Looking for advice on first time MFM, and pitfalls to avoid

karenmac62 · 05-18-2007, 10:22 AM

Hi,

We're a married couple from PA. Hubby has been trying to get me to have sex with another man - he wants to watch. I'm a little nervous (probably a natural feeling) but have agreed to try it. I have mixed feelings on this - sounds like it could be fun but I don't want it to ruin our marriage. Husband says there is no way he will get jealous and I agree he probably won't but who knows once it starts. He only wants to watch me with another man and has no interest in having sex with other women. I'm not sure if that qualifies us as swingers or not but figured there are lots of diverse couples here and some probably have done this sort of thing.

Can anyone give me any advice or share some of their first time experiences. Are they any pitfalls we should look for? Any help would be appreciated....

Karen

OkieOgre · 05-18-2007, 12:04 PM

I can honestly say, I love watching my wife with other men. Afterwords we have some of the most intense orgasms together. There is never any doubt in my mind that her being with him is anything more than fun, and the show is never boring!!!

I will say, be prepared to stop if things get out of hand, you and the other man should be clued in on your husbands reactions (even though that can be tough in a sexual situation).

Relax and enjoy yourself other wise and use the experience to grow closer to your husband and yourself as a sexual creature.

-Ogre

LoveBites · 05-18-2007, 12:39 PM

Well put Ogre. Agree completely.

dayhiker · 05-18-2007, 01:46 PM

Hi karen,
You got some good advice, I'll just add a couple of thoughts and info.
Some call what you and your husband are doing hotwife.
Sometimes people take things a little slower than going stright to the sex.
So go dancing and have hubby watch you get asked to dance with .. maybe dance a little dirty later in the evening. If your both end up being OK with that then move on. Ir you could do some sexual tihngs thru the web with him reading over your shoalder as a begin ...
Let us know how its goes.
dayhiker

hudsoncouple · 05-18-2007, 03:37 PM

Two more things... First, slow, slow, slow. Go for it only when you are 10000% sure that YOU want this, not just him! This should not be about him, but about the two of you. So don't go with it if you feel you are doing it for him... that will sure end up with feelings of resentment, etc. So once you are the one crazy excited about the idea of doing it with another man while your husband watches then go for it.

Another advice: Try this with a swinger single guy or even a couple. Don't do this with a guy you meet or dance with at a bar. That will increase the chances for drama and weirdness. An experienced swinger will respect your relationship and your privacy! and this for a first time couple is extremely important. Get a profile in Swing Lifestyle or something like that and you will find many single men... If you are careful and selective, you will find many experienced, decent, attractive, and discrete men you can ask out for dinner and a dance with your husband. Or visit a swing club or party with your husband, that will likely be the easiest, less work route. But don't pick up a guy at a bar! :-)

Have fun!

Lovethenights · 05-19-2007, 10:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by hudsoncouple

Another advice: Try this with a swinger single guy or even a couple. Don't do this with a guy you meet or dance with at a bar. That will increase the chances for drama and weirdness. An experienced swinger will respect your relationship and your privacy! and this for a first time couple is extremely important. Get a profile in Swing Lifestyle or something like that and you will find many single men... If you are careful and selective, you will find many experienced, decent, attractive, and discrete men you can ask out for dinner and a dance with your husband. Or visit a swing club or party with your husband, that will likely be the easiest, less work route. But don't pick up a guy at a bar! :-)

Have fun!

This is very good advice, since merely choosing a random man for your first fling is most likely going to end up in drama. On the other hand, an experienced couple who are both advised of your interests and desires well ahead of time will likely be a wonderful guide to you and your husband. Having the fourth person in the room may serve to diffuse some of the tension, and who knows, you may get so heated that you'll want to go much further. If you and your husband have discussed and agreed upon what's permissible and desirable, then the sky's the limit.

S&E · 05-23-2007, 10:04 AM

Karenmac62,

The members of Swingers Board have given you great advice. That is what I love about this site! It is now up to you to apply the advice to your endevors. No sense in re-stating there advice but I completely concurr with there recommendations to make your fantasy a pleasurable and memorable reality.

