Husband wants to quit due to performance issues

sccple29073 · 08-07-2002, 07:52 AM

Hubby and i have tried full swap 2x, with same couple. He is fine during oral sex and putting on condom but once it gets to "point of entry" it becomes "shy". Even after this he and the other female start again with oral play and he is ready to go..but again is "shy" once it comes to the actual "point of entry".

Due to this he says, he no longer wants to full swap since obviously he can't.(his words) i have tried to talk to him about viagra but says he doesn't feel he has a problem to need it, since he has no problem with me and becomes upset if i try to push him to try it. (he says he gets upset because it is a sensitive issue)

Up until this point we had only done ff, with him participating in oral play on occassions and soft swing. Eventually we began meeting people that were into full swap, which we talked about it and decided to give it a try.

Should i try to talk to him about it, again? I would like to continue, but only if he is enjoying himself too. Would his "shy member" just be jitters or do you think it is something to do with who we are with? Or would you say, as he says, this is a sign that we should not swap or maybe we are just not ready for yet?

I definately do not want to push him into anything he is not ready or wanting to do.

ciscosv · 08-07-2002, 08:45 AM

I say it's jitters. If he can get hard with you then your husband is right, there is no need for viagra. This happens sometimes (maybe more) and I believe that it is due to being involved with the other woman that is not you. He feels comfortable with you. This sounds normal. In fact some 5+years ago I had a threesome with two ladies. One I was comfortable with, the other I was her freind. When it was time to slip the condom on, I could not stay erect. This happened several times that night. I think you two ought to keep trying. Practice makes perfect!

Quin · 08-07-2002, 09:38 AM

Until he's over his jiters (if he ever does get over them) the two of you could try the soft swing kind of thing...just having intercourse in the same room as the other couple...maybe swap for oral/or foreplay but when it comes time for actual penetration, each with their own spouse. This could help him, hopefully, in time become comfortable and at the same time build up some confidence so his jiters subside.

Then again if he's adamant that he doesn't want to swing in any way, shape, or form...it might be wise to back off, not swing and give him some time and space before bringing it up again.

Quin
<img border="0" alt="[Smiley_sex]" title="" src="graemlins/smilysex.gif" />

CanadianCouple · 08-07-2002, 10:46 AM

<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by sccple29073:
Hubby and i have tried full swap 2x, with same couple. He is fine during oral sex and putting on condom but once it gets to "point of entry" it becomes "shy". Even after this he and the other female start again with oral play and he is ready to go..but again is "shy" once it comes to the actual "point of entry".

<hr /></blockquote>Well, they say misery loves company, and you've got plenty of it with this. What you've described is actually quite common within the lifestyle, and yes, I've experienced it as well. It all comes down to a case of nerves and so-called "stage fright".

At the risk of drawing considerable wrath from my female friends in here, men in my opinion are under much more pressure to "perform" in group situations than are women, for obvious physical reasons. True, a woman may be nervous and subsequently "dry", but she's still capable of having intercourse and completing the act. On the other hand men often have little control over their erections, and I can tell you from personal experience it can be highly embarrassing and humiliating. After all, it's bad enough with just his wife present in their own bedroom, but now you have two other people present whom you may or may not know well, one of them you're trying desperately to please sexually. It has absolutely nothing to do with how much or little a man is sexually attracted to the partner he's with, something women should always keep in mind.

If it's any consolation to your husband, this happens even to seasoned swingers, men who've been doing this for years. The solution? Some say viagra helps, but a key ingrediant is having a RELAXED atmosphere. The few times I've had a problem, we've all stopped and taken a break, then things just happened naturally and I've completed the act every time. In fact the first time it happened, it happened to both myself and the other guy simultaneously, a couple who already had many years on their swinging resume. It was actually pretty funny at the time, me trying to enter his wife with a penis in full retreat, and him trying to accomplish the same with my wife. All turned out well though, eventually.

I understand your husband's feelings, believe me. I hope he's willing to try again, and I feel quite confident that once everyone's relaxed enough, he'll achieve full penetration with the other woman just fine.

