"Taking one for the team"

[2jersey]

Originally Posted by poster_guy03

I'd take your bet as a sure thing! For evidence, just look at the profiles found on swinger personals sites. It seems to me that a high percentage of the profiles with pics have pics that emphasize the wife and minimize the husband. I often wonder what that strategy is about. Most of my experience and reading indicates that women are in the swinging drivers seat. Who are those female-only-pic profiles trying to market to?

Tangential to the topic at hand - but good questions regarding the motivational aspect of "female-only-pic profiles".

We don't like profiles without male photos! Our quick/random thoughts regarding the motivation behind these profiles (we are probably leaving out some good explainations):

Female bisexual play is at the core of what interests some couples - ergo the focus on female attractiveness and female photos?

Males are viewed as less attractive (and often are) in relation to females - some couples choose to advertise only their greatest asset?

Some couples invoke the male's relatively greater need for discretion as a reason to hide male photos.

Males (primarily) screen the online ads, and males are solely attracted to female photos.

Some males are threatened by profiles with display attractive male photos - possibly a male ego thing.

There is a rationalization that females are less stimulated by visual elements, and care more about the wording of an online profile - ergo, no need to show male photos.

~Our online profile includes an equal number of male and female photos, and always will....

[Tantra]

Originally Posted by poster_guy03

It seems to me that a high percentage of the profiles with pics have pics that emphasize the wife and minimize the husband.

I agree that this is awful. I despise the idea "this is all about/for the ladies" and the ladies don't seem to mind this at all. When was the last time you heard about a group of ladies approach the lifestyle with "it's all about the men".

[Couple_N_Ark]

I'm not sure that either of us have ever taken "one for the team". Lisa is a nice looking 42 yr. old that gets hit on by the hottest studs, as well as others who are more average.

After all the experiences we've had, and basing her comments on that....oftentimes Lisa will make a comment when an average looking guy hits on her that he'll probably know what he's doing better than the young studs.

I guess in short she has been more "satisfied" by the avg. looking guy, than she has been by the young nice looking guys.

That is not to say that we would "do anyone", because we wouldn't. If someone is nice, funny, CLEAN, and seems reasonably intelligent then there is a good chance we'd play with them.

One thing that would turn us away is someone who is obviously not clean, has body odor, and you may laugh, but if they had bad teeth it would turn us off. They could be beautiful people and dressed nicely, but if the teeth are bad, it would turn us off.

Here's another question, which I hope is ok to post in this thread. We're basically discussing who we'd have sex with, so I'm wondering here. What if the same person that you'd not have sex with (taking one for the team) offered you a million dollars to have sex with them.

I bet most of you would do it, and probably enjoy it??

I think there was a thread either on this site or another site that posed a similar question and I think most said they would do it.

[Couple_N_Ark]

Originally Posted by Tantra

I agree that this is awful. I despise the idea "this is all about/for the ladies" and the ladies don't seem to mind this at all. When was the last time you heard about a group of ladies approach the lifestyle with "it's all about the men".

Well as long as we keep mama happy in this house then we're all happy.

I think women hold most of the cards in the lifestyle.

Look at it this way, without the women then us men, instead of being the male half of a couple suddenly became the dreaded "single male".

But the female half becomes the coveted single female.

[NandTfromCA]

Originally Posted by Couple_N_Ark

What if the same person that you'd not have sex with (taking one for the team) offered you a million dollars to have sex with them.

Cash or check?

Originally Posted by Couple_N_Ark

I think women hold most of the cards in the lifestyle.

That’s what we heard when we first looked into, and got into the lifestyle but I can’t say that it has been our experience. Most of the couples we meet are pretty equally motivated and have an equal say about who they play with.

There are times we have met couples where the woman clearly runs the show, and other times we have seen the man running the show. Doesn’t seem to be predominantly one way or the other though. We need a bigger sample size to draw valid conclusion ...
...not going to ask a fisherman though

[2jersey]

Originally Posted by Couple_N_Ark

Here's another question, which I hope is ok to post in this thread. We're basically discussing who we'd have sex with, so I'm wondering here. What if the same person that you'd not have sex with (taking one for the team) offered you a million dollars to have sex with them.

I bet most of you would do it, and probably enjoy it??

