I don't know if I can trust them

[raffette069]

hi ,everyone we been talking about swinging for several times now but we haven`tmade our move yet. My wife fantaisie is to have threesome MFM.
SHE fantaisize about a friend we known for a seven years,he`s single never been married,don`t have commited girlfriend and she likes him .WE hang out a lot with this guy ,he lives and works on the neirbghood, i don`t know if i can trust them to play fair game with me, i`m very confuse about their friendship being they like each other.We happily married for thirteen years and we have two wounderful young childrens.I Have a lot of moral and family value.WE got out to nightclub,to comedy club,we even watched porno movies together.Now one night my wife and i went to nightclub she was looking so hot,very sexy after the party at 3 am my wife asked me if we can make stop to our friend house beeing we both were`nt sleepy and he welcome us to his house anytime.He makes us some food ,asked us if we want to watch something on tv,afer flicking the channels nothing interesting .THEN he told us that he was watching a porno movie if it was ok for us to watch with him, i did`nt mind beeing was`nt the first time we watched together.WHILE we were enjoying the movie we talked about lot stuff,sex,about the movie ,exgirlfriends,boyfriends,hot conversation,he was getting horny i noticed,he was telling me how my wife was hot&sexy that i was lucky,he envies me.MY WIFE had on this sexy mini dress showing her nice breasts DD,her clivage,her high heels shoes showing her sexy legs covered with black riped fishnet,she makes every man melt and was so proud.I GUESSED everybody was turn on by watching the movie .THEN OUR friend start caressing my wife neck,playing with her hair clip she did not say nothing to him,he was so turn on he couldn`t control him self and myself I stood there with no reaction .THEN HE INVITED us to go upstairs on his bedroom that we can relax and he would not bother us he will be on the other room,but my wife did not wanted to go because she was very comfotable right there,we both men insisted .I WANTED her to go upstairs ,to see what was going to happen,i was curious but she would not move.AND then i told him i see you are very horny tonight,he said yes that he would love to kiss my wife ,he made comment that he`s good kisser and good lover.THEN I WAS SHOCK BECAUSE IN PAST HE ALWAYS TOLD ME that my wife was good friend she`s like sister to him that he would not wanted to mess up their friendship and he respect me because she was my wife ,i was disturb by that.THE DAY I CALLED HIM TOLD HIM how i felt,HE APOLOGISED TO ME HE TOLD ME THAT WOULD NOT HAPPEN AGAIN.ALSO EVEN DO MY WIFE LIKES HIM SOMETIMES I WANTED TO GO AHEAD AND HAVE OUR FIRST THREESOMES TO SATISFIED MY WIFE DREAM TO COME TRUE,BUTAN ANOTHER HAND I HAVE LOT TO LOOSE WITH THIS GUY,HIM BEEING SINGLE WITH NO STRING ATTACH,WHAT HE GOING TO THING ABOUT US. SO GUYS LET ME KNOW WHAT DO YOU THINK .

[Edison Carter]

Read what you wrote out loud and then ask this question--Does letting my wife fuck this guy sound like a good idea ?

[Spoomonkey]

Originally Posted by Edison Carter

Read what you wrote out loud...

What? Are you trying to kill the guy?



Seriously - all you had to say in this post was:

Originally Posted by raffette069

i don`t know if i can trust them to play fair game with me

If you can't trust the guy, don't go there. Plain and simple. You guys put him in a weird situation and seemed to welcome his advances up to a point. I am glad that he apologized, but have you apologized to him for showing up in the middle of the night, dressed for the club, with your wife dressed to melt?

It sure seems to me that he was toyed with a bit...

Now - if you can't trust the guy, why in the hell would you put yourself, your wife and your friend in a situation like that?

Spoomonkey

[dayhiker]

Thought I'd throw out an idea. Only you, raf, can evalue it.

In some ways your post sounds like you and your wife are close. Yet you wife's relationship with your freind is not in the acceptable monogamy model of marriage relationsihps.
How much do you know about polamorus relationships. If you read about that on the poly section of the web site .. learn the terminolgy of that lifesytle. Then re evaluate what's going on with your wife. Is she really in love with both guys? I get the feeling she might be.
Once you all learn the terminology I think you can have the ideas to talk about what is going on in your relationship. Clearly this is unknown territory for you all. You will need to read a lot and talk even more about you relationship to understand what is going on, if its acceptable to you and only then should you move forward according to the understanding you gain.

dayhiker

[SouthBond]

There are all kinds of combinations that work for love and sex but we feel that in the long run, it would be best to swing with couples. The single guy, hanging around in a long term relationship, is going to emotionally and physically attach to your wife. If you want a two husband and one wife arrangement, that's fine but usually three is a crowd.

[Lovethenights]

Go with your feelings... If you can't trust the guy (and your wife, you'll have to admit) then don't do it. If you are both sincere about experimenting with the lifestyle, then do it together at a club or a lifestyle resort where you'll have no concerns about getting into a long term emotional affair with another man involved... After you've gotten a taste of the lifestyle and how you both feel abotu it, then you can discuss letting your wife have a f***buddy with whom you're comfortable and happy. You can then set up the rules of engagement with her... Whether she can have him alone or only with you present, whether he can bring along a girlfriend for you, whether you meet at your house or his or a neutral location, etc... It's a wonderful lifestyle for those with the cautious maturity to respect their spouses and the primary relationship and then healthily indulge in another bite of pleasure...