premature ejaculation

My husband and I are just entering into the lifestyle... we are going to our first soft swap party this weekend to get our feet wet. Wish us luck and much fun!

However, he has a problem with premature ejaculation. I am 23 and he is 26. During intercourse he can only last 30 seconds if that. If I give him a blowjob he lasts a little longer.... for about a minute or two. We have compensated this with lots of foreplay and toys for me before and after he comes until he is ready again. However, it is really embarrassing to him.

Does anyone have any suggestions to help him last longer? Do the densensitizing lotions really work? What about those OTC stamina pills? And what exactly is Viagra for? From what I am aware it is just help get an erection, but does it help maintain? He has no problem getting an erection and is ready to go again after about 5-10 minutes.

Is this a problem for a lot of men? Do a lot of women get upset with this?

Any advice is greatly appreciated.

J

p.s. I tried to register yesterday but I still haven't received the e-mail... otherwise I would not have posted as a guest.

[robnbarb]

Let me ask a question, is this everytime or just the first.

I have noticed if I get to excited I will last about 15-30 seconds but after that I am fine (with some recovery time). But I do know that some men have that problem all the time no matter how much sex they have.

[DBL D]

Pre-mature is better than Post-mature, IMHO!

Male D

[good times]

I don't know any tricks to last longer as I have the opposite problem, it takes me a quite a while. I did want to say that I doubt that Viagra would help as it is used to get and maintain an erection and for me it makes me a little more sensitive so I can usually orgasm a little quicker.

[mixedcouple3426]

Hello and welcome to the board.
Some techniques that might help your husband were discussed in this thread from the forum Male Multiple Orgasm (Holy Grail or Tall Tale?)

mixedcouple3426

[njbm]

I recommend that your husband use a condom. That should slow things down. Also, it's fun to try different types. While most people are looking for thin ones that give you some feeling, you may want to look for a thicker one.

[WesternSwing]

Like robnbarb, I cum quick the first time around, but I'm aided by a 0-recovery time and good staying power after that initial excitement is over. So I've never had any complaints.

We tried some of the condoms with a desensitizer in them to slow down the whole thing because I was worried (unfounded worries I discovered). They worked good. The only complaint I have is afterward I went back down on her and within a minute or so my lips were numb! We all four still laugh about it.

Mr. WS

[Mephisto]

Originally Posted by good times

I don't know any tricks to last longer as I have the opposite problem, it takes me a quite a while. .....

Practice, practice, practice -- desensization works wonders --

[Doug19482000]

Alcohol I 've had this problem for over 35 years. Drinking small amounts of alchol works wonders. Two or three drinks and I can afford me the pleasure of cumming when I want to. As a matter of fact if I drink a little too much I have trouble cumming. So far that has not happened yet. I'd recommed The hard stuff as beer makes your breath smell and your blatter sweell

[2much]

Doug - too much alcohol & you can't cum - isn't that called "whiskey dick"?

I have been meaning to post a similar question here - I have a similar problem with stamina, not everytime but if i get too worked up & am not drinking I usually crap out quick. now, I have always used a few tricks - biting my tongue is one, but the other is stopping for a second to "regroup;" the problem is that the wife hates the stopping. I don't know what else to try... other than massive foreplay; the other night I pleased her orally and with my fingers, taking turns with toys and having intercourse every so often for a few minutes at a time, then back to the licking facelick & toying for a long time & got her off about 6 times before I even came. Condoms help, but the numbing thing is definitely there.
If anyone has other suggestions I would love to hear as well!

[fisherman]

I read the other post interesting. My wife always wonders why i can last half hr or more when getting a blow job but only last 10 min or so during sex. Have went longer think its somewhat on the concept of the other thread but never thought of it that way. I enjoy the bj so much and shes good at it that i think or she says she can tell i hold back.

[inbeachcouple]

There's alot you can do really. A few drinks (it all depends on his tolerance) helps out alot. Get him to ejaculate a little while before you go to the party (either by himself, or with your help). Alot of it is mental too. Get him to slow down his breathing and focus on it. Long slow breaths and continuous breathing. Depending on his muscle control, if he can relax the muscle (don't remember the name) that pretty much fires off the load, it will add alot of staying power. There's a couple ways to help increase stamina too. It sucks to do at first, but when he's peeing, he should stop. Right in the middle of it. Then start back up. Repeat till he's done. This helps build up muscle strength down there. Another thing that will help, but takes time too, is for you to get him to the point where he's close to climaxing, then stop. Let him completely calm down, then start again. Keep repeating this process for as long as he lasts or the two of you can stand.

It's an old sports cliche' that holds true for sex: "You play the way you practice"