What if your partner is.....

[FloridaFlirt]

...attracted to one or both of the other couple, but you aren't? Do you go ahead with the playtime?

Rooster (my partner) and I have run into this a few times, and while it seems he had a good time with the female, I end up with a dud in the sack for the male

So...what do I do? Go along with it because it makes him happy?

Thanks in advance....

[Spoomonkey]

Originally Posted by FloridaFlirt

So...what do I do? Go along with it because it makes him happy?

Nope...

We found ourselves "taking one for the team" early on - and we decided it just wasn't worth it. One night, we actually BOTH took one for the team, thinking the other was interested in playing... It was pretty funny on the ride home when we actually realized what had happened

We usually have such great communication...

Boy - did we ever goof that one up!

It takes longer to find a couple that you are both interested in, but it is worth the wait.

Spoomonkey

[good times]

Dito what Spoo said for us, it didn't take us long to figure out that taking one for the team just isn't fun for either of us. Even though it is pretty funny later when you find out you both did.

For us at least, a lot of the enjoyment is derived from seeing our mate enjoying themsewlves. So if it isn't good for both of us it really isn't any good for the other either.

[EvilMJ]

I have to agree with Mr. Spoo. YOu don't take one for the team...try to find a couple you both enjoy...otherwise what is the point!!

Take the time to 'shop around', it will be worth it.

[bear_n_bunny]

At the risk of being wildly redundant, no, neither of you should "take one for the team". Bunny and I have little signals we pass to each other in situations like that to let the other know if we are interested in a particular person.

Of course, we don't usually do the "hook up at the club" thing either. When we meet a couple, the first time is just a "get acquainted" thing, with the rule being no playing on the first date, so to speak. That way we have plenty of time to determine if either of us are interested in the other couple. For that matter, this also tells us if either or both members of the other couple are interested in us.

If there is interest all around, a second meeting is arranged, and play takes place. On the other hand, if there is an issue of any sort, we have time to deal with it and no one is put in any uncomfortable situations.

Another angle I've not see addressed here is, what happens if both of you are interested, but only one of them is interested in return, i.e., it's the other way around.

Bunny and I had this happen once at a club. We met up with several couples we knew, and they had brought along two new couples. Well, this one guy and Bunny really hit it off in a big way. But I took one look at his wife, and it was clear she had no interest in me at all. Which was too bad for Bunny and "John", as we also have a rule that says we both play or neither of us does. Sort of a reverse on not "taking one for the team".

It would be interesting to hear how you all deal with THAT situation.

-- Bear

[Spoomonkey]

Originally Posted by bear_n_bunny

At the risk of being wildly redundant...

I think this is one of those issues that deserves the occassional "wild" redundancy!

Originally Posted by bear_n_bunny

...we also have a rule that says we both play or neither of us does. Sort of a reverse on not "taking one for the team".

It would be interesting to hear how you all deal with THAT situation.

This is pretty tough to spot, honestly. And we've had it happen to us...

Click here for the ugly details...

But - we agree with your rule. We play together only. So, for us, if there isn't a four-way chemistry, from either direction, then we all need to just play pool...



Spoomonkey

[looking2swing]

We only play when both of us are attracted to the other couple. I guess that it is a good thing that we always agree.

[Mrs Spoomonkey]

Originally Posted by FloridaFlirt

Rooster (my partner) and I have run into this a few times, and while it seems he had a good time with the female, I end up with a dud in the sack for the male

So...what do I do? Go along with it because it makes him happy?

If you are both attracted to the other couple and then get in the room and the guy or the girl ends up to be a dud for you there isn't much you can do until that particular play time is over. That happened to us once and the guy was so quick that me and him ended up sitting there watching Mr Spoo and his wife.

Point is don't go there again!!

You may accidentally take one for the team since you don't really know how someone will be until your in a full play situation but I wouldn't continue to have either of us "take one for the team" with a couple.

Mrs Spoomonkey

[parcarcaliente]

Everybody have said it, and of course the answer is no no, both enjoy it or nothing else happens, of course don't start anything, because it would make the other couple feel bad about it. I think you must be honest and tell them what happens, or if you're too shy, you may do a discrete exit and look for a better couple.

Take care

[ALilOEverything]

I agree with all of the above. This is about doing what feels good and right, anything less would leave me feeling used and empty. And I wouldn't want him to feel that way either. If we felt like we had some kind of obligation swinging would go right out the window.

[FLRooster]

Originally Posted by FloridaFlirt

...attracted to one or both of the other couple, but you aren't? Do you go ahead with the playtime?

Rooster (my partner) and I have run into this a few times, and while it seems he had a good time with the female, I end up with a dud in the sack for the male

So...what do I do? Go along with it because it makes him happy?

Thanks in advance....

Let me add my bit....
Of course we have discussed this and I would NEVER want her just to go along with it.
Usually it is a case of being somewhat attracted, and seeing how it goes...but as she says, often the experience falls short of expectations. That also goes for me too, although at least it is always somewhat enjoyable....a guy thing perhaps?
All the responses make sense, and I agree with them. We will have to be more picky I guess in future to ensure we BOTH get enjoyment out of it.

Rooster

[FloridaFlirt]

Thanks for all the replies..and a SMOOOOOOOOOOOCH to my favorite Rooster!