Husband forced me to have a FMF threesome

What do you do when your husband sets you up for a MMF and you don't want to ? Children are in the house in the next room. You tell your husband NO but he does it anyway. When the other man is there your husband ignores you begging him to not make you do this and starts trying to get you to do sexual things. When you refuse he makes threats like throwing you out of the house at 3:00 am. ect.. I can hardly sleep because I am always nervous about this happening again. Help.

[Concupiscence]

That's called rape and you need to call the cops on his ass and file for a divorce.

[Funcpl647]

LEAVE TODAY! Gather your children, walk out of the house and leave. For good. Find a safe place to go, call the police, get a restraining order if need be and stay gone. He's one sick bastard. No one deserves to be treated like that, especially your children. LEAVE NOW! Good luck, honey.

[Bad Sandy]

Dito

Get out. That is NOT swinging! I wish you the best.

[intuition897]

I have to wonder if this is a serious question.

If this is a serious question, I'm more concerned for your mental health. Any sane person could see that this is clearly abusive.

If this indeed happened, you need to be talking to the police - not us - about safely removing yourself and your kids from this situation. Swinging is something that happens in a loving, respectful and equal relationship. It's not about emotional battery. It's not about coercion or force. It's not about blackmail. It's not about selfishness. It's not about pretending that you can pass another human being around like a piece of meat so you can enjoy seeing them degraded. It's not about putting your kids at risk of the trauma of walking in on shit like this.

There is nothing right with this situation you've described. Absolutely nothing. I pray to God you're joking.

[Chicup]

Originally Posted by intuition897

I have to wonder if this is a serious question.

If this is a serious question, I'm more concerned for your mental health. Any sane person could see that this is clearly abusive.

Dito

[blinkey]

Originally Posted by Unregistered

What do you do when your husband sets you up for a MMF and you don't want to ? Children are in the house in the next room. You tell your husband NO but he does it anyway. When the other man is there your husband ignores you begging him to not make you do this and starts trying to get you to do sexual things. When you refuse he makes threats like throwing you out of the house at 3:00 am. ect.. I can hardly sleep because I am always nervous about this happening again. Help.

If this happened, it's a terrible crime. But could you share why you think this situation is somehow related to swinging?

[Funcpl647]

Originally Posted by intuition897

If this is a serious question, I'm more concerned for your mental health. Any sane person could see that this is clearly abusive.

Abused people are not sane. They're abused.

[Ofrdcple]

You know at first glance I thought this was a BS post, and hope is. But Funcple makes a point. We had someone very, very close to us in a relationship with someone that was unstable like this. "He" was a drug and alcohol abuser. She was a good person that was duped into marriage. When he got the marriage papers signed, and children he turned around like jeckyl and Hyde. He would get really messed up and pull shit like this...Most of it we learned about after he killed himself. At the time of the abuse she was too scared and embarrassed to let on.

He used to make threats that he was going to kill the Mrs and I, because we assisted her into getting out of this situation. The scary thing is he was unstable enough to kill himself. I don't think he would have had a problem doing something to us if the right chance came along.

She is a great mother and a wonderful person. The Mrs and I often discuss how she got herself into that. And there is no clear-cut answer. All of us have weaknesses. Most of us refuse to look at them, especially when it is easier too look at other's faults.

So I have to completely and totally agree that, “Abused people are not sane. They're abused." If there is any truth in this original post, you certainly don't need to be on a swinger’s board. A support group, the police, or some kind of mental health expert is whom you need to be talking to.

As for the rest of the board, I just thought it was a good place to post our experience with a truly abusive unstable person. If we hadn't been so close to the situation we wouldn't have believed what this guy was doing. I think sometimes when we are sputtering through life, we tend to get into a groove and think everyone is basically the same...But there are "freaks" out there. We knew one too well.

