No erection? Then he can just watch!

customhardtail · 07-30-2003, 12:05 AM

Hi all...this is my fist time to post. I just need to vent a little.

We've started playing with a couple that we've know for several years. Neither of us knew that the others swing.

To make a long story short. The first time we played with them he couldn't get hard. I just figured he was nervous or shy or whatever. But he really liked watching.

I (female half) broke her in to her first bi experience. Everyone seemed to enjoy this very much so. She even went down on me, which was not expected of her...I just love to taste pussy and never expext anyone to return the favor. But she really enjoy it!!!

Then my husband finished things up with her, while I was still trying to get him hard. Finally gave up.

We got together again this weekend, and the same thing happened! I started to get a complex.

I now relize it's him. He is so into watching his wife get screwed that he can't get into it himself.

My husband and I talked about it, and decided if we ever play with them again...we'll just make it a threesome and he can watch. If anyone gets screwed it will be me. If she wants to get screwed them her own husband will have to do it...

Thanks for letting me vent!

thump29 · 07-30-2003, 12:10 AM

Seems to me that her husband does have a definite problem and it isnt you.I agree with you on the threesome. If he cant get it up then he just needs to watch. Good luck and have fun!

windsor4fun2 · 07-30-2003, 12:47 AM

If he doesn't have a problem with it go for it. Some people do prefer to watch their SO enjoying themselves. Don't exclude him but don't count on him to actively participate and satisfy you.

Jesse

Brit_Pair · 07-30-2003, 05:26 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by customhardtail
. . . My husband and I talked about it, and decided if we ever play with them again...we'll just make it a threesome and he can watch. If anyone gets screwed it will be me. If she wants to get screwed them her own husband will have to do it...

Not sure that you should necessarily see this as a problem (unless you're unhappy with being watched or ultra set on being fucked by a different guy). If you enjoy this couples' company socially you're already off to a winning start. If you and the other woman are attracted to each other and give pleasure to one another, then you're ahead of the game. And your husband could always share his cock with *both* of you ladies.

Some people search endessly (and without success) for a single bi-female. The only difference is, your single bi-female brings her husband along to watch.

We say: accept that the other guy prefers to watch, don't get a complex about yourself, and enjoy the ride.

Additude · 07-30-2003, 06:03 AM

Maybe he has a medical problem and needs some Viagra?

I assume he would know that, but if he is letting you try to get him hard then I take it he can get hard.

Ask his wife, woman to woman what's going on.

customhardtail · 07-30-2003, 09:44 AM

He gets hard watching his wife and I play...then he'll start to play with me, but when my husband starts to fuck her...he stops what he is doing to watch them and goes soft. I should of at that point just joined in with a threesome. That's what I did the first time and everyone was fine with that...that is how his wife found out she liked the bi -experince. I thought maybe he felt left out...he kept saying "next time I wont be so nervous."

I don't know...it's all messed up. The whole thing just messed with my mind a little. I thought that maybe I wasn't attractive enough or something, or that it had something to do with her DD's and my B's. We went to a party the night after, and everyone there was coming on to me...so that made me feel alot better about myself...

Oh well...live and learn!

Additude · 07-30-2003, 10:09 AM

OK,

Well then it's "Just a Thing". If he is nervous, etc. then that will pass.

Don't blame yourself.

BTW, I prefer "B" to "DD" any day!

bccpl77 · 07-30-2003, 10:14 AM

just a shot in the dark but maybe there is a twinge of jealousy on his part, watching his wife with another man. I would think if he was a voyeur he would get hard not soft watching his wife with your hubby. Just another possibility.

windsor4fun2 · 07-30-2003, 10:45 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by customhardtail
He gets hard watching his wife and I play...then he'll start to play with me, but when my husband starts to fuck her...he stops what he is doing to watch them and goes soft.

Maybe ther is something other than voyeurism going on there as bccpl77 says. If it excites him to watch I wouldn't think he would loose his erection, I know I don't when I'm watching the Mrs. playing.

You say you've known them for years. Maybe you could talk to the other wife and see if this is normal for him? The fact that you've been friends for so long prior to swinging together may be an issue.

We have some neighbours that we've been close friends with for 15 years. Three years ago we discovered they were swingers as well. We have never played together and won't. They are like family and it would just feel strange.

Either way I would suggest talking to them.

Jesse

customhardtail · 07-30-2003, 02:03 PM

I plan on talking to the wife soon. I don't want to lose them as friends...