Hope this helps,
Dan (on vacation)

OhioCouple · 08-07-2002, 12:30 PM

<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by CanadianCouple:
[/qb]<hr /></blockquote>At the risk of drawing considerable wrath from my female friends in here, men in my opinion are under much more pressure to "perform" in group situations than are women, for obvious physical reasons.[/QB][/quote]

Dan,

You are not going draw any wrath from this female. The advice you have given is very accurate and I'd be willing to go as far to say you have it to a tee. My husband has also suffered a few times from lack of being able to gain and maintain an erection when with new couples. In the beginning he was very embarassed about it and we were like sccple, wondering if we had any business entertaing this lifestyle at all. He rarely has a problem with me.

sccple,

I am going to hold to my theory that getting to know your selected partners make a major difference in male performance. (that and aclohol consumption which tends be the way that some people relax and get comfortable). What Dan said holds true for us, getting in a RELAXED atmosphere does make a big difference.

Continue to be supportive and let him know this is not abnormal, chances are that the couple you are with have experienced the same problem and will be understanding about it.

As Dan said, men have little control over their erections, where as with us women we can keep a bottle of Astroglide by our sides and go all night.

Lori

CanadianCouple · 08-07-2002, 02:04 PM

<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by OhioCouple:
[quote]

As Dan said, men have little control over their erections, where as with us women we can keep a bottle of Astroglide by our sides and go all night.

Lori<hr /></blockquote>Lori, since you've mentioned it, any ideas where Astroglide can be purchased? I've heard this product mentioned before within the swinging context, and have heard nothing but positive reviews.

Thanks.

Dan

walrus0115 · 08-07-2002, 02:59 PM

Try it for free...
<a href="http://www.astroglide.com/freesample/" target="_blank">http://www.astroglide.com/freesample/</a>

Good stuff!

ciscosv · 08-07-2002, 03:12 PM

WalMart. $ 6.00. Avoid buying from adult stores. They rip you off. Astroglide is the best lube. Especially if you can find it with the glowing label! KY just does not compare.

OhioCouple · 08-07-2002, 03:26 PM

<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by ciscosv:
WalMart. $ 6.00. Avoid buying from adult stores. They rip you off. Astroglide is the best lube. Especially if you can find it with the glowing label! KY just does not compare.<hr /></blockquote>Dan,

You can get the free sample that Walrus mentioned, that is how we got started with it. If you have a WalMart or a KMart in your area, they both carry it. I do believe tho that the website gives you a list of where to get it.

Astroglide in our home is darn near as important as toilet tissue. <img border="0" alt="[LOL]" title="" src="graemlins/lol.gif" /> It is a great lubricant, virtually tasteless and is a life saver for me when Gene is in the mood to be a little more sexual than me. The lubrication feels just like our own natural lubrication.

Just be careful tho and don't pour it on...a little goes a long way!

Lori

OhioCouple · 08-07-2002, 03:30 PM

<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by ciscosv:
WalMart. $ 6.00. Avoid buying from adult stores. They rip you off. Astroglide is the best lube. Especially if you can find it with the glowing label! KY just does not compare.<hr /></blockquote>We tossed the KY after getting turned on to Astroglide... You are right it does't compare.

BTW What is the glowing label? I am dying of curiosity now!

Lori

ciscosv · 08-07-2002, 03:46 PM

The name Astroglide and a couple of carressing abstract figures on the label glowed in the dark. That made it nice when the lights were out so you could easily grab it when needed without using the clapper. That was a few years ago and still wonder if the bottles with glowing labels are floating out there? I haven't seen them in a while. Perhaps too expensive to produce? Oh well. have to turn on the lights for now. I also have not bought a bottle of Astro in a year.......

CanadianCouple · 08-07-2002, 04:40 PM

Thanks everyone, for the advice on where to buy Astroglide. Sounds like great stuff.

Lori -- well, we used to have a Kmart, but they went under. As for WalMart, are you kidding?? You bet we have one, in fact just about every city, town and village south of the Arctic circle has one.

Hmmm, maybe they do have one up in Nunavut after all.....

