Questin about "Taking One For The Team"

[Liutas]

Here's a scenario:

Let's say we meet a couple. The Mrs. is really into the lady, so so about the gentleman. I'm diggin' the lady. She's willing to play with him in order to play with her. I'm just gonna play with her (I'm like that. I don't do dudes. Sorry, not my thing. If it's yours, that's cool, it's just not mine. I don't want this to turn into one of THOSE threads.)

So, is she "taking one for the team"? Or is she "taking one for herself" since she's getting something out of it too (her wanting to play with the lady and all)?

[sexcupid]

Well...I would call it taking one for the team...because you are playing with a couple, not a single female.

If she's not that into the guy...but you are both into the girl, where does that leave the other male? Sitting on the sidelines? Dealing with a partner (your wife) that he will be able to tell isn't that into him, but is all over his wife? I mean, people can pick up on subtle (and not so subtle) hints that their partner truly isn't digging them or is more interested in what is going on across the room.

Personally, I wouldn't go there again...we've been there once or twice and it was no fun.

Maria

[des1re06]

You said she was "so so", not that she didn't like him at all. So, that would be different for me. Let's face it, we're not getting married to them. Sometimes the guy may not be "hot" or "drop dead gorgeous", but he's nice and funny and he has girth and knows how to use it. All redeeming qualities!

This is about SEX.

I'm not looking for my perfect mate here, I'm looking to have fun in the bedroom.

You never know what that vibrator will do for you until you take it out of the package either.

Just my 2 cents.

Mrs. D

[ShellyM]

Originally Posted by Liutas

Here's a scenario:

Let's say we meet a couple. The Mrs. is really into the lady, so so about the gentleman. I'm diggin' the lady. She's willing to play with him in order to play with her. I'm just gonna play with her (I'm like that. I don't do dudes. Sorry, not my thing. If it's yours, that's cool, it's just not mine. I don't want this to turn into one of THOSE threads.)

So, is she "taking one for the team"? Or is she "taking one for herself" since she's getting something out of it too (her wanting to play with the lady and all)?

I don't think this is because she is playing with someone she is truly attracted to. Now with Jay and I, we are both pretty much straight; I will play lightly with ladies but I am very up front in letting ladies know that I'm very bi passive. So I am into the hubby. In my mind taking one for the team would be like Jay and the wife have great chemistry and its not there for hubby and I....to the point where normally I would say no to play...but since Jay and she are having such a great time I play with him anyways. But if the wife in your scenario played with the lady and had alot of fun I don't see that as taking one for the team honestly.

[iapr]

Just reverse things a little bit and pretend that you just read your message only it was the other couple that wrote it and they were talking about having to "put up with" you in order to play with your wife. How would that make you feel?

I don't know if I would say she is so much taking one for the team but rather "paying the piper" so to speak. As a male half if I knew someone was feeling this way about me I would pass on playing with them rather than feeling like I was just something that people had to tolerate to get a peice off my wife. My wife would also be pretty offended if she thought that I was just some kind of obsticle that had to put up with to get to her.

I will be the first to admit that it is real hard to find a 4 way click when dealing with couples but there are so many fish in the sea why not try to find one where everyone can be treated with dignity and respect.

[Mrs Spoomonkey]

Originally Posted by Liutas

Here's a scenario:

Let's say we meet a couple. The Mrs. is really into the lady, so so about the gentleman. I'm diggin' the lady. She's willing to play with him in order to play with her. I'm just gonna play with her (I'm like that. I don't do dudes. Sorry, not my thing. If it's yours, that's cool, it's just not mine. I don't want this to turn into one of THOSE threads.)

So, is she "taking one for the team"? Or is she "taking one for herself" since she's getting something out of it too (her wanting to play with the lady and all)?

I had to think about this one a little. There are so many different play scenarios that you can have from, "OMG he is so damn hot where's the room", to "he's kind of cute and I like his personality enough to play".

I think that when you take one for the team it means that you aren't into the person that much or at all and you are just doing it so your spouse can play with the other spouse. Yes we have done it and funny enough on the same night with the same couple but that is an entirely different story. That is never good but I think it is a mistake a lot of people make when they first get into the lifestyle...we don't do it anymore.

