Husband plays alone but I'm not allowed to

[texascouple_200]

My husband and I have been in the lifstyle for about 2 years and during this time he's has played alone several times in fact 9 times to be exact. One of the women he played with fell in love with him we have since ended that relationship.I have never played with another man. I have only been in 3 somes with him and other women. I don't understand why my Husband get's upset that another man would want to be with me.. I have no issue with him playing alone and I have no desire to be with another man and told my husband so. So why does it bother him to think that I might be with another man? Thanks for your imput...

[grandshaft05]

your husband should play the same for you whats good for the goose should be good for the gander

[DGrey]

Sounds like he's looking for a one-sided open relationship. If he's out there with other women, he should have no problem with the idea of you being with another man. I understand that you have no desire to, but should the situation ever arise, he should be as fine with it as you are.

E

[funfriends15]

We agree. We started because my wife wanted to experience other women. Although we haven't played often, after further discussion, we have ended up playing with bi/f couples so that we could both have our fun. So far, it's worked out very well for us, with neither experiencing any jealousy issues. We figured fair is fair and if we were going to do this, both of us should get to share equally.. It doesn't sound right to be so one sided ... Ask him exactly what his issue is about your playing with other men and go from there. If he's living out his fantasies through the lifestyle, then BOTH OF YOU should get to live out any fantasies you might have, or stop altogether.

[telly2]

I have to agree with DGRAY, He is out for his. In this situation, i would put it to him, Either we play with couples, or nothing at all. You will see his true colors at that point. If he is in this to cheat, then there are bigger fish to fry. I hope this all works out, but i would cut the lifestyle out if he doesn't want this to play both ways.
Chantal

[LFM2]

Originally Posted by texascouple_200

My husband and I have been in the lifstyle for about 2 years and during this time he's has played alone several times in fact 9 times to be exact. One of the women he played with fell in love with him we have since ended that relationship.I have never played with another man. I have only been in 3 somes with him and other women. I don't understand why my Husband get's upset that another man would want to be with me.. I have no issue with him playing alone and I have no desire to be with another man and told my husband so. So why does it bother him to think that I might be with another man? Thanks for your imput...

with DGrey. Sounds a little lop-sided to me. It sounds like he's in this lifestyle for him, and not for the two of you.

I'm not sure if you're playing with FMF's was the brainchild of the both of you or not, but did you two never think of playing with couples or a MFM?

I'm guessing your husband is probably upset because he's jealous and immature and in this lifestyle for the wrong reasons.

Personally, you're situation would never fly in my house. If I let Mr. LFM play alone several times, it would be like me giving him permission to cheat.

[prettylady]

Time for this cowboy to man up.
Your friend,
Prettylady

[magnum]

Originally Posted by texascouple_200

My husband and I have been in the lifstyle for about 2 years and during this time he's has played alone several times in fact 9 times to be exact. One of the women he played with fell in love with him we have since ended that relationship.I have never played with another man. I have only been in 3 somes with him and other women. I don't understand why my Husband get's upset that another man would want to be with me.. I have no issue with him playing alone and I have no desire to be with another man and told my husband so. So why does it bother him to think that I might be with another man? Thanks for your imput...

It should be a two way street, if he can play alone you should be able to play alone. It sounds like it could be a control issue?

Good luck

[Chicup]

Originally Posted by texascouple_200

My husband and I have been in the lifstyle for about 2 years and during this time he's has played alone several times in fact 9 times to be exact. One of the women he played with fell in love with him we have since ended that relationship.I have never played with another man. I have only been in 3 somes with him and other women. I don't understand why my Husband get's upset that another man would want to be with me.. I have no issue with him playing alone and I have no desire to be with another man and told my husband so. So why does it bother him to think that I might be with another man? Thanks for your imput...

Because he is insecure and assumes that some day you might want to make your relationship 'even' and have other men. You say you don't want to play with other men, and for you that may be true, but he sees it from his perspective and his perspective is there is no way he would let you play with a man and would be really pissed off if you told him he couldn't play with other women while you played with your men.

Welcome to the harem

[ohash01]

But along with the "insecure"...I would tend to say that he's also a wee bit controlling. It's your choice in an open relationship as to whether or not you want to find others to play with. If you choose not to, hey, there's nothing wrong with that. However, you should have the option. What if one day down the road you meet a man that you just HAVE to hook up with? It'd be only right for you to be "allowed" to do so.

If I were you, I'd sit down with him and discuss. Tell him how you feel. Like..."Right now, I have no desire to be with anyone else, but if I do down the road, it's only fair that I be allowed to explore. I've been okay with you doing so for (length of time)."

[intuition897]

Well...confront him. "What makes it okay that you should be able to put your penis in another woman's body, but you freak out at the idea of another man putting his penis in me?? What's the difference?"

Fair's fair.

[LikeMinds321]

Originally Posted by texascouple_200

...So why does it bother him to think that I might be with another man?

Why guess, why have us guess? Ask your husband.

If you don't want to be with another man, why are you bringing this up to your husband after giving him the okay to play alone with other women - 9 times to be exact - over the past two years?

You must have some point in bringing this topic up to your husband at this point. What do you hope to achieve or change about your present situation?

LM

[Mr. Truelove]

While I want to agree with what most people have posted before I do feel that it is important for each person to feel comfortable. If he doesn't feel comfortable with it you certainly shouldn't "guilt" him into it by saying that it's only fair because I did it for you. That sort of guilt trip will only hurt your relationship with him.

It's a difficult situation. I think this can only be resolved by you two talking it out thoroughly.

I'll be honest, the thought of a MFM just doesn't do anything for me yet. If my wife would propose the idea of it to me I would consider it, but I just don't know if I would want to have that. Selfish? Might be, but if I do it against my own will, I doubt we would be having a very good time.

We like full swap. I am unsure about wanting a FMF because I like the idea of the other couple being in a secure relationship and not having to worry so much about a single female that is looking for more than just fun.

Have you asked him why he doesn't want any play for you with the men? Does he have some insecurities about being around other men in a sexual setting? Does he have worries that you might fall for one of them? Is he not wanting you to be roughed up?

You need to ask him these questions. If you get answers to that maybe we can help him deal with them, but until then, you must abide by his wishes not to play with men. Just as if you felt uncomfortable with the FMF that you could "veto" play in that regard.

Respecting eachother, trust, and communication are key parts of swinging. I encourage you to talk to him about it.

Mr. Truelove

[RandH]

Originally Posted by telly2

I have to agree with DGRAY, He is out for his. In this situation, i would put it to him, Either we play with couples, or nothing at all. You will see his true colors at that point. If he is in this to cheat, then there are bigger fish to fry. I hope this all works out, but i would cut the lifestyle out if he doesn't want this to play both ways.
Chantal

I agree. It's reasons like this that we always play as a couple. Whether we're with another couple or a single....WE are always together. Besides...it's infinitely more enjoyable for us to watch each other get off!!!

[texascouple_200]

I appreciate all you imput but first and formost I have talk to my husband about this from the beginning. And I am not trying to guilt him into anything by telling him because he has been with other women that I should be able to be with other men. And no he does not have a problem with being around other men in a sexual situation. He has been in a mfm before. Once again thanks for all your imput...