Dan

CanadianCouple · 08-07-2002, 04:42 PM

<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by ciscosv:
 That made it nice when the lights were out so you could easily grab it when needed without using the clapper. <hr /></blockquote>Damn. And here I thought she was applauding. <img border="0" alt="[LOL]" title="" src="graemlins/lol.gif" />

Dan

OhioCouple · 08-07-2002, 07:50 PM

<blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by CanadianCouple:
 <blockquote>quote:<hr />Originally posted by ciscosv:
 That made it nice when the lights were out so you could easily grab it when needed without using the clapper. <hr /></blockquote>Damn. And here I thought she was applauding. <img border="0" alt="[LOL]" title="" src="graemlins/lol.gif" />

Dan<hr /></blockquote>Thanks ciscosv for the info! <img border="0" alt="[ROFL]" title="" src="graemlins/rofl.gif" /> Each time I have purchased any the only choices were the "plain Jane formula" <img border="0" alt="[LOL]" title="" src="graemlins/lol.gif" /> Guess we are just too rural. <img border="0" alt="[ROFL]" title="" src="graemlins/rofl.gif" />

Dan,

Astroglide has been a life saver in our household well not exactly life, but ya get the idea.... I applaud the fact that someone had the ingenuity to even invent it! Let's just say, it is like American Express....and we don't leave home without it! <img border="0" alt="[LOL]" title="" src="graemlins/lol.gif" />
Lori

JnCinOH · 08-19-2002, 11:25 AM

In my opinion the shy member problem is THE most difficult drawback for men to overcome in the lifestyle, because there seems to be so little that can be done to avoid it. Even Viagra doesn't always help because it requires the mental aspect for it to work. Once up, the Viagra clearly improves performance, but it still needs the "kick start." Ironically, somtimes the harder you try, the softer it gets.

I have found that the odds of a successful encounter has more to do with the woman's attitude, than, for example, her looks. When she makes it clear that she wants me, and responds to my kiss, touch, etc., good things usually happen. <img border="0" alt="[Fun]" title="" src="graemlins/fun.gif" /> On the other hand, when her body language implies that she is just going through the motions (e.g., only to please her husband), or worse, has the unspoken attitude of "OK stud, make me cum," disaster often follows.

Some guys seem to be able to block this all out and just get to work. Are there any insights on how these men bypass the mental obstacles that seem to plague some? Any techniques that can be practiced? There must be ways to improve the odds of success and minimize the embarrassment.

Swingers Ads	Swinger Pics	Swinger Stories	Shopping	Featured Swingers	Swingers Clubs	Swinger Articles	Dictionary	FAQs	Swinger Links
Forums	Blogs	Search	Today's Posts	Mark Forums Read	Register

08-07-2002, 07:52 AM	#1 (permalink)
sccple29073 Here to Stay Join Date: Jan 2002 Posts: 61 Location: South carolina	Husband wants to quit due to performance issues Hubby and i have tried full swap 2x, with same couple. He is fine during oral sex and putting on condom but once it gets to "point of entry" it becomes "shy". Even after this he and the other female start again with oral play and he is ready to go..but again is "shy" once it comes to the actual "point of entry". Due to this he says, he no longer wants to full swap since obviously he can't.(his words) i have tried to talk to him about viagra but says he doesn't feel he has a problem to need it, since he has no problem with me and becomes upset if i try to push him to try it. (he says he gets upset because it is a sensitive issue) Up until this point we had only done ff, with him participating in oral play on occassions and soft swing. Eventually we began meeting people that were into full swap, which we talked about it and decided to give it a try. Should i try to talk to him about it, again? I would like to continue, but only if he is enjoying himself too. Would his "shy member" just be jitters or do you think it is something to do with who we are with? Or would you say, as he says, this is a sign that we should not swap or maybe we are just not ready for yet? I definately do not want to push him into anything he is not ready or wanting to do. __________________ "only live once"

