only attracted to one 1/2 of the cpl

kinkyfun · 07-09-2006, 08:10 PM

What do you do if you are attracted to only one 1/2 of a couple? Do you not play with either of them, suck it up and play with both, or should I just be completely honest with them?

Thank you in advance for any help!

I guess I should add that we are both attracted to the female but not the male. I know that doesn't make a difference, but thought I would add that.

meandher2go · 07-09-2006, 08:33 PM

would depend on how much i didnt like the other half and how much she was into the guy

Pepper & Drew · 07-09-2006, 10:07 PM

I would say we probably wouldn't play. It's commonly referred to as taking one for the team and just about everyone that's been in the lifestyle for a while has a story about being in that situation, and what they learned from it. Quite frankly, if one of us is turned on and the other totally isn't, "sucking it up" and playing anyway sucks. Really, really bad. We have enough friends now that we both enjoy playing with that it doesn't really make sense to play with someone we're only half attracted to. But, your mileage may vary.

Pepper

LOL_OMG · 07-09-2006, 10:27 PM

Since this is about both of you and there are alot of couples out there, I would just explain that the chemistry just isn't quite there. Heck I can have a great time at home, why would I want to have a bad time just cause I don't want to be up front.

kinkyfun · 07-09-2006, 10:48 PM

Thank you so much to everyone that has offered their opinions so far.

tribbles · 07-09-2006, 11:27 PM

First....find out if they play separate! Maybe you can have an awesome 3-sum!

If not, then you have to decide what works for you. We play and usually have fun anyway. But we don't play separate so, there is always someone close who turns me on!

S

LetsParty · 07-09-2006, 11:46 PM

Mark here!

This happens sooooooo much with us... it's terrible!

Luckily the other couple is always attracted to us.
I like 95% of the women

My life-partner usually doesn't like the guy.

I understand why. I know enough about women to understand my partner.

In these cases, we have two solutions:

1 - My partner says, "Go ask them to have a threesome"
or
2 - We try to lure the woman over to have a threesome with us.
We were lucky last Saturday! She came over alone!

That was fun!

...but I won't let my spouse take one for the team. It's not nice. Although damn tempting!!! Happened last weekend. Nothing happened. Maybe I'll go there for a 3some if they invite me... my partner is totally cool with that......

WesternSwing · 07-10-2006, 01:47 AM

Wow, there are allot of dyanamics going on here because there are four people involved.

Would they be okay if they split-up and only one of them played?

Mrs. WS and I don't have a problem playing alone, but is has to work for the other couple, also. This doesn't always mean that we both get some that night, either.

If they are okay with it, and you are to, then go for it. BUT, everyone involved has to be onboard with it.

Mr. WS

EvilMJ · 07-10-2006, 10:50 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by WesternSwing

Wow, there are allot of dyanamics going on here because there are four people involved.

Would they be okay if they split-up and only one of them played?

Mrs. WS and I don't have a problem playing alone, but is has to work for the other couple, also. This doesn't always mean that we both get some that night, either.

If they are okay with it, and you are to, then go for it. BUT, everyone involved has to be onboard with it.

Mr. WS

Dito

There is one couple in particular that I like to fill in as a third from time to time. They are have become good friends of ours but they only play with bi sexual women right now.

**LFM2** · 07-10-2006, 03:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kinkyfun

What do you do if you are attracted to only one 1/2 of a couple? Do you not play with either of them, suck it up and play with both, or should I just be completely honest with them?

If I was not interested in one of them, I'd be willing to let Mr. LFM play with them. That would fulfil one of my other fantasies by watching him play with another couple. At least he would be having an awesome threesome and I'd be as excited as hell watching!

If one of them wasn't interested in us, it wouldn't hurt our feelings to hear, "Sorry, but we just don't think we click."

Either way you go, I'd be honest After all, you'd want the other couple to be honest with you, right?

I really hope that this post doesn't make it sound like I'm contradicting myself... I know what I want to say, but putting it on for everyone to see is a different story. I can just hear my english professor all over again!!

Mr&MrsSwing · 07-10-2006, 05:29 PM

TOTALLY agree with pepper and drew. NO taking one for the team, it just ends up...gross from my experience with it. I felt dirty, i remember getting ready for them to come over and not being excited at all, dreading this guy. So I don't recommend.

