Swinging, or marriage breaking point ?

[NandTfromCA]

Originally Posted by ShellyM

Why is that, I wonder? I know for Jay and I, I prefer men over 30 years of age.

Sorry if I made it sound like 25 is better than 55. One of N's favorite swing partners is over 50 and contrary to some generalities, he has never had a problem "hanging" in there.

My point is that he would be competing with so many other single guys…younger, older, wiser, richer, etc…and although there are some couples that look for single men, most prefer a couple or a single woman. Most couples would rather find a couple or a single women to play with, of which there or plenty of the former. This isn't a single guy bash, just a reality check for InNY.

In other words, leaving wifey and becoming part of the fabled swing community would probably be a huge let down for him.

[SouthBond]

Going to Hedo II is interesting. We have never been to the Hedo but we did attend a Lifestyle's trip to Mexico. They were a really friendly group. The ones we met didn't have any problem inviting you to do, been done, or just watch. You probably missed a great opportunity to get her to cross the line. If you would have had an experienced couple with with you, they could have possibly helped seduce her. At her age, she may be going through the early stages of menopause. Some women completely die sexually. It's like a switch is turned off. Or she is going to hold to her ideas with or without you. You do realize that women use sex to reward or punish you. Men are basically simple creatures. We like to screw until we die. At this time, I fear that your persistence will stess her to the point of being unhealthy. Your call, blow off the All-American family thing or wade off into the world of Swapping. A hundred years from now, no one alive will know what you decided. But the documentation of your decision will be buried in the files of the county courthouse.

[ShellyM]

Yeah, you cannot force someone to want to do something. Now, I know that alot of couples get into it by the hubby or wife saying "hey, this looks like fun, lets check it out", and initially half of the couple is hesitant......until they dip their toes in, and then they are like "hell yeah!" and are happy in it. However, if a person is against it for whatever reason, whether it be religion or morals, or whatever, you cannot "make" them like it. I HATE peanut butter, and no matter how much you tell me how wonderful it is I still hate peanut butter! lol Seriously man, please be careful in the decisions you make. I don't know your wife, and I don't know you. I am just saying that a couple that has been married as long as you and she have been has to have a strong bond, and a lot of love. No one is trying to get on your case, or make you feel bad. But if she is dead set against it you don't want to swing anyways. I cannot imagine playing with a couple when either the wife or husband does not really want to be there....to me that would be almost akin to raping the poor woman. So, good luck in whatever decision you make.

[turnuptheheat]

Originally Posted by InNY

.......Then other times I think maybe my wife and I have developed different views on life and we both might be better compatable with someone else. I'm wondering if anyone else has run into this situation and what were some of the outcomes. Any insight or opinions would be appreciated.

IMO, this is the central theme of the problem.
This needs to be answered before swinging is even considered an option.
If it is not a team effort, it is not swinging.
Good luck.

[InNY]

Folks, I received some great advice and insight on my post. Thanks very much to all of you.

[riswingcpl]

Originally Posted by Spoomonkey

Here is the perspective of a guy for you:

My marriage is far more exciting and sexual than swinging is. I have the perfect wife and would never jeopardize that for another piece of ass. Plain and simple. If she did not agree with this, I wouldn't do it.

There is going to be a point in my life where I am not going to be able to swing much - age, life changes, whatever - they are coming. And when they do, I like the thought that I will have this wonderful, giving, loving woman to spend the rest of a relatively quiet life with. I actually look forward to being that sweet old couple that still seems so in love.

Swinging is a great fantasy - and the reality is pretty good, too. But I can assure you - having done this for quite a while now - only a fool would trade a marriage for swinging. There are plenty of ways to "branch out" and to spice things up without inviting someone else to your bed. Quit obsessing over this one path and start exploring others - together.

Spoomonkey

Damn Spoo...you hit it right on the head! I wouldn't trade my life with G for any woman alive. The fact that we love each other so intensely and are also comfortable and secure enough to share each other just makes our life that much more interesting. But if we had to give it all up (swinging) right now, I'd do it with no regrets. I am married to my soulmate, my best friend and my lover. She's the one I want to grow old with, the one I want to wake up to every morning until there are no more mornings. I wouldn't do anything to risk that love and trust. It just couldn't possibly be worth it...

M