Couldn't Rise to the occasion

[De and Ci]

This past weekend some we went to our favorite swinger's club with some friends. We ended sitting with another couple that we both know pretty well in the lifestyle. We have never expressed much sexual interest in them. I'm not interested in her-she's not my type, she likes my wife-she is very bisexual, my wife is not (bi-playful), she is agrees to be just friends with my wife. However, her hubby totally has the hots for my wife-he has always been somewhat pushy-always asking my wife when will she "do him". Anyway we have always kept them at arms length sexually and consider them club friends.

Well, on this particular night, he started coming on to my wife, asking what can he do for her to have sex with him, saying how sexy and hot she is, she's so beautiful, yadda yadda, basically begging. Anyway I suggested to my wife since he's been trying so hard and for so long maybe she should give him a little. She agreed so she started flirting with him, asked him to dance, dancing very suggestive to him, rubbing him, (she was wearing a very sexy dress and nothing underneath), he was getting very excited, they got back to the table, they were talking and flirting, he kept asking me if it was ok, I said go for it, maybe tonight will be his night, he was so entralled. So much that a girl friend of ours started talking to my wife, he told her "she was cutting in on his action", I explained to our friend what the deal was-she understood and we had a laugh. Anyway we invite them back to our friends house. So there are 3 couples-we all know each other. The other couple knows what the deal is-I explain that my wife is going to let him fuck her. We all end up on the bed and he can't get it up. His wife tried sucking on him, he got a little hard, went to put the rubber on and lost it, just couldn't get hard. I was suprised and a little disappointed, wanted to see him go after it. I ended up screwing my wife. After we all finished we went to the hot tub, he stayed inside, didn't want to go, and got his wife and they left shortly afterwords. I couldn't believe it, but our friends explained that sometimes that happens-he may have got nervous. But he had been begging my wife almost 2 years. Has this happened to anybody else?
I mean, he wanted her so bad, my wife said he was very hard when we were at the club. My wife thinks he's not going to want to talk to us for awhile and will be embarrased to see us. I think that he will make a bunch of excuses and will come on to my wife again. Any thoughts? Is this common?

[northindycpl]

I am not sure if this is common, but it does happen.

The biggest issue I have with your post is that it sounded to me like this was something that was not your wifes idea, but yours. I was left with the impression that you forced (for lack of a better term) them to be together and that doesn't sit well with me.

Is that what you meant? Or can you elaborate?

If you have pressured someone to be with your wife and visa-versa, and then watched the whole thing, I could see how this guy couldn't stay hard when you were present.

Honestly, if I have gotten the impression from your post right, I wouldn't blame him for never wanting to talk to you again.

I didn't get that from his thread.

This "friend" had been hitting on her for the longest time. He Suggested to his wife that maybe she should just give the guy a little. It was just a suggestion and she agreed.
I don't see anyone forcing anyone to do anything here, but maybe I am reading it wrong.

[De and Ci]

Originally Posted by northindycpl

The biggest issue I have with your post is that it sounded to me like this was something that was not your wifes idea, but yours. I was left with the impression that you forced (for lack of a better term) them to be together and that doesn't sit well with me.

Is that what you meant? Or can you elaborate?

If you have pressured someone to be with your wife and visa-versa, and then watched the whole thing, I could see how this guy couldn't stay hard when you were present.

Honestly, if I have gotten the impression from your post right, I wouldn't blame him for never wanting to talk to you again.

Yes I suggested it-but she wholeheartedly agreed with me. At one point he was playing her at the table, she was moaning and groaning, she pointed at me to join them, we were both playing with her, I was sucking 1 teat and he was sucking another. She came about 10 times, squirted all over the floor. This guy happens to be an experienced swinger, he has no problems with people watching him. They have played with lots of other couples. He has been begging-I repeat begging, for 2 years. Please reread my post, I get the impression you are not in the lifestyle. How come some people assume If a guy asks his SO to do something kinky and she agrees-it was somehow forced? I hope I made myself clear, Do you "get it" now? If not maybe someone else here can better educate you.