If your wife was interested in the guy enough to play with him (she's a big girl and can make those decisions herself), to in turn get to play with the wife in a big pile up of the four of you then it isn't taking one for herself or the team. I won't have sex with someone that I am not attracted to and I know Spoo wouldn't want me to either. As long as she doesn't go home and think "why in the hell did I ever go into a room with him" and she can have good thoughts of a fun sexual experience then I say let her make that decision.

Sometimes when you're at the club and you meet a couple it might just be a matter of...we're here to have sex, you've connected enough with a couple to chat for a while and they are on your "attactive radar" enough to want to go to a room...good enough. It's not always going to be bells and whistles it's just going to be raw, fun sex with a couple you want to have raw, fun sex with for the night.

Mrs Spoomonkey

[ShellyM]

Love the avatar gorgeous!

[Spoomonkey]

Originally Posted by ShellyM

Love the avatar gorgeous!

We took it last night. I mentioned that she needed a new avatar, so we snapped off a few pics. She's been working out a lot lately and this really shows off her hard work. I actually put the avatar up for her, since the picture kind of makes her blush, but I think she looks amazing. And to have a 51-year-old who looks like she can bench press a car - or star in a porn movie... Well, I just had to show her off

End

Spoomonkey

[ShellyM]

Originally Posted by Spoomonkey

We took it last night. I mentioned that she needed a new avatar, so we snapped off a few pics. She's been working out a lot lately and this really shows off her hard work. I actually put the avatar up for her, since the picture kind of makes her blush, but I think she looks amazing. And to have a 51-year-old who looks like she can bench press a car - or star in a porn movie... Well, I just had to show her off

End

Spoomonkey

I think she is absolutely gorgeous. 21, 31, 41 or 51 thats a good looking ass woman! Oh and Spoo. My son walked by (he cannot read and so we type around him lol)...he LOVES the purple monkey. Yes, sorry for thread jacking! My bad, end of that LOL.

[ShellyM]

In regards to taking one for the team, its just never good. In my opinion if I would not normally play with either of the couple its just bad mojo. We have made this mistake...you wake up the next morning really kicking yourself in the ass. I did this when we played with a friend and her husband. I would never in a million years had sex with this man. I still cringe when I think about it, it made me feel dirty....my advice is just don't do it.

[des1re06]

And to have a 51-year-old who looks like she can bench press a car - or star in a porn movie... Well, I just had to show her off

You and she have every right to show off! Woohoo!! Gorgeous lady. I woulda said 26.

Mrs. D

[Randies']

Originally Posted by Liutas

Here's a scenario:

Let's say we meet a couple. The Mrs. is really into the lady, so so about the gentleman. I'm diggin' the lady. She's willing to play with him in order to play with her.

Mrs Randies' here.
Perhaps it is just a case of "Do what you need to do so that you can do what you want to do!"

Sometimes adults and/or women need to remember this both in swinging and in the real world.

[Pepper & Drew]

Originally Posted by iapr

Just reverse things a little bit and pretend that you just read your message only it was the other couple that wrote it and they were talking about having to "put up with" you in order to play with your wife. How would that make you feel?

As a male half if I knew someone was feeling this way about me I would pass on playing with them rather than feeling like I was just something that people had to tolerate to get a peice off my wife. My wife would also be pretty offended if she thought that I was just some kind of obsticle that had to put up with to get to her.

I will be the first to admit that it is real hard to find a 4 way click when dealing with couples but there are so many fish in the sea why not try to find one where everyone can be treated with dignity and respect.

Nobody said the hubby was treated like a leper....just that there was more attraction to the wife than to the hubby. This same situation has happened to us a few times. Typically, I end up having a far better time with Mr. Playmate than I initially thought, and attraction grows. Now, if the guy is a total troll, I don't care how hot she is .

You can treat someone with dignity and respect, and have a pretty good time even if you're not just completely hot for them.

Pepper

[Randies']

We to have to agree.
Mrs Spooooooo la la!! You do have the right to show off girl!

[pervgeeks]

We've done that and never again. I thought that dynamic wouldn't be a big deal because I'm bi and into playing with the ladies as well, BUT, what I did find was that unless I was just as physically hot for the guy a couple of things happened: 1.) his personality quirks were magnified to the point of driving me nuts 2.) I felt a little weird when the other lady was very hot and passionate for my husband and I just didn't feel the same towards hers. It was like I was just going through the motions and not getting my share so to speak. We played a couple of times and liked them as people, but decided it just best not to continue because of this. There's too many people out there and life's too short to take on for the team.