Hello this is Mr. Swing here. My wife and I, as a few of you already know, usually swing solo. Well we have only had one or two experiences but each time I had a really difficult time staying erect, and even during intercourse with these other women sometimes midway through, I would go to a semi-hard/soft state. Nothing distracts me, nothing that I can think of happens to make me feel this way, but once I start getting soft I panic, which only makes things worse. Can any men give me some advice on how to conquer this, and if anything, can any men say this happens/has happened to them too? I would appreciate any advice. Thanks
it has happened to me aswell usually with someone new ....
It's happened a number of times!
I prefer to stay away from any drug that isn't actively saving my life so in the case of "losing the point" I mainly work on just relaxing and letting the "mood" come back around or switch to activities that aren't penis dependent for a while. So far it's worked out ok.
Agree with eariler post... Viagra.... I had your problem and didn't want to take anything because it went against my "manhood"... Well, took a viagra and my "manhood" came right back.... Now I rarely need the drug... But, bet your ass, if things aren't working the way they should, I down a the little blue pill and all is well.
Leave the lights on...We don't eat anything we can't see!!! facelick
I've seen similar treads often on this board. My wife gets upset when this happens to guy she's with. Figures it's her fault. Probably because we're not 18 any more nor are our play friends. So I asked this question." What can two women do together that a caring guy with a soft on can't do?" I've sure seen a lot of women have a good time together. Either that or there are an awfull lot of good bi actors out there.
happened once and only on the first time with the female. after that time its been ok but it IS in the back of my mind now..
but have been with a few couples since and all has been ok. id also ask if your bloodpressure is ok. its usually a good first sign.
I haven't had this happen when Mrs. WS and I are together in a swinging situation, but the it has happened before when we've done seperate rooms or solo. I think for me it had to do more with some deep idea that it was like cheating, and somehow I felt unconciously guilty.
"Sex is something you do, sexuality is something you are." ~ Anna Freud
I think that it pretty much it for me. I have some weird subconscious guilt trip going on even though the Mrs is completely fine with everything. I think im going to try relaxation techniques for now, and see if maybe I can stall by doing some good non-penis dependent foreplay. Thanks for your help everyone
I'd recommend popcicle sticks and duct tape.
Actually, this happened to me once when I was going for "round 2" and it freaked me out a little. I've tried the "V" and it works. It also increases your staying power.
Remember the difference between concern and panic. Concern is the first time you can't do it the second time. Panic is the second time you can't do it the first time.
Many men do prefer Levitra to Viagra - there is less facial flushing, stuffy nose and headache. And don't forget Cialis (note the little swingers in our Avatar - thanks to the Cialis ad for that little icon) - it is for the younger and heart healthy folks tho. Since it stays active in the body for up to 3 days, it may not be the best drug for ED in those who are not pretty healthy; the thought behind this is - if nitrates are needed (for a cardiac event) the use of the drug may be forgotten if it was taken a day or two (or three) ago.
An important point with the ED drugs: if you experience any chest pains - consult your physician!!! And if you have to take nitrates (either at home or in the hospital ) make sure you report the use of these drugs and when you took them. All of them can dangerously lower blood pressure if they are on board when nitrates are given.
Otherwise, I would have to agree with the crew here and say: try one of these wonderful medications - they can really help bolster confidence!
"Everyone here is wondering what it's like to be with somebody else..."
~Back 2 Good, Rob Thomas (matchbox twenty)
Another advantage to Viagra and the other drugs...even if you don't need it to get erect initially, it reduces a man's recovery time after an orgasm. At least it does mine. So, you can be back in action sooner than if you haven't taken it.
we b real!
i say it could be the 'self conscious' aspect....
kinda . expecting too much from yourself
it CAN be difficult to relax completely with a new partner
(tho i have never 'swang' yet) as i never RUSH things
my advice....stop tryin too hard....relax and enjoy the company and playtime
together....let the moment tell itself Surrender
i can't wait! to visit a swinger club with my SO
in my life...sex ain't always a fuck
yet, it always feel good baby
just little ole me.....