She wants to swing but doesn't want him to play

[022054]

Here's the deal.....
I want to experiment... I would like myself and my husband with another woman, but I don't want my husband to touch her, only watch. He agrees, he would love to "just watch". But, I also want me, hubby and another man. The husband is strictly aginst this. Any help out there?

[LevKamensky]

Originally Posted by 022054

Here's the deal.....
I want to experiment... I would like myself and my husband with another woman, but I don't want my husband to touch her, only watch. He agrees, he would love to "just watch". But, I also want me, hubby and another man. The husband is strictly aginst this. Any help out there?

i think you are well aware of the answer.

[LevKamensky]

Now you see why there are so many adds for MFM and so few for FMF. The woman wears the pants.

It’s ironic how the married men playing alone is vilified “we have too much integrity to help him cheat”, while the single men are more than welcome to help the women make fools of their husbands. At least make it even.

[Sweet_Candy]

Welcome! You've come to the right place for info. Selfish comes to mind, both partners should be happy. You already know the answer.

Sweet

[kevin&danielle]

Huh? What? More MFM ads than FMF ads. My woman is making a fool of me when she has MFM's. I had no idea

[LevKamensky]

reportedly so. i also noticed the trend.
MFM vs FMF

[DBL D]

Originally Posted by 022054

Here's the deal.....
I want to experiment... I would like myself and my husband with another woman, but I don't want my husband to touch her, only watch. He agrees, he would love to "just watch". But, I also want me, hubby and another man. The husband is strictly aginst this. Any help out there?

I Love that word...experiment!

When I would talk to Fem D about being with another lady (in the distant past) she said the same thing. Didn't want to smell any-thing about her, etc! Now that time has passed and she hopefully knows now more than ever that this "experimenting" is just for fun and that she'll always have me she definitely has softened her opinion. Hopefully the same thing will happen with you. You won't have near as much fun and you will find out just how much your man is willing to take if you don't...in my humble opinion.

I can't blame your hub for his feelings either, especially in light of your feelings, but you'll both have to grow a bit. Put yourself in someone elses underwear for a minute. How would you feel if someone approached you with a proposition like this? Take my word for it...there is nothing like being comfy enough to do things together.

Didn't mean to come on too strong. I say all this with the most respect for you.

Male D

[Spoomonkey]

Originally Posted by 022054

Any help out there?

I am not quite sure what kind of help you are asking for. He has the same rights as you do as you guys approach the ideas of swinging. He will set boundaries as they are comfortable for him - just as you are going to set yours. The job, then, is for you both to respect each other's boundaries.

I think the two of you have a lot of communication to do before you take the "big step".

Spoomonkey

[Mike and Jan]

Now it may just be that he's afraid to admit to you, and himself, that being with another man might be interesting.

Try sharing some erotic stories that contain MFM threesomes with M/M activities. And, most importantly, let him know just how 'hot' you think it'd be to see him. You've got to convince him! Most guys are just so homophobic.

[Pinmonkey]

Originally Posted by 022054

Here's the deal.....
I want to experiment... I would like myself and my husband with another woman, but I don't want my husband to touch her, only watch. He agrees, he would love to "just watch". But, I also want me, hubby and another man. The husband is strictly aginst this. Any help out there?

Which one of you are you refering to with the title selfish? It sounds like you want to be with another woman, while your husband just watches. Which he is cool with. But it also sounds like you want to be with another man while you're husband again is sort of on the sidelines. It sounds to me that you get the thrills of being with other people while you are limiting you're husband's playmates. I think he has every right to say that he doesn't want you with another man, just like you don't him to be with another woman.

[DBL D]

Originally Posted by kevin&danielle

Huh? What? More MFM ads than FMF ads. My woman is making a fool of me when she has MFM's. I had no idea

She is! (if she won't let you touch the other man!)

Male D

[BiNWAR]

She is human cut her some slack for being one sided....Im sure hubby is thinking that he would like to be with another women, instead of just watching, but is unable to tell her that because he is afraid of hurting her feelings....least she has the balls to admit to it....

As for women wearing the pants and making the decisions who to swing with, maybe some do make all the decisions if thats the case, then the man needs to get with it and put his foot down but again that their choice!....some men like to have a second man join him and his wife (me and my hubby for one) I am NOT making a fool of my hubby, in fact, HE is the one that wanted another man to fuck me.....so if im making a fool of him, i better let him know pretty quick cuz he never lets me do that even out of the bedroom.

I wouldnt suggest swinging right now for them, it doesnt sound like communication is a big factor when it comes to swinging decisions....

[starlinn]

Originally Posted by 022054

Here's the deal.....
I want to experiment... I would like myself and my husband with another woman, but I don't want my husband to touch her, only watch. He agrees, he would love to "just watch". But, I also want me, hubby and another man. The husband is strictly aginst this. Any help out there?

I hear alot of I wanna, but what does your husband wanna?
As far as wearing the pants, I prefer no pants at all, and hubby is crazy about it!

[txduo2000]

This is one of those things that has bothered me for a very long time, since we started swinging in fact. There is no way I (fem) would EVER expect to enjoy a MFM, or group or swapping or anything that involved sexual contact between me and another person, without allowing my husband to enjoy the same thing from his perspective. NO WAY! And going to clubs and parties and different swing events has shown me that this is VERY common practice .... husband's just stand around while the wives run amock! > This, to me, is very wrong. And I believe that most, if not all, of these husbands are simply tolerating something that they are not happy with in order to keep their wives happy. Some might call this noble and sacrificing ... I call it selfish on the wives' part and downright stupid on the husband's part.

This is a lifestyle that has no rules, no specifics. You make it what you want out of your comfort levels. But I do agree that it is completely selfish to expect to enjoy what you are not willing to extend to your spouse.

Sorry if this was strong and harsh, but this is something that hits a nerve with me.

[TNT]

Originally Posted by LevKamensky

Now you see why there are so many adds for MFM and so few for FMF. The woman wears the pants.

It’s ironic how the married men playing alone is vilified “we have too much integrity to help him cheat”, while the single men are more than welcome to help the women make fools of their husbands. At least make it even.

EXCUSE ME! I DO NOT make a fool out of my husband when he watches me with another man, and he DOES NOT make a fool out of me when I watch him with another woman. We share the experience with each other.

From what I have seen and from all the people that I have talked to FMF ads and those looking for that elusive single female (bi or not) are much more prominent than MFM. It is however much easier to find someone for a MFM threesome therefore more people participate in this.


To the OP....respect and communication are very important in swinging. It can't be about what I want, it has to be about what we want. If your husband is not comfortable with the idea of you with another man you have to respect that. You obviously are not comfortable with him and another woman so this should be easy for you to understand.

Talk, talk and then talk some more. Find the boundaries that you are both comfortable with before you start to experiment. Always remember that each other must come first.

Teresa