Mrs

JP51 · 07-11-2006, 12:03 PM

My kind and loving wife did it once took one for the team...boy did that start a fight... I was so pissed that she did that! Heck we are in this for the fun and if we are both not having fun then it a no go period!

NCcuriouscpl · 07-26-2006, 09:47 PM

We totally agree. In our short experiences, we have had that problem more than once......it's usually hubby doesn't get turned on by the female. I do, and I MAY not get turned on by the male! So....if the guys want to watch all is cool. But, it always turns bad in the long run........

Better to try to find a couple that works for both of you!

Spoomonkey · 07-27-2006, 07:17 AM

We wouldn't play. We have actually had this happen a couple of times and most often it is the man who Mrs Spoo just isn't into. The worst though was a couple at a club we were visiting. There was something about me and the woman and we had chemistry so strong there seemed to be sparks flying from across the room...

But - the guy really flipped Mrs Spoo's switches to "dry".

We had to beg off. They were pretty persistent and we finally just had to tell them the truth - which didn't seem to sit well.

Spoomonkey

Amanda69 · 07-27-2006, 07:53 AM

We also wouldn't play, my time of taking one for the team is long over. It just didn't work out when that happened...better off finding a couple you both suit. It isn't always easy, first finding 4 people who are all attracted to each other and then a night when all are in the mood....

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07-09-2006, 08:10 PM	#1 (permalink)
kinkyfun Registered Join Date: Jul 2006 Posts: 5 Location: Belcamp Status: couple	only attracted to one 1/2 of the cpl What do you do if you are attracted to only one 1/2 of a couple? Do you not play with either of them, suck it up and play with both, or should I just be completely honest with them? Thank you in advance for any help! I guess I should add that we are both attracted to the female but not the male. I know that doesn't make a difference, but thought I would add that.
	Last edited by kinkyfun; 07-09-2006 at 10:48 PM.

07-09-2006, 08:33 PM	#2 (permalink)
meandher2go Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Jun 2005 Posts: 307 Location: mass Status: Couple	Re: only attracted to one 1/2 of the cpl would depend on how much i didnt like the other half and how much she was into the guy
	__________________ .

07-09-2006, 10:07 PM	#3 (permalink)
Pepper & Drew Mmmmm...tasty! Join Date: Jun 2004 Posts: 1,035 Location: Hurricane Alley Status: Couple Swing Lifestyle Name:alhedonists	Re: only attracted to one 1/2 of the cpl I would say we probably wouldn't play. It's commonly referred to as taking one for the team and just about everyone that's been in the lifestyle for a while has a story about being in that situation, and what they learned from it. Quite frankly, if one of us is turned on and the other totally isn't, "sucking it up" and playing anyway sucks. Really, really bad. We have enough friends now that we both enjoy playing with that it doesn't really make sense to play with someone we're only half attracted to. But, your mileage may vary. Pepper
	__________________ "Swinging is a lot like riding a Harley, ...for those who understand, no explanation is necessary; for those who don't, no explanation is possible." --Mr. Alura

07-09-2006, 10:27 PM	#4 (permalink)
LOL_OMG Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Dec 2005 Posts: 1,005 Location: where we're at Status: Couple Swing Lifestyle Name:LOL_OMG	Re: only attracted to one 1/2 of the cpl Since this is about both of you and there are alot of couples out there, I would just explain that the chemistry just isn't quite there. Heck I can have a great time at home, why would I want to have a bad time just cause I don't want to be up front.
	__________________ Somebody better go back and get a shitload of dimes!!!

07-09-2006, 10:48 PM	#5 (permalink)
kinkyfun Registered Join Date: Jul 2006 Posts: 5 Location: Belcamp Status: couple	Re: only attracted to one 1/2 of the cpl Thank you so much to everyone that has offered their opinions so far.

07-09-2006, 11:27 PM	#6 (permalink)
tribbles Fun and Pleasure Join Date: Mar 2005 Posts: 950 Location: SouthWest Status: Couple	Re: only attracted to one 1/2 of the cpl First....find out if they play separate! Maybe you can have an awesome 3-sum! If not, then you have to decide what works for you. We play and usually have fun anyway. But we don't play separate so, there is always someone close who turns me on! S
	__________________ Evel Knievel died of natural causes.

