My husband is upset with me because I don't want to swing anymore

[EvilMJ]

I just thought I should clarify that I don't feel you should continue swinging if you don't want to. Just that you should be very clear as to why, so he can understand where you are coming from.

[djjwp]

I’m going to take his side for a moment: (Now putting on flame retardant suit)

There is an old saying: A woman marries a man expecting him to change and he does not, a man marries a woman expecting her not to change and she does. That being said, I can understand his position in relationship to you. If he is looking at you and you are not the woman he married, he is going to feel betrayed and upset. He married a type of person that you were, not what he is seeing now. He is now forced to change into something he is not because you have been someone that you are not.

Some men marry the woman of their dreams determined at face value. As you have been swinging for four years I can understand why is hard to explain that “it’s just not you” to him now. Almost needless to say, you should not swing at all until you get this worked out.

Now on your side:

He should not be looking at changing how you swing without your input. If you do what you have always done, he may have ground to stand on but if he is trying to crank it up to a higher level, he would now be out of line. The pressure you feel from him now should not exist and it should be stopped.

Good luck.

[twoplayful2]

new2theswingset, I agree with most of what you said but it still comes down to the simple fact that she can't be made to do what she doesn't want to do when it comes to swinging. If she's just really against it now, that's just the way it is. However, I think that if she's done it this long there's at least a good chance that she's open to the idea of swinging and has had at least *some* fun during the last several years. It just seems to me that it's very possible that this is a problem that can be fixed by good communications, some real effort on sex & romance just between husband and wife, and then maybe coming back as newbies someday with a little different approach to it.

[chastityrings]

What it sounds like to me is you've met some people you really like as friends, you just don't want to have sex with them anymore,and if they are really friends the sex won't matter. And hopefully if your husband understands, he won't pressure you into sex with anyone else if you don't want it. Regardless of what he was made to believe in the beginning , if you two are going to get through this he will have to be willing to forgive you and move on, and you are going to have to be honest with him from now on. You shouldn't have agreed to it in the beginning if you weren't comfortable, but you can't change the past, So maybe work on the furure by starting with a clean slate?