taking one as a team

[fun4Ds]

this is a little hard to explain we know about taking one for the team, no one wants their partner to go through with playing when the sexual feelings or mood isn't there for them.

but this is a little different. we have had a few times in our experiences over the years that we looked back on now and asking ourselves "i wounder why them?".
its not like I'm trying to down grade them or sound big headed about ourselves but, me being a guy my look on this some times is more of, am i acceptable to the female half of another couple?just being acceptable is good enough for me. the unexplainable chemistry is what we all look for in playmates but, like i say this is hard to explain. without sounding like a pig of a guy, i find attractiveness in all women. i look over flaws i guess. and if I'm acceptable to her as a play partner then i want to give my best. Mrs.Fun on the other hand has a sexual chemistry about her that i cant explain, but lets call it like it is, she has never been turned down. i have, but thus far she hasn't. so if we meet a couple and we all agree on play she gives her best to the male half.... i like that, its how WE like to be.

i guess an example is best giving here to match the title. this has happened a few times at the club and even on a date. we have found ourselves as the evening is getting late where we have made the decision to play not because the chemistry is all powerful with a particular couple but "OUR" chemistry is revved up. we came this far, we have been excited all week
SOMEONES GETTING LAID! ANY TAKERS? i know that sounds terrible but we are pretty sure we weren't alone on our feelings. they felt that way also. no one took one for the team, we took one "AS A TEAM" every one was happy.

maybe i don't explain things well, but has anyone felt anything like that?
would you think bad of us for feeling that way?

[sexcupid]

Well I can say a couple of our swaps felt like this to me. The first one was not great...I think we both felt we needed to do it just to see if we could, if that makes sense?

And we've had one that we got on great with the wife, just a really nice lady and we clicked and chatted like we'd known each other since grade school, but the hubby was kind of quiet. Didn't think anything of it until we were in the playroom. He hardly touched me, tried to pull me on top of him before I got the condom on (guess he thought b/c he was vsafe he didn't have to use one or something?), couldn't maintain (that's ok with me if you need to 'regroup', for any seinfeld fans out there...women may have 'the tap' but men have 'the hug'...maybe that should be another post... ), and when we went back down to our table...didn't speak to me the entire time we waited for our SO's to come downstairs. And did not show any inclination to try for a second round...even though I'm sure Jeff and the other wife would have been more than happy to try again (she halted their playtime b/c she was worried about why ours had ended so quickly). Eh, chalk it up to experience I guess.

The others have been pretty nice so far, but we don't do it very often (work and school schedules bite sometimes)...so hopefully in the long run the good will definitely out weigh the bad or so-so.

Maria

[socolais]

This chemistry thing confuses me. The best we have it figured so far is to look for playful enthusiasm in playmates and ones we feel we can communicate with. So, yeah, we generally go to the party figuring we're gonna get some action and hoping everyone has fun with whatever serendipity has to offer for the evening.

This may or may not be off topic, but I've noticed a strong correlation between kissing compatibility and rosy cheeks. Good kissing gets me charged up and excited about an energetic playtime.

[fun4Ds]

Originally Posted by socolais

This chemistry thing confuses me. The best we have it figured so far is to look for playful enthusiasm in playmates and ones we feel we can communicate with.

This may or may not be off topic, but I've noticed a strong correlation between kissing compatibility and rosy cheeks. Good kissing gets me charged up and excited about an energetic playtime.

yes, thats sort of what im talking about,with an in the moment serendipity kind of way added.

[Alura]

I can't imagine the chemistry with another woman approaching that which I know with Laura. Consequently, I've always figured, in any swap-situation, that I'm likely to get screwed on the deal. (Come to think of it, if that weren't the case I'd probably not even want to do it!)

After all, it is sex. How bad can it be? In the words of Brother Dave Gardner, "Gratitude is riches; complaint is poverty, and the worst I ever had was wonderful!"

A positive mental attitude is very important. Laura and I are positive that anybody who would "turn down" Mr. & Mrs. Fun4Ds would have suspect mentalities.

