Can you just come back for him later?

[starlinn]

I am going to make this as short as I can. Met a couple on line that lives about an hour away. We have met with this couple on two occations, and everyone seemed to get along and are interested in each other. Heavy flirting, petting, etc...The husband calls yesterday and asked to meet at their house in the evening, kids are gone. I was like WOW, cool. Hubby was also excited. We get there, drinks, chat, flirt, etc... Wife leaves to get something to drink and hubby follows. Hubby comes out and blurts, " Although I would love to be with you, my wife isnt interested in you." (meaning me, starlinn) Although a little shocked, because of the heavy flirting, I am respectful enough that I would never want someone to take one for the team.
The biggest shock was what he said next: "My wife is interested in him (mrstarlinn) and wants to be with him. If you want, you can come back and pick him up and we would BE KIND ENOUGH to return the favor in the future." (meaning he would be on loan to us) Before a word comes out of my mouth, mrstarlinn is up and demanding where all this is coming from, they knew what we were looking for, this was never discussed, etc...
The husband of the couple kept appologizing as we were leaving, saying the wife really isnt into the bi thing.
I am racking my brain, wondering if this was always the motive behind the whole mess. There was never any indication that they had alterior motives, or that we gave out any signals that this set up would be a possibility. Mrstarlinn is so angry because of the time wasted, and the disrespect. I am still in shock.
Do you think this was on their minds all along?

[DarkandPatent]

Starlinn, I cannot speak for that couple and say what was on their mind. Based on your retelling of the events it Does seem as though they were not "completely" forthcoming with their desires. It is no fault of yours that they withheld this valuable piece of information.
I am sorry that you have been so disrespected.

[JustAskJulie]

So not cool. They should have let you know where they stood before they ever invited you over. What I don't get is, so what if she's not into the bi thing, why can't all 4 of you play together, swap, etc without her having to play with you?

[robel12550]

Could it have been when push comes to shove, she finally realized that the "fantasy" of a bisexual encounter was more intriguing than the potential "reality"? The other wife might truly have been interested in the possibility on the previous meetings, but when it actually was knocking on her own door decided that maybe it wasn't that good of an idea.

As I read it (for what that's worth) she might have gotten a case of the cold feet when the moment of truth arrived. As I just wrote to someone else earlier today, Life has a way of changing on you as time moves on. Who is to say that in the future she might become intrigued again and will take you up on your flirtatious advances.

The only thing that somewhat bothers me is that the other husband (from what you wrote) basically asked you to leave the premise while they had some fun with your husband. What if you wanted to watch? I thought that was fairly rude.

On the other hand, your husband was "up and demanding where all this is coming from", which sounds pretty confrontational. Again, not knowing exactly what transpired before this climatic announcement, it might have been a valid response, but personally I could only see myself thanking them for their time and deciding to move on (if the mrs. didn't want to watch this one out or we couldn't talk them into just staying with our representative spouses).

So in reading your rendition, I'm not certain you were "disrespected", but were somewhat rudely treated and possibly by someone who really didn't know how to handle his wife's split second decision change. But as I look at the swingers listings, there are probably plenty more folks out there if those can't float your boat.

[michelle101]

If she had second thoughts on your third meet, well, that sucks, but I can respect that, but to ask you to leave so they could play with your husband alone is disrespectful to you. I believe your husband was right to have a confrontational response to this. Treat Mr.101 with such a lack of respect, and you can bet your ass I'm going to be pissed. There are plenty of single men out there if that is what they were interested in. If they aren't interested in us as a cpl, then don't waste my precious babysitter time. To find out the 4 of us just don't click is one thing. I don't consider that a waste of my time. But if they had something other than a cpl in mind, they should have been up front about it during initial conversations. If it's a case where she is having second thoughts about the Bi thing.... that's fine, nothing to be ashamed or embarrassed about, just speak up, say what you feel and most people will respect you for that.

