the cycle.