Mr. Alura

[ncmd_couple]

I think that the first time you are with a couple that you don't really know what you are walking into. We have had really good experiences, and we have had ones that left us saying "Huh?" We are people watchers and you can tell a lot about people by the way they interact. A couple at a club we go to is not our cup of tea, so we have never approached them. They guy ignores his wife completely. Just sits there and sips on a drink. And if someone asks her to go to a room, the old man follows along and just sits in the corner of the room and watches. To each their own I guess.

[fun4Ds]

[

QUOTE=sexcupid;290874]Well I can say a couple of our swaps felt like this to me. The first one was not great...I think we both felt we needed to do it just to see if we could, if that makes sense?

yes that does make sense, as a team.

And we've had one that we got on great with the wife, just a really nice lady and we clicked and chatted like we'd known each other since grade school, but the hubby was kind of quiet. Didn't think anything of it until we were in the playroom. He hardly touched me, tried to pull me on top of him before I got the condom on (guess he thought b/c he was vsafe he didn't have to use one or something?), couldn't maintain (that's ok with me if you need to 'regroup', for any seinfeld fans out there...women may have 'the tap' but men have 'the hug'...maybe that should be another post... ), and when we went back down to our table...didn't speak to me the entire time we waited for our SO's to come downstairs. And did not show any inclination to try for a second round...even though I'm sure Jeff and the other wife would have been more than happy to try again (she halted their playtime b/c she was worried about why ours had ended so quickly). Eh, chalk it up to experience I guess.

but even though you didnt know what the outcome would be you tried and gave your best,right? as part of the team? who new how things would go after the commitment to play. the only warning, he was quiet
the part about trying to get by with no condom, well we have been there.
that was just wrong.

[sexcupid]

Originally Posted by fun4Ds

but even though you didnt know what the outcome would be you tried and gave your best,right? as part of the team? who new how things would go after the commitment to play. the only warning, he was quiet the part about trying to get by with no condom, well we have been there. that was just wrong.

I did give it my best. In the past I've been with guys with performane issues (even when condoms were not involved) and I have patience with that. I mean, I guess I just didn't get the vibe off of him...but we still tried to do it anyway. I understand it can be embarassing...but I guess I would have been happier if he had been more interested in doing something besides laying there and not touching me. If this had been someone I hooked up with in a non-swing situation, I would still wonder 'wtf was going on?' you know?

We had met them once before...and he was pretty quiet then too...however his wife and I were getting on like a house on fire and was chatting enough that we wouldn't have noticed the guys trying to talk to us anyway. We were planning to play that night, but he was on call at work and had to be some where around 12 or 1am...and he seemed kinda disappointed that we didn't go running off to play when we first got there. Eh, maybe I was reading that wrong...but we had a good time just having drinks that night. Even the time that we met at the club to play was going great until we actually went to play.

I understand if he's naturally quiet, or it takes some time to open up, etc. And I think that's the kind of person he is....but given that his wife is so chatty and outgoing, maybe he just relies on her to be the social one? I don't know...we haven't spoken to them since.

Maria

[des1re06]

Yes, when we first started. Here's the story....

We're at our favorite club in Nashville, sitting by the dancefloor. Just sitting around taking in the sights. A lady walks past (wearing a long sleeved sweatsuit), and Mr. D comments, "who the hell would wear a jogging suit to a swing club?."

We went upstairs to the outside deck, and Mrs. started talking to a nice young lady (26, newbie bi curious). Mrs. D takes the young lady into a private room and proceeds to initiate her into the oral delights to be had from another woman. The guys watch. It was terrific.

We finish and go back downstairs (all 4) to our table where we begin talking to other couples sitting around us. All 8 couples decide to go to the group room downstairs. Meanwhile, an older gentleman begins talking to Mrs. D, and flirting heavily. Come to find out, that he had contacted us on the Swing Lifestyle site at some time in the past. So we include him in our plans to go downstairs. Mrs. D feels comfortable with him and he's kinda cute. So, okay, we all proceed downstairs, while the gentleman goes to get his SO. Well, who would it be but Mrs. Sweatpants!