08-07-2002, 08:45 AM	#2 (permalink)
ciscosv Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Apr 2002 Posts: 750 Location: Redford, Michigan Status: Married Couple	I say it's jitters. If he can get hard with you then your husband is right, there is no need for viagra. This happens sometimes (maybe more) and I believe that it is due to being involved with the other woman that is not you. He feels comfortable with you. This sounds normal. In fact some 5+years ago I had a threesome with two ladies. One I was comfortable with, the other I was her freind. When it was time to slip the condom on, I could not stay erect. This happened several times that night. I think you two ought to keep trying. Practice makes perfect! __________________ M&M Melts in your mouth, not in your hand

08-07-2002, 09:38 AM	#3 (permalink)
Quin Swingers Board Addict Join Date: May 2002 Posts: 1,136 Location: Ohio Status: Single Female	Until he's over his jiters (if he ever does get over them) the two of you could try the soft swing kind of thing...just having intercourse in the same room as the other couple...maybe swap for oral/or foreplay but when it comes time for actual penetration, each with their own spouse. This could help him, hopefully, in time become comfortable and at the same time build up some confidence so his jiters subside. Then again if he's adamant that he doesn't want to swing in any way, shape, or form...it might be wise to back off, not swing and give him some time and space before bringing it up again. Quin <img border="0" alt="[Smiley_sex]" title="" src="graemlins/smilysex.gif" /> __________________ One thing about me is that I'm consistant in my behavior, my thoughts, and my posting. I don't sell out or change for any reason outside of my own self wanting to. What you see is what you get: today, tomorrow and every day after that.

08-07-2002, 10:46 AM	#4 (permalink)
CanadianCouple Swingers Board Addict Join Date: May 2001 Posts: 1,139 Location: New Brunswick, Canada Status: Married Couple	</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Originally posted by sccple29073: <strong>Hubby and i have tried full swap 2x, with same couple. He is fine during oral sex and putting on condom but once it gets to "point of entry" it becomes "shy". Even after this he and the other female start again with oral play and he is ready to go..but again is "shy" once it comes to the actual "point of entry". </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Well, they say misery loves company, and you've got plenty of it with this. What you've described is actually quite common within the lifestyle, and yes, I've experienced it as well. It all comes down to a case of nerves and so-called "stage fright". At the risk of drawing considerable wrath from my female friends in here, men in my opinion are under much more pressure to "perform" in group situations than are women, for obvious physical reasons. True, a woman may be nervous and subsequently "dry", but she's still capable of having intercourse and completing the act. On the other hand men often have little control over their erections, and I can tell you from personal experience it can be highly embarrassing and humiliating. After all, it's bad enough with just his wife present in their own bedroom, but now you have two other people present whom you may or may not know well, one of them you're trying desperately to please sexually. It has absolutely nothing to do with how much or little a man is sexually attracted to the partner he's with, something women should always keep in mind. If it's any consolation to your husband, this happens even to seasoned swingers, men who've been doing this for years. The solution? Some say viagra helps, but a key ingrediant is having a RELAXED atmosphere. The few times I've had a problem, we've all stopped and taken a break, then things just happened naturally and I've completed the act every time. In fact the first time it happened, it happened to both myself and the other guy simultaneously, a couple who already had many years on their swinging resume. It was actually pretty funny at the time, me trying to enter his wife with a penis in full retreat, and him trying to accomplish the same with my wife. All turned out well though, eventually. I understand your husband's feelings, believe me. I hope he's willing to try again, and I feel quite confident that once everyone's relaxed enough, he'll achieve full penetration with the other woman just fine. Hope this helps, Dan (on vacation)