I saw the movie (Indecent Proposal) - interesting question... I'll bite (so to speak)...

Woody went psycho/drama because he did not know what was happening with Demi. And Demi kept her encounter with Redrord a secret - no communication - bad news!

If you're talking Robert Redford, I'll need at least a 50% premium to the million bucks (I saw the movie - he's negotiable). George Clooney (my male crush) - free sex, and I'll probably leave him a tip (as long as he doesn't speak)! Hmmm... Brad Pitt - despite the critical acclaim, he can't have me at any price - yuck, not my type! Catherine Zeta Jones (my female crush) - yum, I have a spare million bucks for her!

[WesternSwing]

To us, "taking one for the team" probably means what it does for many others here: having sex with someone you are only marginally, if at all, attracted to so that your spouse can have sex with someone that really turns them on.

Nope, we won't go there either.

Mr. WS

[WesternSwing]

Originally Posted by xxoticangel

Question 2

If your partner is very attracted to someone and you find the spouse just OK do you go ahead and play or wait until you find a couple that your both have the same level of attractivenes too?

I don't have to be totally into the woman to have sex with her. If there is enough attraction to spark my interest, and my wife is really into the guy, then it's game-on. If I'm not attracted at all... then no deal. If it's okay with the other wife Mrs. WS can play with the other guy alone.

So I won't take one for the team, but I'm not going to prevent Mrs. WS from having a good time with someone she really wants just because of me.

Mr. WS

[WesternSwing]

Originally Posted by Couple_N_Ark

Here's another question, which I hope is ok to post in this thread. We're basically discussing who we'd have sex with, so I'm wondering here. What if the same person that you'd not have sex with (taking one for the team) offered you a million dollars to have sex with them.

Of course. I may be picky, but I'm not stupid.

Mr. WS

[Couple_N_Ark]

Originally Posted by NandTfromCA

Cash or check?

That’s what we heard when we first looked into, and got into the lifestyle but I can’t say that it has been our experience. Most of the couples we meet are pretty equally motivated and have an equal say about who they play with.

Our comment about women controlling things was meant more towards if someone actually swings, and where would men be without their wives.

It wasn't aimed towards the decision making process as to who you meet, once you have "become" swingers.

[EvilMJ]

Originally Posted by WesternSwing

Of course. I may be picky, but I'm not stupid.

Mr. WS

My thoughts exactly

[xxoticangel]

I think women hold most of the cards in the lifestyle.

I have to agree. Mr Xxotic can find something attractive about almost any woman. I, on the other hand, am very picky so it is mostly my decision who we play with. He has used his veto powers a couple of times because of a bad vibe from guy but never because he wasn't attracted to the girl.

[Lawguy]

[QUOTE=Couple_N_Ark]
Here's another question, which I hope is ok to post in this thread. We're basically discussing who we'd have sex with, so I'm wondering here. What if the same person that you'd not have sex with (taking one for the team) offered you a million dollars to have sex with them.

I bet most of you would do it, and probably enjoy it??QUOTE]

ANSWER: I've never met a person who had a million dollars to pay for sex who wasn't drop-dead gorgeous.

[Couple_N_Ark]

[QUOTE=Lawguy]

Originally Posted by Couple_N_Ark

Here's another question, which I hope is ok to post in this thread. We're basically discussing who we'd have sex with, so I'm wondering here. What if the same person that you'd not have sex with (taking one for the team) offered you a million dollars to have sex with them.

I bet most of you would do it, and probably enjoy it??QUOTE]

ANSWER: I've never met a person who had a million dollars to pay for sex who wasn't drop-dead gorgeous.

Have you ever seen a pic of the richest man in America (maybe the world), Bill Gates? He may not be a dog, but he is certainly NOT drop dead gorgeous.

[DBL D]

Originally Posted by xxoticangel

I have to agree. Mr Xxotic can find something attractive about almost any woman. I, on the other hand, am very picky so it is mostly my decision who we play with. He has used his veto powers a couple of times because of a bad vibe from guy but never because he wasn't attracted to the girl.

There's something about this that I can relate to. Also, Fem D would know not to choose a hubby whose wife she knew I wouldn't like so I wouldn't have to say NO.

Male D