[De and Ci]

Originally Posted by Mr&Mrs-naughty

I didn't get that from his thread.

This "friend" had been hitting on her for the longest time. He Suggested to his wife that maybe she should just give the guy a little. It was just a suggestion and she agreed.
I don't see anyone forcing anyone to do anything here, but maybe I am reading it wrong.

Thanks so much, I didn't see your post till after I posted my reply, I guess we were writing at the same time

[BiDrywallChick]

I have seen it happen a few times.. 2 times with me and another guy.. I found out later that his was from waaaay too much weed. Now, in my old age I know that drugs and alhohol can affect the way a man responds ( or doesnt in this case) towards sex. Every case is different. It has also happened to my Dh. In his case.. he just wasnt into the woman we were with. He thought that he had to get into the action or one of the f ( me included) would have been offended. We all talked about it afterwards and cleared the air. He was definately embarrassed at the time, so i feel for the guy.

[BiDrywallChick]

Originally Posted by northindycpl

I am not sure if this is common, but it does happen.

The biggest issue I have with your post is that it sounded to me like this was something that was not your wifes idea, but yours. I was left with the impression that you forced (for lack of a better term) them to be together and that doesn't sit well with me.

.

I didnt get that from his post. He said he suggested and she agreed that she would.. More like a sympathy screw for lack of a better description on my part. It isnt like he said " Screw him or walk home"

[northindycpl]

Originally Posted by De and Ci

Please reread my post, I get the impression you are not in the lifestyle. How come some people assume If a guy asks his SO to do something kinky and she agrees-it was somehow forced? I hope I made myself clear, Do you "get it" now? If not maybe someone else here can better educate you.

Clearly I didn't 'Get' your meaning, however trival the point is now. I figured asking to elaborate on it was a way of asking you to 'educate' me on your meaning.

And for lack of a better term, 'forced' should have been replaced with 'suggestion', my mistake.

I can tell you that in my experience my husband would never ask me to 'pity fuck' anyone.

[De and Ci]

Originally Posted by BiDrywallChick

I have seen it happen a few times.. 2 times with me and another guy.. I found out later that his was from waaaay too much weed. Now, in my old age I know that drugs and alhohol can affect the way a man responds ( or doesnt in this case) towards sex. Every case is different. It has also happened to my Dh. In his case.. he just wasnt into the woman we were with. He thought that he had to get into the action or one of the f ( me included) would have been offended. We all talked about it afterwards and cleared the air. He was definately embarrassed at the time, so i feel for the guy.

I understand, the thing is-this guy was soooo excited to have the oppty to screw my wife, he just couldn't wait, was so esctatic, then he couldn't perform-that was the shocker!

[BiDrywallChick]

Originally Posted by De and Ci

I understand, the thing is-this guy was soooo excited to have the oppty to screw my wife, he just couldn't wait, was so esctatic, then he couldn't perform-that was the shocker!

quite the shocker too... it could have been worse though... she could of ended up with a handful of cum before ANYTHING else happened. It very well could have just been the whole 2 years of trying just set him up for failure lol.. I am sorry.. its not nice to laugh.. but i cant help it.

[De and Ci]

Originally Posted by northindycpl

I can tell you that in my experience my husband would never ask me to 'pity fuck' anyone.