08-07-2002, 12:30 PM	#5 (permalink)
OhioCouple Retired Mod Join Date: Dec 2001 Posts: 6,619 Location: Ohio Status: Married Female	</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Originally posted by CanadianCouple: [/qb]</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">At the risk of drawing considerable wrath from my female friends in here, men in my opinion are under much more pressure to "perform" in group situations than are women, for obvious physical reasons.[/QB][/quote] Dan, You are not going draw any wrath from this female. The advice you have given is very accurate and I'd be willing to go as far to say you have it to a tee. My husband has also suffered a few times from lack of being able to gain and maintain an erection when with new couples. In the beginning he was very embarassed about it and we were like sccple, wondering if we had any business entertaing this lifestyle at all. He rarely has a problem with me. sccple, I am going to hold to my theory that getting to know your selected partners make a major difference in male performance. (that and aclohol consumption which tends be the way that some people relax and get comfortable). What Dan said holds true for us, getting in a RELAXED atmosphere does make a big difference. Continue to be supportive and let him know this is not abnormal, chances are that the couple you are with have experienced the same problem and will be understanding about it. As Dan said, men have little control over their erections, where as with us women we can keep a bottle of Astroglide by our sides and go all night. Lori __________________ Remember that human beings are complicated creatures. We like our bedtime routines but dislike routine in our bed times. - Sallie Foley, M.S.W.

08-07-2002, 02:04 PM	#6 (permalink)
CanadianCouple Swingers Board Addict Join Date: May 2001 Posts: 1,139 Location: New Brunswick, Canada Status: Married Couple	</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Originally posted by OhioCouple: <strong>[quote] As Dan said, men have little control over their erections, where as with us women we can keep a bottle of Astroglide by our sides and go all night. Lori</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Lori, since you've mentioned it, any ideas where Astroglide can be purchased? I've heard this product mentioned before within the swinging context, and have heard nothing but positive reviews. Thanks. Dan

08-07-2002, 02:59 PM	#7 (permalink)
walrus0115 Join Date: Dec 2001 Posts: 132 Location: Athens, OH Status: Couple	Try it for free... <a href="http://www.astroglide.com/freesample/" target="_blank">http://www.astroglide.com/freesample/</a> Good stuff! __________________ Irie Mon

08-07-2002, 03:12 PM	#8 (permalink)
ciscosv Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Apr 2002 Posts: 750 Location: Redford, Michigan Status: Married Couple	WalMart. $ 6.00. Avoid buying from adult stores. They rip you off. Astroglide is the best lube. Especially if you can find it with the glowing label! KY just does not compare. __________________ M&M Melts in your mouth, not in your hand

08-07-2002, 03:26 PM	#9 (permalink)
OhioCouple Retired Mod Join Date: Dec 2001 Posts: 6,619 Location: Ohio Status: Married Female	</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Originally posted by ciscosv: <strong>WalMart. $ 6.00. Avoid buying from adult stores. They rip you off. Astroglide is the best lube. Especially if you can find it with the glowing label! KY just does not compare.</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Dan, You can get the free sample that Walrus mentioned, that is how we got started with it. If you have a WalMart or a KMart in your area, they both carry it. I do believe tho that the website gives you a list of where to get it. Astroglide in our home is darn near as important as toilet tissue. <img border="0" alt="[LOL]" title="" src="graemlins/lol.gif" /> It is a great lubricant, virtually tasteless and is a life saver for me when Gene is in the mood to be a little more sexual than me. The lubrication feels just like our own natural lubrication. Just be careful tho and don't pour it on...a little goes a long way! Lori __________________ Remember that human beings are complicated creatures. We like our bedtime routines but dislike routine in our bed times. - Sallie Foley, M.S.W.

08-07-2002, 03:30 PM	#10 (permalink)
OhioCouple Retired Mod Join Date: Dec 2001 Posts: 6,619 Location: Ohio Status: Married Female	</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Originally posted by ciscosv: <strong>WalMart. $ 6.00. Avoid buying from adult stores. They rip you off. Astroglide is the best lube. Especially if you can find it with the glowing label! KY just does not compare.</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">We tossed the KY after getting turned on to Astroglide... You are right it does't compare. BTW What is the glowing label? I am dying of curiosity now! Lori __________________ Remember that human beings are complicated creatures. We like our bedtime routines but dislike routine in our bed times. - Sallie Foley, M.S.W.