She absolutely stated she would not do anything with any of the men, but that the women could go down on her. She wasn't going to reciprocate. So, we're now stuck with this lady who was not into this scene at all, but her SO was.

Well, all of the couples were doing their thing, and we end up with the two who were added on at the last minute (mr & mrs. sweatpants). Mr. D watches while I do a "mercy lick" on both of them, then Mrs. D quits and has sex with Mr. D.

It was just a bad scene, and Mr. D was quite shocked that Mrs. D invited those two into what was a nice group of 8 couples. Won't do that again.

[fun4Ds]

[QUOTE]

Originally Posted by sexcupid

I did give it my best. In the past I've been with guys with performance issues (even when condoms were not involved) and I have patience with that. I mean, I guess I just didn't get the vibe off of him...but we still tried to do it anyway. I understand it can be embarassing...but I guess I would have been happier if he had been more interested in doing something besides laying there and not touching me. If this had been someone I hooked up with in a non-swing situation, I would still wonder 'wtf was going on?' you know?

team player, and a very good one at that: i do understand where your coming from. I've only had one partner that was ... non responsive. i tried everything. she too was quiet when i tried to communicate with her afterwords.her husband said that even with other partners, "if she gets off you would never know it" then later as days went on she would flirt with me like the happiest woman in the world,couldn't wait to get together again. actually acted like she/they wanted us exclusively. we tried again with them. Mrs.fun at this time had no complaints,and talked to her about maybe putting a little more into it. this might sound like it was bad,, but on my part i didn't feel in any way that i was taking one for the team we were new,call it a learning experience, we were into it all.... sexually. looking back now Mrs.fun has found partners that were certainly better than this womans husband.she says that when she asked him for things that push her buttons, he would not venture in that direction. ya cant explain some things.we cared about their likes/dislikes and needs sexually, and we realized that we should move on. we cant say it was bad. if any thing we took one as a team. wright?

[iapr]

Originally Posted by fun4Ds

we have found ourselves as the evening is getting late where we have made the decision to play not because the chemistry is all powerful with a particular couple but "OUR" chemistry is revved up. we came this far, we have been excited all week
SOMEONES GETTING LAID! ANY TAKERS? i know that sounds terrible but we are pretty sure we weren't alone on our feelings. they felt that way also. no one took one for the team, we took one "AS A TEAM" every one was happy.

maybe i don't explain things well, but has anyone felt anything like that?
would you think bad of us for feeling that way?

I really don't see it as taking one as team but rather as just a consequence of not having a chrystal ball and being able to predict the future. I think the key statement you made was that you and your partner were all revved up and what I am taking that to mean is that you were wanting to play as a couple and were willing to take whoever was available that meet your minimum standards. As long as everyone is consenting to the encounter and there is no deception or underhandedness involved I think that is fair enough.

The thing is you just never know what it is going to be like untill it happens. Yes sometimes it may end up you look back and shake your head but other times you'll be laying there breathless and your head spinning wondering what hit you.

We realize going into any encounter that noone is going to be a better lover than our own partner and we realize that we are not going to trip other peoples trigger better than their own partners. What we hope for is that we have a positive encounter as a couple and that the people we are with have a positive encounter as a couple with us. Regardless of how the actual sex goes at that time the true report card comes in when everyone gets home. If each couple is turbo charged and can't wait to tear into each when they get home then it was a great encounter that served it's purpose well.

If there is drama and bent feelings and people are feeling bad about themselves in any way then something went way wrong with the whole process and a top to bottom evaluation needs to be done.

[Tia Vampire]

We have done this ourselves, but because SO get off of work at 10 pm and we get to the club around 11:00 or 11:30. By then everyone is usually paired up or know pretty much who they will be going to the room with.Plus we want to socialize and drink also. Then we end up sitting back to see who is available to play. Sometimes not what we are looking for, but we make the best of it. We have enjoyed many encounters this way.