[ShellyM]

Originally Posted by Unregistered

What do you do when your husband sets you up for a MMF and you don't want to ? Children are in the house in the next room. You tell your husband NO but he does it anyway. When the other man is there your husband ignores you begging him to not make you do this and starts trying to get you to do sexual things. When you refuse he makes threats like throwing you out of the house at 3:00 am. ect.. I can hardly sleep because I am always nervous about this happening again. Help.

This is NOT swinging. These are felonies called rape and sexual assault. I can't BELIEVE that the single guy went through with this shit, I would have hit the door and probably called the police myself. They are both guilty of felony crimes and need to be prosecuted by the justice system. I don't know you, and I am NOT a counselor, this is my opinion. But you are, in my opinion, an abused wife and need to get out of this situation. In the least you need to tell your husband how you feel you were raped, and that this can never happen again.

[JTcamp05]

So this ass of a so called "husband" (i used the term, loosely) is in jail now ......right?

[MoonLightKiss]

As a survivor of abuse, I can honestly tell you there is no clear cut answer as to why women choose to stay with their abusers. The most common reason however, is fear.

Many abusers do not start hitting their victims right away. These abusers appear to be the most loving partners. Then they start on mentally abusing their victims. It is so subtle at first most women blow it off to him having a bad day. Next thing you know is the woman starts believing it. She's silly, worthless, dumb, stupid, incapable of taking care of herself. She even realizes it was her fault that strange guy checked out her ass, she must have been encouraging him and thats why her SO is mad. She doesn't tell anyone what is going on because she is just being silly. And if children are involved she feels tied to him that much more.

Then the hitting starts. Just a slap nothing more. He starts crying and saying "Oh honey, I am so sorry. I didn't mean to its just you were acting so silly." It escalates every time he hits her. And she now believes its her fault and it only happens when she is being silly or bitchy. She tells no one, because he has started convincing her no one will believe her. Now she is in fear because he says if he cannot have her noone can. She can't leave cause he will kill her. She is truly so afraid she won't leave now.

So what do we tell these women in these situations. Take it one step at a time. Rule one is to keep him placated so it does not escalate to him seriously hurting you or worse. But start to put the wheels in motion. Research safe houses, go to a nurse at a hospital and ask where an abused woman can go. Write numbers down on a piece of paper and put it under the inner sole of a shoe so when you leave you have it right there, but you husband won't find it. Pack only what you can take when you leave the first time. Do not go back to pick up anything. Call NOONE you know when you leave unless you would trust them with your life. But in no way do you call any of HIS friends or family. Do not call friends that you have that are friends with him also. Some have been known to believe him when he says he loves you and that you are unstable and then they tell him where you are. You call the police and get a restraining order once you are gone. Stay with a family member who is a man if you can. Having a man around can help you feel safer. Don't worry about money, people that love you will help you. And they will never expect you to pay them back. Don't put pride in the way of your safety. Accept the help. Seek counseling first. When you are ready, file for divorce. Then worry about a job and money.

And realize that this process can be done in one night or in one year. The time it takes to leave is different for every woman.

Like Intuition, I do hope this is some kind of joke or troll because it pains me to know there are women still stuck in these kinds of situations. If it is real, I do hope the OP will leave this man. If its not real, then thank you to the OP for bringing a closeted subject out.

[intuition897]

And a sincere thank-you, MoonLight, for your voice of experience. All the good intentions in the world aren't much good without practical advice like this.

[Tybee Swing]

Originally Posted by Unregistered

What do you do when your husband sets you up for a MMF and you don't want to ? Children are in the house in the next room. You tell your husband NO but he does it anyway. When the other man is there your husband ignores you begging him to not make you do this and starts trying to get you to do sexual things.

If this story was for real, both men were rapists. They both need to be reported, and you need to get out with your kids. It sounds like this was in your own home. That means the other rapist knows where you live. Your kids live there, too.

[Tatakai]

IF I was in your shoes I would show both the door and get a restraining order against both. Rape is rape and I don't even know what to say it gets me so worked up and Pissed off. I hate that you are in this type of situation, please take care of yourself and the kids.

Tatakai