I do think there might be something going on with him. He has mentioned he would like to bring home 5 young studs to service her. My husband thinks he has a problem and needs other men to satisfy her.

Thanks for all the encouragement....

***JustAskJulie*** · 07-31-2003, 12:27 PM

I have some friends that sound just like your friends. THe first time we were with them we were all so new to swinging that I don't think any of us realized what the deal was (including them). It was several years later before we met with them again and by then theyhad realized that he was totally into watching her and not really into playing himself. Now that they know that, they can let others know that and it makes life much simpler.

I would say sit down and talk to them about it. If they've been swinging for a while then I'm sure they realize where their interests lie. Just ask him if he is interested in playing or if he'd rather just watch as the 3 of you play.

You could just make it a soft-swing scenario with them where you two girls play together then when you are ready for the guys you go to your own partner and enjoy.

bill&sabrina · 08-09-2003, 10:02 PM

If your husband enjoys it, then I wouldn't see the problem. Don't have a complex. My husband would love to watch me have sex with another man, but I don't want to unless he is with another woman. But, that is just me. So, if I were you, I would just enjoy it. Maybe it will pass.
Sabrina

customhardtail · 08-24-2003, 10:17 AM

I just wanted to take the time to update on this subject.

We had a talk with the other couple, and all is well. The other hubby let us know he does have a problem with getting hard, and if we are fine with him just watching us play with his wife that is great with them.

They are vacation right now, so when thay get back we'll be getting together. So we have found our bi-female for threesomes!!!

Brit_Pair · 08-24-2003, 12:53 PM

A win-win situation then. Congratulations on working things out so amicably.

Paul&Audrey · 08-28-2003, 09:46 PM

When it comes to the wife and i, her big turn on is watching another woman and myself go at it. She doesnt participate a whole lot...usually she will get between us and lick my cock and her twat all at once. Once we finish, the wife usually cleans the gal up the right way...

So, yes, she participates her own way...

Paul & Audrey

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07-30-2003, 12:05 AM	#1 (permalink)
customhardtail Active Member Join Date: Dec 2002 Posts: 32 Location: Puget Sound, WA Status: couple	No erection? Then he can just watch! Hi all...this is my fist time to post. I just need to vent a little. We've started playing with a couple that we've know for several years. Neither of us knew that the others swing. To make a long story short. The first time we played with them he couldn't get hard. I just figured he was nervous or shy or whatever. But he really liked watching. I (female half) broke her in to her first bi experience. Everyone seemed to enjoy this very much so. She even went down on me, which was not expected of her...I just love to taste pussy and never expext anyone to return the favor. But she really enjoy it!!! Then my husband finished things up with her, while I was still trying to get him hard. Finally gave up. We got together again this weekend, and the same thing happened! I started to get a complex. I now relize it's him. He is so into watching his wife get screwed that he can't get into it himself. My husband and I talked about it, and decided if we ever play with them again...we'll just make it a threesome and he can watch. If anyone gets screwed it will be me. If she wants to get screwed them her own husband will have to do it... Thanks for letting me vent! __________________ K the female half Life is too short not to dance naked...

07-30-2003, 06:03 AM	#5 (permalink)
Additude Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Apr 2002 Posts: 410 Location: OBX-NC	Maybe he has a medical problem and needs some Viagra? I assume he would know that, but if he is letting you try to get him hard then I take it he can get hard. Ask his wife, woman to woman what's going on. __________________ If you want something you have never had before, you must do something you have never done before.

07-30-2003, 09:44 AM	#6 (permalink)
customhardtail Active Member Join Date: Dec 2002 Posts: 32 Location: Puget Sound, WA Status: couple	He gets hard watching his wife and I play...then he'll start to play with me, but when my husband starts to fuck her...he stops what he is doing to watch them and goes soft. I should of at that point just joined in with a threesome. That's what I did the first time and everyone was fine with that...that is how his wife found out she liked the bi -experince. I thought maybe he felt left out...he kept saying "next time I wont be so nervous." I don't know...it's all messed up. The whole thing just messed with my mind a little. I thought that maybe I wasn't attractive enough or something, or that it had something to do with her DD's and my B's. We went to a party the night after, and everyone there was coming on to me...so that made me feel alot better about myself... Oh well...live and learn! __________________ K the female half Life is too short not to dance naked...