Enjoy,

S&E
Newtown, PA

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05-18-2007, 10:22 AM	#1 (permalink)
karenmac62 Awaiting Email Confirmation Join Date: May 2007 Posts: 1 Location: anywhere, mt Status: married female	Looking for advice on first time MFM, and pitfalls to avoid Hi, We're a married couple from PA. Hubby has been trying to get me to have sex with another man - he wants to watch. I'm a little nervous (probably a natural feeling) but have agreed to try it. I have mixed feelings on this - sounds like it could be fun but I don't want it to ruin our marriage. Husband says there is no way he will get jealous and I agree he probably won't but who knows once it starts. He only wants to watch me with another man and has no interest in having sex with other women. I'm not sure if that qualifies us as swingers or not but figured there are lots of diverse couples here and some probably have done this sort of thing. Can anyone give me any advice or share some of their first time experiences. Are they any pitfalls we should look for? Any help would be appreciated.... Karen
	Last edited by karenmac62; 05-18-2007 at 10:29 AM. Reason: additional thoughts

05-18-2007, 12:04 PM	#2 (permalink)
OkieOgre Registered Join Date: May 2007 Posts: 6 Location: Oklahoma City, OK Status: Triad (MFF)	Re: married couple from PA (philly burbs) - 1st time questions I can honestly say, I love watching my wife with other men. Afterwords we have some of the most intense orgasms together. There is never any doubt in my mind that her being with him is anything more than fun, and the show is never boring!!! I will say, be prepared to stop if things get out of hand, you and the other man should be clued in on your husbands reactions (even though that can be tough in a sexual situation). Relax and enjoy yourself other wise and use the experience to grow closer to your husband and yourself as a sexual creature. -Ogre

05-18-2007, 12:39 PM	#3 (permalink)
LoveBites Registered Join Date: May 2007 Posts: 3 Location: New Orleans Status: couple Swing Lifestyle Name:LoveBites	Re: married couple from PA (philly burbs) - 1st time questions Well put Ogre. Agree completely.

05-18-2007, 01:46 PM	#4 (permalink)
dayhiker Swingers Board Addict Join Date: May 2002 Posts: 237 Location: MA Status: Single male Swing Lifestyle Name:dayhiker	Re: married couple from PA (philly burbs) - 1st time questions Hi karen, You got some good advice, I'll just add a couple of thoughts and info. Some call what you and your husband are doing hotwife. Sometimes people take things a little slower than going stright to the sex. So go dancing and have hubby watch you get asked to dance with .. maybe dance a little dirty later in the evening. If your both end up being OK with that then move on. Ir you could do some sexual tihngs thru the web with him reading over your shoalder as a begin ... Let us know how its goes. dayhiker

05-18-2007, 03:37 PM	#5 (permalink)
hudsoncouple Registered Join Date: Apr 2007 Posts: 9 Location: Pittsburgh Status: Single male	Re: married couple from PA (philly burbs) - 1st time questions Two more things... First, slow, slow, slow. Go for it only when you are 10000% sure that YOU want this, not just him! This should not be about him, but about the two of you. So don't go with it if you feel you are doing it for him... that will sure end up with feelings of resentment, etc. So once you are the one crazy excited about the idea of doing it with another man while your husband watches then go for it. Another advice: Try this with a swinger single guy or even a couple. Don't do this with a guy you meet or dance with at a bar. That will increase the chances for drama and weirdness. An experienced swinger will respect your relationship and your privacy! and this for a first time couple is extremely important. Get a profile in Swing Lifestyle or something like that and you will find many single men... If you are careful and selective, you will find many experienced, decent, attractive, and discrete men you can ask out for dinner and a dance with your husband. Or visit a swing club or party with your husband, that will likely be the easiest, less work route. But don't pick up a guy at a bar! :-) Have fun!

05-23-2007, 10:04 AM	#7 (permalink)
S&E Here to Stay Join Date: Oct 2004 Posts: 41 Location: Newtown, PA Status: Couple w/Bi Curious Female Swing Lifestyle Name:BucksCoCouple	Re: married couple from PA (philly burbs) - 1st time questions Karenmac62, The members of Swingers Board have given you great advice. That is what I love about this site! It is now up to you to apply the advice to your endevors. No sense in re-stating there advice but I completely concurr with there recommendations to make your fantasy a pleasurable and memorable reality. Enjoy, S&E Newtown, PA

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