Full Swap that made for an awkward situation...

[Additude]

Originally Posted by Alura

I told him of a technique to build tongue strength, in which one licks the inside of a shot glass, beginning with ten minutes a day and increasing the time each day as the tongue strengthens. He was very diligent at doing his exercises. Mrs. Alura also coached him on exactly where to lick. He soon became much better at the art.

Same technique I employed, only I had to use a 12 oz beer glass...


OK, OK...I just had to be the first one to say it...

[it'sso]

Here's a news flash for you.
If it wasn't good for you, then you can bet that it was great for the guy, either.
I know a lot of guys can get off, even if they are only screwing a knot hole in a fence.
But, that isn't so for every guy.
If he was too small to get you going, you are likely too large to do much for him, too.
I doubt if the other couple would be offended if you and your husband decided to make this a one time encounter.

[socolais]

Whichever way you decide to go, have fun with it. I think no one would blame you if you decided that this couple is not what you're looking for - but I think it's also important to not burn any bridges. Time has a way of changing things, and sometimes for the better.

It sounds like you enjoyed the soft swap encounter with them. Maybe that's a good way to begin the next play session and then just go with the flow. I agree with the other comments about how he just might need a little instruction and guiadance from you on how to please you.

I would not want to use something like this situation as a bargining chip with my spouse and tell her that she "owes" me a particular favor in the future because of it. We both go into each play opportunity with an open mind and a blank scorecard - the scorecard always remains completely blank. Neither of "owe" the other for any past encounters.

Even when the sex is not so good, it can still be a fun time (with the right attitude).....

[kandoo]

It depends, sometimes sex for the first time with a new person can be awkward. Maybe he just felt awkward and nervous and not sure what you like and don't. Maybe next time would be better. If you really didn't enjoy it at all then don't do it again. But if it was OK, and you like the couple then try taking more control the next time so its better for you.

[shymxcpl]

What IF.....

Have you thought of doing a double threesome night. If I understand correctly, you and the other girl have played together. So why not do her husband first (and get that out of the way quickly) while your husband watches and gets in the mood and then turn on him for some action packed sexorama.

Make the best of the situation, dont you think?

[Edison Carter]

Susan here--If you're up for it, I'd try to help this other guy become a better lover. And there's always first time jitters and he seems to have had them. Best thing to do is to say,"Next time, I'd like to try things this way and I bet things will go great." I did this once and the guy really listened, was not offended and we saw them for nearly a year until they moved.

His wife thanked me saying,"I don't know what having sex with you has done, but I'm having a better time because of it." What a wonderful endorsement.

Originally Posted by SwingingForFun

The couple is actually VERY interested in playing again. She said my husband was a great fuck (can't say I blame her) and he said he knows he has to work on his stamina and that I gave a great BJ and the sex was good. Very flattering...but what he's done has worked for him and his partner for so long that I find it somewhat unbelieveable that he will "work" on anything for me. Does that make sense? The sex WASN'T good and neither was the oral. Well we chatted online and then met each other first to make sure there was chemistry before we played...there was chemistry so we played a soft swap at first and then this last time we all the way. In the soft swap I was mostly getting pleasured by my husband...this time around he was a tad busy with the other girl. My husband has already opened it for them to play with us again so they expect to play again...

What happens if you do play, and you have a talk with the other man. i.e. educate him.

Pretend for this example that you and he just started seeing each other, you think he may be a keeper and so you had (no so great) sex. Do you abort the relationship, or do you invest a bit in him (another date) to see if he can (easily) be taught how your body works, how to give you pleasure?

Communication, etc. If he doesn't know, how can he get it right? Some men, after their head stops ringing from being hit with the 2x4, turn very cooperative.

Unfortunately, you make it sound like he's incorrigible. I hope that's more of a "first impression" and you can turn this into a win-win!

[BigirlandHubby]

This seems to be a very common situation. This has happened to us with 3 separate couples. I think men just get intimidated when their wife seems to be really enjoying the other guy.

We had a couple that we were VERY in to, and became fantastic friends with before we did the full swap thing. We tried swapping 3 times, and all 3 times I got on fantastically with the other wife, and he and my wife just didn't do anything (I am a bit more endowed than him, but he also had "issues" he told us about, he said we are the same age and I am more successful and it intimidated him that I could get it up if the wind blows right).

My wife felt like she was taking one for the team because he just didn't flirt with her, or seem like he wanted to be with her (and it was really messing with her self esteem) so we stopped seeing them. I felt bad, because our last encounter was only with her (with her husband's permission of course), and we were really fantastic friends outside the bedroom, and both my wife and I had strong chemistry with the woman in bed, it was just him who didn't seem into it.