07-30-2003, 10:09 AM	#7 (permalink)
Additude Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Apr 2002 Posts: 410 Location: OBX-NC	OK, Well then it's "Just a Thing". If he is nervous, etc. then that will pass. Don't blame yourself. BTW, I prefer "B" to "DD" any day! __________________ If you want something you have never had before, you must do something you have never done before.

07-30-2003, 12:10 AM	#2 (permalink)
thump29 Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Apr 2003 Posts: 333 Location: okeechobee, fl Status: couple	Seems to me that her husband does have a definite problem and it isnt you.I agree with you on the threesome. If he cant get it up then he just needs to watch. Good luck and have fun!

07-30-2003, 12:47 AM	#3 (permalink)
windsor4fun2 Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Jun 2003 Posts: 371 Location: Windsor, Ontario Status: M half of Couple	If he doesn't have a problem with it go for it. Some people do prefer to watch their SO enjoying themselves. Don't exclude him but don't count on him to actively participate and satisfy you. Jesse

07-30-2003, 10:14 AM	#8 (permalink)
bccpl77 Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Jun 2003 Posts: 235 Location: british columbia Status: couple	just a shot in the dark but maybe there is a twinge of jealousy on his part, watching his wife with another man. I would think if he was a voyeur he would get hard not soft watching his wife with your hubby. Just another possibility.

07-30-2003, 02:03 PM	#10 (permalink)
customhardtail Active Member Join Date: Dec 2002 Posts: 32 Location: Puget Sound, WA Status: couple	I plan on talking to the wife soon. I don't want to lose them as friends... I do think there might be something going on with him. He has mentioned he would like to bring home 5 young studs to service her. My husband thinks he has a problem and needs other men to satisfy her. Thanks for all the encouragement.... __________________ K the female half Life is too short not to dance naked...

07-31-2003, 12:27 PM	#11 (permalink)
*JustAskJulie* Your Hostess Join Date: Nov 2002 Posts: 24,506 Location: In my House Status: Female Swing Lifestyle Name:swingersboard Blog Entries: 75	I have some friends that sound just like your friends. THe first time we were with them we were all so new to swinging that I don't think any of us realized what the deal was (including them). It was several years later before we met with them again and by then theyhad realized that he was totally into watching her and not really into playing himself. Now that they know that, they can let others know that and it makes life much simpler. I would say sit down and talk to them about it. If they've been swinging for a while then I'm sure they realize where their interests lie. Just ask him if he is interested in playing or if he'd rather just watch as the 3 of you play. You could just make it a soft-swing scenario with them where you two girls play together then when you are ready for the guys you go to your own partner and enjoy. __________________ Julie Owner/ Admin http://www.swingersboard.com

08-09-2003, 10:02 PM	#12 (permalink)
bill&sabrina Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Aug 2002 Posts: 300 Location: Kentucky	If your husband enjoys it, then I wouldn't see the problem. Don't have a complex. My husband would love to watch me have sex with another man, but I don't want to unless he is with another woman. But, that is just me. So, if I were you, I would just enjoy it. Maybe it will pass. Sabrina

08-24-2003, 10:17 AM	#13 (permalink)
customhardtail Active Member Join Date: Dec 2002 Posts: 32 Location: Puget Sound, WA Status: couple	I just wanted to take the time to update on this subject. We had a talk with the other couple, and all is well. The other hubby let us know he does have a problem with getting hard, and if we are fine with him just watching us play with his wife that is great with them. They are vacation right now, so when thay get back we'll be getting together. So we have found our bi-female for threesomes!!! __________________ K the female half Life is too short not to dance naked...

08-24-2003, 12:53 PM	#14 (permalink)
Brit_Pair Retired Mod Join Date: Feb 2003 Posts: 3,635 Location: UK Status: Couple	A win-win situation then. Congratulations on working things out so amicably. __________________ *It's not going to be an orgy. It's a toga party . . .*

08-28-2003, 09:46 PM	#15 (permalink)
Paul&Audrey Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Aug 2002 Posts: 119 Location: near Delta, MO. Status: BiF/Str8M Couple Swing Lifestyle Name:luvtolickalot	When it comes to the wife and i, her big turn on is watching another woman and myself go at it. She doesnt participate a whole lot...usually she will get between us and lick my cock and her twat all at once. Once we finish, the wife usually cleans the gal up the right way... So, yes, she participates her own way... Paul & Audrey __________________ Paul & Audrey

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