wife ok with guys, but doesn't like hubby with women

[Compersor]

I have, what I consider to be a bit of a problem. My wife and I have been doing MFM for over a year now. She loves it and I love it. I have known for a long time that she is not into the “bi”-thing. I also know that in the beginning, when we first set out to invite men into our bedroom, she was terribly apprehensive about me possibly not respecting her anymore. On that score I have finally managed to set her mind at ease. I greatly respect my wife and simply consider that without her sexuality (in all its guises) she wouldn’t be complete. What I didn’t know however, and found out recently, is that she absolutely doesn’t want to have any same room couples experiences. The idea of me having it off with another woman doesn’t please her in the least (to say the least). The lucky thing is, that I love MFM, and greatly enjoy the passion and excitement she derives from it. Sex with other women is not my main concern, but somewhere, at some level of consciousness this imbalance seems to bother me. Is there among you guys anybody else who has been in a similar situation, or who could judiciously comment on this problem (if it is a problem – I don’t know yet)? (I have to emphasize that I never introduced my young wife – there is about 20 years between us - to the lifestyle with the ulterior motive of getting some degree of reciprocity out of it. My only intention was to please her and give her excess to greater variety of sexual experiences).

[Compersor]

Of course I meant 'access' and not 'excess' at the bottom of my preceding post. A rather funny, yet curious freudian slip.

[dave110256]

My wife is just the opposite, she will only allow a woman to share our bedroom for now.......I think that will change soon though

I think it all depends on your reasons for getting into swinging. For us it was about MFMs, just like yourself. I love seeing mrs naughty enjoy the added pleasure that an MFM can bring her. All the "talk" that led up to this lifestyle had everything to do with US enjoying an MFM. We have moved into the couples relm of swinging but not because either one of us felt pushed by the other.
Our original fantasy was MFMs and continues to be where we get the most enjoyment. If we stopped everything but MFMs tomorrow it would not bother me a bit.
Don't get me wrong, swinging with couples can be and is fun but I get the most pleasure from her being pleasured and two men giving mrs naughty their undivided attention does just that.

I don't think it is wrong or selfish of your wife to feel that way if that was the whole premice for getting into swinging. You were/are cool with just inviting other men into the bedroom. You are both comfortable with it and you both get great enjoyment out of it.

Now, if the premice for getting into swinging was to be with other couples, not MFMs, then she decided that she did not like you with other women but wanted to keep swinging in strictly an MFM capacity I would have to take issue with that.

You both shared the original fantasy of MFMs and that is as far as she wants to go. I see no problem with that.

[akamgaxoxo]

My hubby and I also started into swinging with the fantasy of MFM's.....I was turned on by the idea and so was he, so we have also done just MFM. But don't get me wrong, we have sat and talked about whether he was interested in meeting couples, or any single ladies, and we played out every scenario to talk about. But for him his greatest enjoyment (just like Mr. and Mrs. Naughty) is seeing me happy in a MFM situation. He says he really has no interest right now in being with other women, and I can respect that, and maybe one day I will have to look into this issue. But for now we are just enjoying life!!

[SexhoundDog]

Compersor,
I wouldn't mind having your problem. I honestly can't say whether I'd feel any reciprocity was in order or not, but my initial feeling is no. My intention is exactly the same as yours was initially. I guess you can always talk to her about it and see what she says. You already know she'll at least say "You're the one who talked me into it, remember? I didn't say I liked the idea of you with other women."

Did you also say same room sex with other couples around but with each other did nothing for her or the actual swapping didn't work for her?

[JustAskJulie]

You said she will not allow it for same room, but will she allow a couple swap if you are in different rooms?

[LikeMinds321]

You said the idea of you playing with another woman doesn't please your wife in the least.

Why? This is what you need to find out. Talk with your wife.

She had other concerns when you began your MFM and those were resolved. I don't see why this new concern couldn't be worked through either.