Anyway, my advice is NEVER "take one for the team". There are more fish in the sea. We had an amazing thing with a couple we were good friends with, a wife who would come over to play alone with us (our unicorn!) and we gave it up because my wife just wasn't feeling it. I still see him all the time at the gym too, so it's tough for me because I like them as people.

I suggest you move on though... Ever since we moved on we have had so much less drama in our lives, my wife's self esteem is way up, and we have met some really nice couples on Swing Lifestyle (and she is out with a "girlfriend" as we speak). If you are looking for couples, I find that finding ones you DO have full chemistry with doesn't take all that long and it's worth the effort.

[havefuninsun]

I agree with the above posts, and especially Mr. Alura's -- if you like the guy otherwise, give him a second chance. Truthfully, there have been very few times in my life that the first time I had sex with anyone (vanilla or not) that it was just awesome. I've actually come away with the thought "so, that was that?" -- for me, it's always gotten better. The more you're with someone, the more your bodies get intuned with each other.

Hopefully, he's willing to take clues and lessons as the Alura's friends were. Hard conversation? yes. But, it can be wonderfully beneficial if all goes well.

Keep us posted on what happens!

[JustAskJulie]

Reading this... I can't help but think the guy kept pulling out because he was going to cum too fast and wanted to hold it off and the only way to delay it was to stop and start again. If you do give it another try I would suggest trying to get him off orally first (or having his wife do it). If you can do this and get him to rise to the occasion again he should last longer. It sounds like he's getting more comfortable with you if he's gone from limp dick to cumming too fast.

That said, you should never be stuck taking one for the team. Yes he had a great time but you both need to have a great time. Perhaps you may want to approach the situation from the possibility of doing a threesome with just her, since you both enjoy HER. If they are open to swinging seperately this might be an option.

[bccpl77]

I know this is a little late, but if you feel there is at least some chemistry between you and the other guy, you may want to try a seperate room swap (provided you are all comfortable with that). You can take your time to show him what you like, without him feeling inferior to your husbands obviously superior performance. He seems to have stamina issues so you might also let him finish once if he feels he can recoup for a round two. Once your comfortable with each other it may be less awkward and more enjoyable for you. All that is provided you think they may be worth all the effort.

Unfortunately you are going to find something along these lines happens more often than not. We played with quite a few couples before we found people we both clicked with, both inside and outside the bedroom.

[safireblues]

This should be looked at in one of 2 ways...1) Did you have chemistry with him? 2) If you did, was it just that the sex was bad?

If you like him and you 2 have chemistry, I'd say try again. Sometimes people are with someone for a long time, and they don't know what YOU like, but that doesn't make them bad. For example, some guys like a blow job with a hand, some guys prefer all mouth. If your husband needed a strong hand to get off and you went and did the same thing to a new guy, he might hate your technique. Doesn't mean you can't suck cock, just means you didn't know the first time out how to suck HIS cock. The more experience you have sexually, the more you know the variations.

If he creeped you out or you otherwise had no chemistry, I wouldn't bother.

[safireblues]

Also, in re-reading your initial post, it all sounds like it wasn't conducive to you having a good time. Your husband really wanted to fuck the girl. You gave the other guy "a chance" to see what he could do. There's no indication that YOU wanted to fuck this guy.

If you don't want to fuck him, don't bother. The situation would naturally provoke jealousy--your husband and the woman have so much chemistry, I would think it would be hard to stand by and witness that while your husband is going nuts.

Tell your hubby you want to find a couple with a husband you find wildly attractive (or a single guy), and have that guy fuck the snot out of you in front of your husband. If he's not intimidated, I'll eat my hat!

[travcouple]

Originally Posted by safireblues

Tell your hubby you want to find a couple with a husband you find wildly attractive (or a single guy), and have that guy fuck the snot out of you in front of your husband. If he's not intimidated, I'll eat my hat!

I wouldn't be. We have been in a MFM situation many times and have yet to be with a couple or another woman. I love watching my wife getting pleasured any way she can.

[safireblues]

I meant "a couple", as in if they had the reverse situation, she and the other husband have crazy chemistry and is pounding away, while her husband feels merely lukewarm about the woman. I think that's a naturally intimidating situation.

Just one man fucking your wife (if that turns you on) can be really hot, just hard to compete when the couple next to you is so into each other and the other 2 are merely "eh".