Couldn't Rise to the occasion

[Just_us49]

Female half here-

My husband would never have a women offering him a pity fuck because he is NOT the begging type. He'll let you know he's interested but from then on the women would have to offer encouragement for him to continue and he would have to feel the attraction or it WOULD NOT happen. He is not into fucking anything with a hole. He is very particular. Also, the thing that gets my man going is when the woman is turned on and enjoying it. Her pleasure is his pleasure. He is a giver in bed, not a taker, so pity fucks would not work.

As for me, I would never give a man a pity fuck. I would feel cheap and used afterwards and I would think he would too. Since getting into the lifestyle I completely undertand why people say "quality over quantity" as cliche as it sounds it is true!

-M

[De and Ci]

Jeez! We didn't tell the guy we were "pity fucking" him, that was just a phrase I picked up from northindycpl-she was using it in a obviously derogatory manner-so I decided to adopt it. Only in retrospect-did we percieve it as a pity or sympathy fuck-and only after reading your reponses. Also, we didn't tell our friends we were pity fucking him, they just figured it out-they are friends with him to, and also have been there in the past when he made many of his passes at my wife. This guy was begging for it, he had asked several times before. Just this time, she responed to his usual come-ons. I basically got the ball rolling when I suggested that he ask her to dance-she was very suggestive on the dance floor and he took it from there-he wasn't that shy-he started touching her and stuff-and she responded in a positive way. A few times he asked me-is it ok? I said "yeah-go for it". He was excited to have the oppty to do her. We didn't say "well out of pity, she is going to fuck you". Heck, I was getting hot-I love to see other men pleasuring my wife and I figured since this guy was so into her-he would fuck her brains out-of course I was wrong. Can't you guys figure that out in my original post?

[De and Ci]

Originally Posted by northindycpl

If pitty fucking works for you and keeps your lives filled with excitment and goodtimes, then by all means, have a go at it.

It is just not for me.

Thank you. I was hoping you would say something like that.

[De and Ci]

Originally Posted by Just_us49

Female half here-

As for me, I would never give a man a pity fuck. I would feel cheap and used afterwards and I would think he would too. Since getting into the lifestyle I completely undertand why people say "quality over quantity" as cliche as it sounds it is true!

-M

Yeah, well to each to his own. To most couples-the whole idea of swinging would make them feel cheap and used.

[Just_us49]

Originally Posted by De and Ci

Yeah, well to each to his own. To most couples-the whole idea of swinging would make them feel cheap and used.

You are right, they probably would. Which is why I was in no way suggesting that anybody else would or should feel cheap after a "pity fuck". I was simply stating how I would feel and how I thought the man might feel. Everybody in the lifestyle is looking for different things and are turned on by different things. (And I like to think that even if we aren't into the same things we still respect each other) When you find others who are looking for the same as you then by all means hook up and have fun. If all there were into it and okay with it then that is great. I did not mean to offend in any way and apologize if I did.

I also realize I didn't really answer the thread because I was caught up in this whole idea of a "pity fuck". I had never thought of it that way and I was just analyzing it in the light of how we operate and what turns us on.

As for you guys and this situation, I have heard of many men that can't get it up for various reasons. They all have said they felt turned on and their mind was saying "I should be hard, I want to be hard!" If it was my hubby and I we would make a point to talk to him next time like nothing happened to put his mind at ease (unless you'd rather not talk to him for awhile). Then if everybody was into trying again, go for it. If you don't want to try again just remain friends like you were before.

I hope I make sense and made myself clearer on what I said earlier.

-M

[De and Ci]

Originally Posted by Just_us49

I hope I make sense and made myself clearer on what I said earlier.

-M

Yes, everybody has different tastes and fantasies in this lifestyle. you made sense. thanx

[lovecatspurrv]

i read a few things out of the experience:
for him maybe it was a way to "keep the dream alive" once he had your wife, he would not longer be lusting for the unknown, the pressure was on for him to perform, somewhere in his head he didnt really want to.
you both have fully discovered your keenness to dominate a man lusting after your lovely lady! that is great and you should enjoy it with willing participants.
The man in question maybe also enjoys being dominant, and felt the situation was exactly the opposite!

[De and Ci]

Update:

This guy emailed us a few weeks ago, said his wife was going out town and asked if my wife would like a big cock. We spoke to his wife to make sure it was ok-she consented. We ended up out in a boat on the lake at night, It was a great 3 way, he had no problems this time. Was our first mfm. She fucked and sucked both of us off. We went back to his house, again we took turns with her, fucking her while she was sucking the other off, then switching again. We both came about 3 or 4 times, she can't count the number of times she came. Only negative was that since the bed was soaking wet from her squirting, we didn't sleep very well-couldn't keep warm.

So I guess this story had a happy ending after all

[dodgechevy]

Since it seems you didn't get an answer for your original question I might offer some. Yes it is possible for somebody to want so much that he can't get it up. I read it in some text book a while ago. Something like that someone can get so excited that it just kinda shortcircuits the wang. I've heard that a remedy would be for the guy to just relax, close his eyes, calm down his nerves and in a couple of minutes he would have been hard again. Basically he wanted it for so long that when he got it his penis went into shock :-) any who there's my 2 cents.