She should be considering your changing needs too. I would hope she is open to discussion.

LM

[sensuality]

It wouldn't be a problem to only have MFM scenarios if that's all you are wanting.However, because it sounds like you may want to explore with another woman,you do need to sit down with your wife and discuss this with her.Explain to her that you feel somewhat of an imbalance and in no way are you upset with her or anything of that sort...you just would like to experience another woman...as she has experienced other men.She may not go for it and you need to ask yourself if you'd be alright with things exactly the way they are now.It just seems like you are feeling a bit cheated,{Not that you aren't enjoying revelling in her pleasure and pleasing her,etc.},it's just that she is having all this fun and receiving all the attention from you and the other men and perhaps, you would like to feel the same way and be on the receiving end as well.

[moreismore]

It all sounds very familiar! I had the MFM fanatasy for years and then finally got my wife to try it. She was reluctant at first feeling I had the ulterior motive of moving on to swinging with other women. We experienced two MFM's(one where the other wife watched and one with a single male) With all this going on I felt the next logical step was couples. She was hesitant but I continued to pursue couple parties that basically promoted couplling. The first two experiences got mixed reactions from my wife with us pairing with other couples but I saved my cum for her . The third experience I completely read wrong as I didn't save anything. That ended our swinging adventures simply because I went outside her comfort zone. She didn't feel threatened in the MFM pairing ! We still talk about the great sex we had with the MFM's when were having sex. Whether she'll give it another try or not I don't know, we have talked about her doing an MMMF which to me would be the ultimate fantasy; something we would have done by now if I'd had considered her feelings! Make sure your wifes feelings our foremost in your mind and remember what you have not what you aren't getting.

[Compersor]

Julie, she will basically allow me to have sex with any woman I like, as long as I don't go behind her back, which I would never do. But that's not the issue. The thing is that I would not enjoy sex with someone else if I know that my wife is unhappy about it. She says it is alright as long as she doesn't see it. But I know it would hurt her. Of course I realize I should, as MOREISMORE says, be happy with what I've got. I just wanted to know if this is a common problem, in as far as it is perceived as a problem. Fortunately MFM is what matters to me most. At any rate, I am very grateful for all the input I have had from you guys.

[2much]

In the same boat with you Mister; the mrs enjoys men, although faithful and devoted she is totally open to the idea of being with 2 men at once. We have done so several times, and she enjoys it. We have been with a couple once, and though she enjoyed it she doesn't want to do it again. She is not interested in other women or couples, only men. Fortunately I love pleasing her with another man & have no problem not being with other women, but there is a small part of me that thinks it "unfair" that she can have guys but I can't have girls.
But I am not complaining, or even thinking about complaining.

[Compersor]

To LikeMinds321:

She says she's not jealous. I don't believe that, but she keeps denying it. Talking with her is not easy. She's not very communicative about this. She says I can do what I like, as long as she doesn't have to see it. The net result of this is that I will never do anything with another woman and we will just stick to the MFM.

[Compersor]

To 2much:

That's exactly how I feel! You're obviously in much the same situation as me.

[hotblonde47]

When we first started out in "Lifestyles" we started with an MFM situation which hubby set up and I was very, very nervous about. We were lucky, it went so well it is ongoing. However, I was totally convinced that I could not (ever) handle hubby "having it off" (I'm English too) with another woman. I was terrified that I would not handle it well and put if off for as long as I could. However, I recognized that he felt like you, and it seemed all kind of one sided and selfish on my part so I (reluctantly) gave in. When it came down to it, in a foursome situation, I was amazed by my reaction. I was turned on by watching him - also, I was proud that my man was pleasuring another woman and yet he was all mine. Have your wife read this, she needs to be attracted to the male of the other couple too, but maybe she will be willing to "give it a go". If, after that, she is still not comfortable with it then you need to rethink your whole strategy and involvement. But really she won't know for sure until she tries it once.