08-07-2002, 03:46 PM	#11 (permalink)
ciscosv Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Apr 2002 Posts: 750 Location: Redford, Michigan Status: Married Couple	The name Astroglide and a couple of carressing abstract figures on the label glowed in the dark. That made it nice when the lights were out so you could easily grab it when needed without using the clapper. That was a few years ago and still wonder if the bottles with glowing labels are floating out there? I haven't seen them in a while. Perhaps too expensive to produce? Oh well. have to turn on the lights for now. I also have not bought a bottle of Astro in a year....... __________________ M&M Melts in your mouth, not in your hand

08-07-2002, 04:40 PM	#12 (permalink)
CanadianCouple Swingers Board Addict Join Date: May 2001 Posts: 1,139 Location: New Brunswick, Canada Status: Married Couple	Thanks everyone, for the advice on where to buy Astroglide. Sounds like great stuff. Lori -- well, we used to have a Kmart, but they went under. As for WalMart, are you kidding?? You bet we have one, in fact just about every city, town and village south of the Arctic circle has one. Hmmm, maybe they do have one up in Nunavut after all..... Dan

08-07-2002, 04:42 PM	#13 (permalink)
CanadianCouple Swingers Board Addict Join Date: May 2001 Posts: 1,139 Location: New Brunswick, Canada Status: Married Couple	</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Originally posted by ciscosv: <strong> That made it nice when the lights were out so you could easily grab it when needed without using the clapper. </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Damn. And here I thought she was applauding. <img border="0" alt="[LOL]" title="" src="graemlins/lol.gif" /> Dan

08-07-2002, 07:50 PM	#14 (permalink)
OhioCouple Retired Mod Join Date: Dec 2001 Posts: 6,619 Location: Ohio Status: Married Female	</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Originally posted by CanadianCouple: <strong> </font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Originally posted by ciscosv: <strong> That made it nice when the lights were out so you could easily grab it when needed without using the clapper. </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Damn. And here I thought she was applauding. <img border="0" alt="[LOL]" title="" src="graemlins/lol.gif" /> Dan</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Thanks ciscosv for the info! <img border="0" alt="[ROFL]" title="" src="graemlins/rofl.gif" /> Each time I have purchased any the only choices were the "plain Jane formula" <img border="0" alt="[LOL]" title="" src="graemlins/lol.gif" /> Guess we are just too rural. <img border="0" alt="[ROFL]" title="" src="graemlins/rofl.gif" /> Dan, Astroglide has been a life saver in our household well not exactly life, but ya get the idea.... I applaud the fact that someone had the ingenuity to even invent it! Let's just say, it is like American Express....and we don't leave home without it! <img border="0" alt="[LOL]" title="" src="graemlins/lol.gif" /> Lori __________________ Remember that human beings are complicated creatures. We like our bedtime routines but dislike routine in our bed times. - Sallie Foley, M.S.W.

Similar Threads
Thread	Thread Starter	Forum	Replies	Last Post
Performance Issues...	kamasutracpl	Let's Talk About Sex	13	08-30-2004 07:18 AM

08-19-2002, 11:25 AM	#15 (permalink)
JnCinOH Active Member Join Date: Sep 2001 Posts: 20 Location: ohio, usa Status: couple	In my opinion the shy member problem is THE most difficult drawback for men to overcome in the lifestyle, because there seems to be so little that can be done to avoid it. Even Viagra doesn't always help because it requires the mental aspect for it to work. Once up, the Viagra clearly improves performance, but it still needs the "kick start." Ironically, somtimes the harder you try, the softer it gets. I have found that the odds of a successful encounter has more to do with the woman's attitude, than, for example, her looks. When she makes it clear that she wants me, and responds to my kiss, touch, etc., good things usually happen. <img border="0" alt="[Fun]" title="" src="graemlins/fun.gif" /> On the other hand, when her body language implies that she is just going through the motions (e.g., only to please her husband), or worse, has the unspoken attitude of "OK stud, make me cum," disaster often follows. Some guys seem to be able to block this all out and just get to work. Are there any insights on how these men bypass the mental obstacles that seem to plague some? Any techniques that can be practiced? There must be ways to improve the odds of success and minimize the embarrassment. __________________ Don't let the sound of your own wheels drive you crazy. (Eagles)

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Email this Page
Display Modes
Linear Mode Switch to Hybrid Mode Switch to Threaded Mode