only attracted to one 1/2 of the cpl

[BBVixen23]

I would not "take one for the team" and I wouldn't expect him to either. In the same regard, I'd be highly irritated if I even suspected my "play partner" was taking one. I'm a BBW and Mr. Vixen is your average Italian hunk. It's amazing that some think because I am heavy, I'll take anyone... Um...I don't think so.

There isn't anything wrong with not being attracted to someone. If you're not though, why would you waste not only your time, but theirs?

[C & J Ohio]

This is one of the toughest dilemmas for couples who only swing together. When we meet a couple alone for drinks the rule is simple -- we do not go to the next level unless all four agree. No exceptions. The dilemma cums up at on premise swing clubs and conventions. Conversations, dancing, and other interactions, don't necessarily happen by couples only there. Sparks can start to fly with one half of a couple before the other half has much of a chance to get acquainted. That is when taking one for the team sometimes happens with us. It is usually not great for one of us, but the alternative often is not playing at all that night. Better for one partner to have some excitement than neither. Our main event, however, cums afterwards, with each other.

[janaandjames]

We have both "been willing" to take one for the team, but have not done so ... one time hubby was very turned on by a lady we met, and i didnt care for her husband at all, but i was willing ... hubby was very pleased with my offer, but declined ...
we were both so turned on by each other;s kindness that we went home and fucked each other silly

[mollyandchris]

We've been in that situation before a few times and have usually decided to just go for it no real damage is done.

Molly & Chris xx

[nimbis43]

We've been in this situation many times. Mrs. Nimbis is VERY selective, which I respect. After all this is supposed to be about fun and fantasy and taking one for the team is neither. We've never taken one for the team and never will. We are currently in this exact situation with a couple. We have a couple that is interested in us where the wife is very attractive and sweet. Her husband however is a short, loud mouth, braggadocios, domineering, obnoxious, overbearing jackass. I'd love to knock his block off, but Mrs. Nimbis and Mr. Jackass' wife have become very good friends. So for us it's strictly plutonic with Mrs. Jackass, unfortunately. What a waste. My advice is don't do it, you'll regret it later.

[RDfnd]

Our one experience of that sort was unpleasant enough that we've agreed to avoid it at all cost.

[JnCC]

To anybody who thinks it's OK to say to a couple, "We like you, but not you. Would you mind asking your partner to wait outside while we played with just you?" I have just one question...

What do you do when you're only attracted to 1/4 of the couple? For example, what if the woman has a great body, but a face that would send a freight train up a dirt road, and you don't like the guy at all?

What do you do then?

Would you say, "We like you, but not you. Would you mind if he waited outside while we played with just you? And would you mind wearing a paper bag over that (pointing to her face) until we're done, because we don't find that attractive either?"

My point is that you "take people as you find them." In swinging, they're usually couples, and until they indicate otherwise, should always be regarded as such. If and when one of them appproaches and says "I find you attractive" you may assume that they're offering to play alone. Until then, you should assume that they're a team, and that any attempt to interact with one absent the other will be met with disapproval.

[TwoLittleBirds]

As beginners, we'd probably back off. In fact, when we are in a gray area, and can't decide which way to turn, we are backing off. Until we get more experience, we (or at least, I) feel that's best for now. Both of us do not want to hurt anyone's feelings.
Mr. Little Bird

[2jersey]

Originally Posted by kinkyfun

What do you do if you are attracted to only one 1/2 of a couple? Do you not play with either of them, suck it up and play with both, or should I just be completely honest with them? Thank you in advance for any help!

I guess I should add that we are both attracted to the female but not the male. I know that doesn't make a difference, but thought I would add that.

We don't play unless we are each attracted to our opposite sex counterpart. She has to like the male, he has to like the female.

It is not necessary that she be attracted to the female (our focus is on heteroesexual play), but she can reject a couple if she really dislikes the female (happened once - the female had a very quirky personality which only he was willing to overlook).

[Menage_a_Trois]

Originally Posted by JnCC

To anybody who thinks it's OK to say to a couple, "We like you, but not you. Would you mind asking your partner to wait outside while we played with just you?" I have just one question...

What do you do when you're only attracted to 1/4 of the couple? For example, what if the woman has a great body, but a face that would send a freight train up a dirt road, and you don't like the guy at all?

What do you do then?

Would you say, "We like you, but not you. Would you mind if he waited outside while we played with just you? And would you mind wearing a paper bag over that (pointing to her face) until we're done, because we don't find that attractive either?"

My point is that you "take people as you find them." In swinging, they're usually couples, and until they indicate otherwise, should always be regarded as such. If and when one of them appproaches and says "I find you attractive" you may assume that they're offering to play alone. Until then, you should assume that they're a team, and that any attempt to interact with one absent the other will be met with disapproval.

Kudos to you JnCC - You are MY hero! and a single to boot that TOTALLY gets the "Couples" thing!

What I (we) find to be extremely offensive is when a couple or single trys to carve out one of us to play alone (and it's happened to all of us - not just us girls) - it's just down right rude in our book. We are there as a couple/triad - than means we are there to experience this together not seperately or alone but TOGETHER! If the notion strikes to go it alone - that is our choice and should NEVER be an assumption by someone else.

What amazes all three of us is the number of couples we have met who are inconsiderate, selfish and rude in that they want what they want without consideration for others feelings. What I mean to say is - we all want what we want - it's is our preferences and that is fine - but what we feel is wrong is when you want what you want and to try to obtain it at all costs to others feelings, etc. for explain couple A goes to a club and meet couple B - they talk - couple A finds they really are only interested in the female of couple B - so in their mind they are justified in asking to play with the female of couple B even to the point of being down right rude to the male of couple B. These people don't even realize how harsh and offensive that is to most people, yet this same couple A would be pissed if anyone dare do this to them.

Again JnCC I cannot express my joy in reading your post to this thread.

The Other Mrs. Menage

[ShellyM]

Originally Posted by kinkyfun

What do you do if you are attracted to only one 1/2 of a couple? Do you not play with either of them, suck it up and play with both, or should I just be completely honest with them? Thank you in advance for any help!

I guess I should add that we are both attracted to the female but not the male. I know that doesn't make a difference, but thought I would add that.

Welcome to our world!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
lol. We agreed that we would not "take one for the team", and so this poses a difficult situation sometimes. This is why 3somes are so popular and easier, its hard to get 4 people who all are attracted.

[WA_Cple]

This is often a problem for us. The F half of the couple is very attractive to us both but I (Mrs WA) am not often attracted to the M half of the couple.

Since we primarily swing in order to play with that Elusive Bi-Female, then we are just upfront with the couple and let them know that we are primarily interested in the lady but are more then happy for the hubby to join us to watch or engage in foreplay/sex with his wife. I have had many a lovely swinging moment that found me sitting and watching my husband have an incredible 3some with a lovely lady and her umm... ordinary husband

On the other hand, we have had a few situations where I (Mrs WA) found both the halfs of the couple extremely sexy and that situation has been equally yummy.

I guess we're sort of flexible in our desires but have our limits as well

By the way - I haven't posted in ages and have never been a big contributor to the board but it is good to see so many familiar "faces"!



Mwa!

Mrs WA