07-09-2006, 11:46 PM	#7 (permalink)
LetsParty Here to Stay Join Date: Jul 2006 Posts: 47 Location: Vancouver Status: Couple	Re: only attracted to one 1/2 of the cpl Mark here! This happens sooooooo much with us... it's terrible! Luckily the other couple is always attracted to us. I like 95% of the women My life-partner usually doesn't like the guy. I understand why. I know enough about women to understand my partner. In these cases, we have two solutions: 1 - My partner says, "Go ask them to have a threesome" or 2 - We try to lure the woman over to have a threesome with us. We were lucky last Saturday! She came over alone! That was fun! ...but I won't let my spouse take one for the team. It's not nice. Although damn tempting!!! Happened last weekend. Nothing happened. Maybe I'll go there for a 3some if they invite me... my partner is totally cool with that......

07-10-2006, 01:47 AM	#8 (permalink)
WesternSwing South of disorder Join Date: Mar 2004 Posts: 2,973 Location: Utah Status: Single Male	Re: only attracted to one 1/2 of the cpl Wow, there are allot of dyanamics going on here because there are four people involved. Would they be okay if they split-up and only one of them played? Mrs. WS and I don't have a problem playing alone, but is has to work for the other couple, also. This doesn't always mean that we both get some that night, either. If they are okay with it, and you are to, then go for it. BUT, everyone involved has to be onboard with it. Mr. WS
	__________________ "Sex is something you do, sexuality is something you are." ~ Anna Freud

07-10-2006, 05:29 PM	#11 (permalink)
Mr&MrsSwing Here to Stay Join Date: Dec 2005 Posts: 37 Location: usa Status: couple	Re: only attracted to one 1/2 of the cpl TOTALLY agree with pepper and drew. NO taking one for the team, it just ends up...gross from my experience with it. I felt dirty, i remember getting ready for them to come over and not being excited at all, dreading this guy. So I don't recommend. Mrs

07-11-2006, 12:03 PM	#12 (permalink)
JP51 Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Mar 2006 Posts: 176 Location: Texas Status: Couple Swing Lifestyle Name:jimdebra1	Re: only attracted to one 1/2 of the cpl My kind and loving wife did it once took one for the team...boy did that start a fight... I was so pissed that she did that! Heck we are in this for the fun and if we are both not having fun then it a no go period!

07-26-2006, 09:47 PM	#13 (permalink)
NCcuriouscpl Active Member Join Date: Jun 2006 Posts: 36 Location: Concord, NC Status: Couple Swing Lifestyle Name:FantaseaCpl	Re: only attracted to one 1/2 of the cpl We totally agree. In our short experiences, we have had that problem more than once......it's usually hubby doesn't get turned on by the female. I do, and I MAY not get turned on by the male! So....if the guys want to watch all is cool. But, it always turns bad in the long run........ Better to try to find a couple that works for both of you!

07-27-2006, 07:17 AM	#14 (permalink)
Spoomonkey Chimpin' Ain't Easy Join Date: Jan 2004 Posts: 6,739 Location: Ohio Status: Married Monkeys - will you be our vine? Swing Lifestyle Name:Spoomonkey	Re: only attracted to one 1/2 of the cpl We wouldn't play. We have actually had this happen a couple of times and most often it is the man who Mrs Spoo just isn't into. The worst though was a couple at a club we were visiting. There was something about me and the woman and we had chemistry so strong there seemed to be sparks flying from across the room... But - the guy really flipped Mrs Spoo's switches to "dry". We had to beg off. They were pretty persistent and we finally just had to tell them the truth - which didn't seem to sit well. Spoomonkey
	__________________ "Eros will have naked bodies; Friendship naked personalities." - C. S. Lewis

07-27-2006, 07:53 AM	#15 (permalink)
Amanda69 Swingers Board Addict Join Date: May 2006 Posts: 907 Location: Mississauga, ON Canada Status: couple	Re: only attracted to one 1/2 of the cpl We also wouldn't play, my time of taking one for the team is long over. It just didn't work out when that happened...better off finding a couple you both suit. It isn't always easy, first finding 4 people who are all attracted to each other and then a night when all are in the mood....
	__________________ Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one's definition of your life; define yourself. "Harvey Fierstein"

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