Other husband didn't seem interested

[Gladiola4u]

I need some hints or ideas that might help me on my problem.
My hubby and I decided to join a swingers club and have had the chance to only go 2 times. The second time we went it was great because we got to meet a couple of women, one of them especially, who was really interested into joining us in our hotel room. Unfortunately, her husband was not into it at all, as per what she told us is that her husband is not an easy going person when it comes to joining another couple. They have been in the life style for over 6 years and she gets into it and he will not. My hubby told me to go and talk to him and see if he would be interested. My only problem is that I am a fairly shy person. I do talk to people and love to socialize but how on earth do I get to talk to another man into joining us in bed? I had no problem approaching this woman that hubby was "playing" with and "play" with her too and I liked it and so did she. I just could not get myself to go and talk to him about coming to our hotel room.
Any hints from any of you know how to go about this? What can I do to grow courage to do this, without having to go to the liquid courage.
Any ideas I welcome.
Thanks

[intuition897]

Unfortunately, this is a problem between the other woman and her husband. There is very little you can do except be supportive as they work through it themselves. Involving yourself in their personal problems will only aggravate the situation and complicate things.

[JustAskJulie]

I would not want to play with this couple because HE obviously does not want to play. It sounds like he had no desire to be there and was just going to make her happy. Involving yourselves will not just complicate things for them but for you as well... and making swinging much more aggravating to you. You are much better off to just walk away and seek new playmates.

[Gladiola4u]

Intuition and Julie, thanks for the feedback. Although, she had told me that he is the one that tried so hard to convience her to join the club but he is the one that has a hard time to go with any couple.
I never thought that it might have been him with the problem though and now that I think of it, there was another couple whom the wife works at the front door but he made verbal moves and I didn't do anything about it.
Ah well, it will all be in time I guess.
Thanks

[intuition897]

Yup. Sometimes the reality doesn't quite fit the fantasy, and it's a nasty shock. And suddenly doesn't seem like such a cool idea anymore. Perhaps he has "created a monster".

[Gladiola4u]

LOL intuition, I think you are so right.
She was so into my hubby and all over him, and vice versa and her hubby kept walking away.

[ShellyM]

Regarding the OP: I would be very wary of playing with a couple where one half is so openly not into it. Seriously, drama is just not a pretty thing at all.

[Gladiola4u]

Shelly, very ture a big turn off! Although she was all hot and bothered and ready to go with us he wasn't and in a way we were glad they didn't show up at out hotel room like they said they would. Both hubby and I are new at this and would be extremely uncomfortable with a person who is not into it.

[wifes_sex_slave]

Hi, Im Glad's SO,


As much fun as it was perceived to become, I certainly do not wish to be in the middle of another couples issues. We are going there to play and add fun to our sex lives, not to add more stress and jeopardize our experiences.

I / we are glad they did not show up even though it "seemed" promising.

Thanks for the advice to move on to another fun filled couple.

[ShellyM]

Originally Posted by Gladiola4u

Shelly, very ture a big turn off! Although she was all hot and bothered and ready to go with us he wasn't and in a way we were glad they didn't show up at out hotel room like they said they would. Both hubby and I are new at this and would be extremely uncomfortable with a person who is not into it.

You know though, they just ditched you like that? That discourtesy in itself would give me an attitude. You know, when you tell a couple you are going to play in my eyes you have made a commitment.....here I go finding a babysitter, etc. I would definately give them a good piece of my mind at least.

Yeah though, I think you were lucky in those 2 winners not showing up.

[MoonLightKiss]

I realized here recently, that sometimes we don't see the trees for the forest (or is it forest for the trees) and fate steps in and takes a hand. Be grateful when it happens. Sometimes we miss a bigger mistake in the long run. Sorry this couple was so rude though, like shelly that burns me up.

[Gladiola4u]

Originally Posted by ShellyM

You know though, they just ditched you like that? That discourtesy in itself would give me an attitude. You know, when you tell a couple you are going to play in my eyes you have made a commitment.....here I go finding a babysitter, etc. I would definately give them a good piece of my mind at least.

Yeah though, I think you were lucky in those 2 winners not showing up.

Shelly, we are on the same page here. They made the commitment and didn't bother showing up but like you said, who needs people like that. It was rude and I am not sure how I will react when I see them again. What I am sure of is that we will not be inviting them again, not with that kind of a rude attitude.

[Gladiola4u]

Originally Posted by MoonLightKiss

I realized here recently, that sometimes we don't see the trees for the forest (or is it forest for the trees) and fate steps in and takes a hand. Be grateful when it happens. Sometimes we miss a bigger mistake in the long run. Sorry this couple was so rude though, like shelly that burns me up.

You know MoonLight, although we were extremely disappointed that night and the day after, after thinking and reading all of the posts from all of yous, I am glad they didn't show up. Like Shelly had said before, who the hell needs all that drama? I've got enough drama in my life to deal with somebody else's.