Wife can't handle seeing/hearing husband being pleasured

09-09-2000, 09:25 AM

You're welcome, Amy! ;-)

modi · 09-09-2000, 11:56 AM

Just thought I'd throw my 2 cents into the pile being new to the message board, though y'all have pretty much said it all!
My hubby and I absolutely will NOT swing unless in the same bed. When we swing, we feel we are still making love to one another and want to be able to reach out and touch each other at any time.
This way, Julie, there is no jealousy or feeling of neglect from anyone. We aren't "swapping", but are engaged in a 4some!
We have found a couple of other couples who love this as well and all find great satisfaction and the ultimate in eroticism when we swing like this.
I should mention that one reason this works so well is that I am very bi and we only swing if the other wife is bi as well. So sex with another couple for us really is kinda a tangle of bodies! LOL Much fun for all!

***JustAskJulie*** · 09-09-2000, 01:01 PM

Again it goes back to everyone has to find what works best for them. It may take a little trial and error to do that.. but hey even that can be fun

Amy · 09-13-2000, 12:36 AM

YES! Modi said it well. My husband and I see making love with our friends as still making love with each other. The last time we were with them the other husband and I wound up in the bedroom ahead of my husband and the other wife. Our play led us to sex before they entered the room and we didn't want to wait. While it was still wonderful, there was a key element missing! We had not finished when they finally came in and I really relaxed and enjoyed it more when they did.

Sweetdevil · 10-06-2000, 03:54 PM

I have read all the post and there is a sticking point, which happen more times than I care to remember. Swinger's wanting other swingers to view the lifestyle as they do. The reasons I have seen are lack of trust and too much jealousy.

Trusting one's partner is paramount! Now I know people will say they trust their partner but when you examine their reason(s) for having a closed relationships, is the lack of trust. Not wanting their partner to give/get better/more sexual pleasure from another; afaird that their parnter will leave them.
The latter is a important concern but it should have been taken care of before any couple get into swinging. So communicating your true feelings and reason(s) for swinging before and after each time is very important.

As far as jealousy is concern, too much will destory any realtionship and more so in swinging. But as a paradox, I have grown to believe that some jealousy can assist in keping swinging in it's proper perspective.

We have have been in the lifestyle for more than ten years, though, we have not swung all ten years. We have grown from closed swinging to open swinging separately with a partner from a couple we know. We have done the house party scene. We have gone to both off-premise and on-permise clubs. All has been done with the understanding that we will respect and trust each other and come back together as one after we are finish swinging.

I will end this but will finish with how we webt from close to open swinging.

MiCpl · 01-29-2001, 04:15 PM

I don't think that other swingers necessarily need to see things our way but at the same time we look for swingers who do. I think there are different types of swinging.. probably as many as there are people.. but you have couples who are interested in full swap, couples who only want soft-swing, voyeurism and you have polyamorous couples.. couples who are looking to develop deep relationships with friends that extend to the point of loving them. We love our friends but we don't look at them as tho they are on the same level as each other. We have a very special relationship and no other is going to compare with that. When we have sex with others it is just that sex no matter how close our frienship might be. However, I will say that sex with friends is better than sex with someone you don't really know.. and it does usually make your friendship stronger.. so there is a difference.

S&J

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09-09-2000, 01:01 PM	#18 (permalink)
*JustAskJulie* Your Hostess Join Date: Nov 2002 Posts: 22,307 Location: Alabama Status: Female SLS Name:swingersboard Blog Entries: 59	Again it goes back to everyone has to find what works best for them. It may take a little trial and error to do that.. but hey even that can be fun __________________ Julie Owner/ Admin http://www.swingersboard.com

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09-09-2000, 09:25 AM	#16 (permalink)
CyberMWCouple Posts: n/a	You're welcome, Amy! ;-)

09-09-2000, 11:56 AM	#17 (permalink)
modi Active Member Join Date: Sep 2000 Posts: 14	Just thought I'd throw my 2 cents into the pile being new to the message board, though y'all have pretty much said it all! My hubby and I absolutely will NOT swing unless in the same bed. When we swing, we feel we are still making love to one another and want to be able to reach out and touch each other at any time. This way, Julie, there is no jealousy or feeling of neglect from anyone. We aren't "swapping", but are engaged in a 4some! We have found a couple of other couples who love this as well and all find great satisfaction and the ultimate in eroticism when we swing like this. I should mention that one reason this works so well is that I am very bi and we only swing if the other wife is bi as well. So sex with another couple for us really is kinda a tangle of bodies! LOL Much fun for all!

09-13-2000, 12:36 AM	#19 (permalink)
Amy Active Member Join Date: Jul 2000 Posts: 10	YES! Modi said it well. My husband and I see making love with our friends as still making love with each other. The last time we were with them the other husband and I wound up in the bedroom ahead of my husband and the other wife. Our play led us to sex before they entered the room and we didn't want to wait. While it was still wonderful, there was a key element missing! We had not finished when they finally came in and I really relaxed and enjoyed it more when they did.

10-06-2000, 03:54 PM	#20 (permalink)
Sweetdevil Here to Stay Join Date: Jul 2000 Posts: 132 Location: Clinton Twp., MI Status: Couple	I have read all the post and there is a sticking point, which happen more times than I care to remember. Swinger's wanting other swingers to view the lifestyle as they do. The reasons I have seen are lack of trust and too much jealousy. Trusting one's partner is paramount! Now I know people will say they trust their partner but when you examine their reason(s) for having a closed relationships, is the lack of trust. Not wanting their partner to give/get better/more sexual pleasure from another; afaird that their parnter will leave them. The latter is a important concern but it should have been taken care of before any couple get into swinging. So communicating your true feelings and reason(s) for swinging before and after each time is very important. As far as jealousy is concern, too much will destory any realtionship and more so in swinging. But as a paradox, I have grown to believe that some jealousy can assist in keping swinging in it's proper perspective. We have have been in the lifestyle for more than ten years, though, we have not swung all ten years. We have grown from closed swinging to open swinging separately with a partner from a couple we know. We have done the house party scene. We have gone to both off-premise and on-permise clubs. All has been done with the understanding that we will respect and trust each other and come back together as one after we are finish swinging. I will end this but will finish with how we webt from close to open swinging.

01-29-2001, 04:15 PM	#21 (permalink)
MiCpl Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Jun 2000 Posts: 106 Location: MI	I don't think that other swingers necessarily need to see things our way but at the same time we look for swingers who do. I think there are different types of swinging.. probably as many as there are people.. but you have couples who are interested in full swap, couples who only want soft-swing, voyeurism and you have polyamorous couples.. couples who are looking to develop deep relationships with friends that extend to the point of loving them. We love our friends but we don't look at them as tho they are on the same level as each other. We have a very special relationship and no other is going to compare with that. When we have sex with others it is just that sex no matter how close our frienship might be. However, I will say that sex with friends is better than sex with someone you don't really know.. and it does usually make your friendship stronger.. so there is a difference. S&J