Breaking the news to Wife that I intend to swing without her

[prettylady]

I am going to try and be nice because I beleive the OP to be sincere.
She has gone through menopause? Well dude, that sucks right there. Estogen levels have dropped. I am not doctor, or very good speller even. But I know full well that some women have serious problems with sex drive after menopause.
My expert opinion :rollseyes is to talk openly with her. See if things are as bad for her as they are for you. perhaps ask if she would be willing to see a doctor to see if there is a hormone theropy she can try.
After menopause, and I am not speaking from direct experience, woman suffer huge with self esteem issues, depression, anxiety, and a whole gauntlet of really crappy things.
Wouldn't you be the horses ass if you dismissed this situation as her being less then receptive and it turns out that hormones or even councelling could help her out of what could very well be a difficult time in her life.
I really hope for the best for your wife.
Sorry, I really am, but I have little sympathy for you.
After I had two kids back to back my sex drive was down. my son was only 13 months old when my daughter was born. My ex, rather then helping me through this treated me like shit and then had an affair.
After getting out of that marriage, I got councelling and figured out that I was depressed. I met with my doctor after several sessions I learnt some really great life skills, and found out that I had ADD. Treating my depression and ADD, put together with getting away from an ass that thinks more about getting his dick wet then helping the "women he loves" get better, I met a really great guy (Dog) and now my sex drive is over the top.
Once again I feel beautiful and I like it.
Sorry I tried to be nice, but I failed in there somewhere.
As for the post about the women on this board being sexually free. (not exact words). I know that was ment as a compliment. But many of us went through hell to get to were we are now.
Your friend,
Prettylady

[Second of 2]

Originally Posted by prettylady

Wouldn't you be the horses ass if you dismissed this situation as her being less then receptive and it turns out that...

Let me finish what prettylady said a different way. That ... "she has always considered you to be a big problem with her enjoying sex." Where I come from we learned that there's two sides to every story, so I refuse to take your word for it. I'm sorry but that's the way I am. I'd prefer hearing her side first.

Like others have already told you, what you are trying to do is not swinging and I don't consider you joining this lifestyle. You are joining a different list but not this one. This is one you enter with your partner not without them.

Go talk to your wife and seek help, together. She can't do it without you and you shouldn't insist that she seek it alone.

[prettylady]

Thank you second of two. I do get a little hot under the collar at times, and have problems being "nice".
Your friend,
Prettylady

[Second of 2]

Originally Posted by prettylady

Thank you second of two. I do get a little hot under the collar at times, and have problems being "nice".
Your friend,
Prettylady

I'm not considered as being nice a lot either. I don't intentionally irritate people but it happens. What can I say. I appreciated your comments on this subject though and considered them "right on target".
Your friend as well,

[LikeMinds321]

Your thread Testing the waters... was posted before this thread, so you must have decided to swing.

Did you come to an agreement with your wife?

There are plenty of married men (and married women) who are swinging without their spouse's permission, so if you get involved it won't be history making.

You'll find people who will play with you. But if they know you are cheating you'll have a tougher time finding acceptance. So you may decide to lie, as many do, and see if you have better luck that way. Maybe sex with new people will make you happy, or more satisfied in life, maybe you'll find the sex still leaves you empty. A lot will depend on how you can live with lies and deception. If you have sex outside your marriage, your wife will know. Think about how that will affect your present relationship with her.

At your age, I think sex is more about keeping yourself from feeling old, from feeling you are slowly waiting to die. Sex does make us feel alive and young. Maybe you should be talking to your wife about life and aging in general. About wanting to continue to feel alive and fullfilled as human beings.

LM