[starlinn]

Originally Posted by JustAskJulie

So not cool. They should have let you know where they stood before they ever invited you over. What I don't get is, so what if she's not into the bi thing, why can't all 4 of you play together, swap, etc without her having to play with you?

My thoughts exactly. If they had called and said they were only interested in mrstarlinn, that would have been the time to kindly bow out. To us, they called us, invited us to their house, and then hit us with what they really wanted.

[starlinn]

Originally Posted by robel12550

Could it have been when push comes to shove, she finally realized that the "fantasy" of a bisexual encounter was more intriguing than the potential "reality"? The other wife might truly have been interested in the possibility on the previous meetings, but when it actually was knocking on her own door decided that maybe it wasn't that good of an idea.
She told us that she was bisexual and had experiences. Not to mention, we were flirting quite a bit.
As I read it (for what that's worth) she might have gotten a case of the cold feet when the moment of truth arrived. As I just wrote to someone else earlier today, Life has a way of changing on you as time moves on. Who is to say that in the future she might become intrigued again and will take you up on your flirtatious advances.

The only thing that somewhat bothers me is that the other husband (from what you wrote) basically asked you to leave the premise while they had some fun with your husband. What if you wanted to watch? I thought that was fairly rude. I was told to leave "if I wanted" meaning, either leave or stay on the porch. At least that is what we got out of it.

On the other hand, your husband was "up and demanding where all this is coming from", which sounds pretty confrontational. Again, not knowing exactly what transpired before this climatic announcement, it might have been a valid response, but personally I could only see myself thanking them for their time and deciding to move on (if the mrs. didn't want to watch this one out or we couldn't talk them into just staying with our representative spouses).I should have used the words "strongly questioned" and yes he was ticked, more so then he let on. The reason was is I was told to leave and was being used as a taxi service.

So in reading your rendition, I'm not certain you were "disrespected", but were somewhat rudely treated and possibly by someone who really didn't know how to handle his wife's split second decision change. But as I look at the swingers listings, there are probably plenty more folks out there if those can't float your boat.

I did not mention that we never seen the wife again after that. She was in the house and we were in the sun room. So you see, it looked like they went in, she said to get rid of me somehow so she could be with mrstarlinn and her hubby.

[EvilMJ]

I have to agree with you Starlinn. It is one thing to come out and say that you are not interested in the bi thing and just want to swap, or even to say in advance that you are only looking for a man to play with. However, to come out the way they did, invite you to your home and then basically ask you to leave so they can play with your husband is disrepectful and hurtful.

I know my husband would have done the same thing and we would have immedately left the house. We have no time fo people who are deceitful and rude. Best thing is to move on and put this behind you. There are better couples out there to deal with. In my opinon (such as it is ) their motives are irrelevant, it is their actions that speak volumes.

[starlinn]

Thank you Evil.
The husband has emailed two times and asked me to call him at work. I havent done it yet. Im not quite sure what to say yet.

[JustAskJulie]

I really don't think you should call him. To me the fact that he is emailing YOU (I assume and not you as a couple) continues the disrespect.

[mysticmind]

If any contact goes on, I would have you and the Mr talk to him at the same time, if at all. Seems to me that y'all were clear about what you wanted. I just don't understand it myself. I don't like playing games, and it seems that is what this couple was doing. Maybe a thanks but no thanks email from both of you, then block them. I'm sorry you went through this.

[HappyPeople]

The answer is simple enough... Some people just don't have any manners or class.

Write them off and move on with your lives.

[BorisNatasha]

Never attribute to malice what can instead be explained by stupidity.

Sounds to me like the other couple just didn't know how to handle the situation, and the husband probably got ambushed by his wife and screwed up the situation even worse than it already was. Bummer!

Look on the bright side... your husband stood up for you both and you left the situation instead of making an even bigger mistake. Seems like you and hubby are on the same page and that's a good thing. Too bad the other couple isn't as in tune as you are.

Boris

[Dr Jekyll]

Daft pricks... Nuff said.