What would you do if he did ask you to "pity fuck" someone? Would you say yes? If not, would you get mad for him asking?
My wife thought it was a damn good idea to pity fuck this guy-he did have a big dick-we had heard that from the other couple and I saw it when it was momentarily hard. I guess he was too intimidated! It turned her on to have this guy beg for her. Is it bad to pity fuck someone? If so why? Did you ever have a bad experience pity fucking someone? Also, when we see this guy again, should my wife offer her pussy to him again because she feels so sorry for him or should she refuse? My wife also told me yesterday that years ago-when she was single-there was a guy that was begging her for about a year and half to fuck her, she wasn't that interested in him but one day she had enough of his begging-felt a wave of pity for this guy and out of the blue-offered to fuck him, they went to his house, she spread her legs for him-unfortunately he came right before he was about to enter her. A few days later he told her that never happened before-so he went to the doctor, and the doc said she should help him by giving him a second chance-but she blew him off-didn't want to deal with it. I am sharing this with you because we are planning on hittin' the regular bars to pick up lonely single guys so she can pity fuck them-I asked her do this and she said she would love to. However-is it common that guys can't get it up when you offer to pity fuck them? Or has she just been unlucky? Your advice on pity fuckin' would be greatly appreciated.

[JnCC]

Originally Posted by De and Ci

is it common that guys can't get it up when you offer to pity fuck them?

Well, if you're asking me, I'd say it happens about 100% of the time. There has to be some mutual attraction..some "heat" in the interaction with the woman...for me to perform. If I'm not feeling it during the flirting and foreplay, I don't hold out much hope that I'll feel it when we're actually trying to have intercourse.

Drugs, alcohol, stress, performance anxiety, and time-of-day are all things that can negatively affect a man's ability to have an erection. So can knowing that he's the recipient of a "mercy-fuck." You didn't say how old this guy was, but about the only time in a man's life when he can take erections for granted are the years between 12 and 25. As he ages, the range of women, and circumstances, in which he can sustain an erection narrows. Viagra can open that window somewhat, but ultimately, we cease the be the "fucking machines" we were in our 20's.

You say that "We have never expressed much sexual interest in them" and "we have always kept them at arms length." This guy probably knew, or should have known, that your wife wasn't "in to him." The fact that his dick wasn't "in to her," literally or figuratively, is the price he paid for working too hard at something that wasn't meant to be.

[Vespertine]

Originally Posted by De and Ci

We have never expressed much sexual interest in them....

Anyway we have always kept them at arms length sexually....

I explained to our friend what the deal was-she understood and we had a laugh....

So there are 3 couples-we all know each other. The other couple knows what the deal is- I explain that my wife is going to let him fuck her.

I think this guy probably knew he was getting a pitty fuck thrown at him. Not only that, but it seems to me from the above quotes that -everyone- knew he was getting a pitty fuck that night and were having a good laugh about it at his expense.

No wonder the guy couldn't get it up. He probably felt like the party's entertainment.

Originally Posted by De and Ci

My wife thinks he's not going to want to talk to us for awhile and will be embarrased to see us.

He just might not want to talk to ya'll for awhile. He's probably more than a little embarrased. His feelings are probably hurt as well as his ego.

[Just_us49]

For me personally, I wouldn't ask my wife to "pity fuck" anyone including myself. If she isn't into it I have no desire.

If I thought a gal was offering me a "pity fuck" first of all I'd turn her down flat. If I didn't turn her down and decided I was going to take her up on it, well you've heard of inverted nipples, I'd have an inverted penis. Talk about can't rise to the occasion, mine practically crawls up inside me if things ain't clicking.

It's just the way I tick, but in 38 years I've never seen a woman I'd beg to fuck. OK one in 38 years, and I married her.


just my 02 cents

-D

[northindycpl]

Since you asked the question:

My husband would never ask me to pity fuck someone. It just isn't something that would happen. I am not sure that I would be mad at him. I think I would probably just laugh it off.

I am not interested in having sex with anyone that I don't have some respect for.

Every club has a guy that begs for it. To be honest, reading your post, I immediately visualize the guy at our club that begs for it. Yes, he has a big dick. Yes, he has begged me for it since the first night I was there. Getting the attention is fun.

That is the only thing he will ever give me. I have no respect for him, big dick or not.

If pitty fucking works for you and keeps your lives filled with excitment and goodtimes, then by all means, have a go at it.

It is just not for me.