wife no longer interested in swinging

[HotMoCpl]

Okay, now listen carefully. C O M M U N I C A T I O N ! ! If you feel the need to talk to her, then talk. Just don't go around her. After awhilie I think you'll figure out what you two have got, but you have to communicate.

Good luck.

[Shoreguy67]

our marriage is fine, really! we comminucate fine as well. you just have to admit, sex can be a touchy subject and i'm looking for a plate to be broken over my head! it'a just that i'm more adventurous when it comes to this. if it never happens again, i can live with it. it's just too bad that it may never happen again, and that i may never get to fulfill some fantasies. but that's life. can't say that i'm miserable. it's not like i've never been there!

thanx all for your advice!

[Vespertine]

Originally Posted by Shoreguy67

if it never happens again, i can live with it. it's just too bad that it may never happen again, and that i may never get to fulfill some fantasies. but that's life. can't say that i'm miserable.

That's a healthy outlook to have.

I think we all have something that we fantasize about that we know we'll never do.These fantasies don't even have to be sexual in nature. It's healthy to have fantasies and there's nothing wrong with having them. They are your thoughts, and if you don't feel comfortable sharing them with your significant other, there's nothing wrong with that either. You just make sure you don't try making them a reality without sharing with your partner first.

[Dr Jekyll]

It's one of those damned if you do, damned if you don't scenarios. You have this fantasy that she once went along with, now she won't.

If you remain silent it'll never happen, if you speak up, you sleep on the couch.

I'd try to speak to her. Approach the topic very carefully and try to keep things calm. The point being that if you never speak to her about it, you'll never know why or how she feels. Sex is a very touchy subject when your sexlife isn't 100%. But just ignoring it won't fix a thing, and you're even contemplating cheating on your wife... Which is very bad indeed.

Sleeping on the couch isn't fun, but sometimes it's the only way.

[Shoreguy67]

Originally Posted by Vespertine

I think we all have something that we fantasize about that we know we'll never do.

yeah, i guess you mean like wishing we could lay our own eggs so we don't have to go out to the grocery for them anymore. that and the one about the anteater. but anyway...


i DO still bring it up. i pester her about it all the time. i think she just wants to bust my nuts.

[EvilMJ]

Sorry to say but there is one thing that you have to take into consideration....Swinging is not for everyone.

You are probably just going to have to come to the realization that you are stuck wtih a wife who loves you for the rest of your life. Painful I know, but I am sure that you can deal with it .

The problem is..if she is not into swinging, then you can communicate until you are blue in the face, she is unlikely to change her mind . Cheating is not the answer , but you have established you know that. So...maybe your energies are going to have to be put into finding other ways to make your sex life a little more 'exciting ' to you, there may be somethings that she would be willing to do that are not swinging. I think it is all in a no pressure approach.

Good luck shore guy.

[Dr Jekyll]

Originally Posted by Shoreguy67

i DO still bring it up. i pester her about it all the time.

This I think might be the biggest root of your problem. Women, pressure and sex don't do well together. It might have been a word choice thing, but somehow I doubt it. You'll need to choose, it's the one or the other... If she doesn't want to swing if you've been talking to her, nothing you say after months of "pestering" is going to change that.

Originally Posted by Shoreguy67

i think she just wants to bust my nuts.

Why in the world would she want to bust your nuts if your relationship was 100% ok? I get a lot of bad vibes from you saying that things are NOT ok, yet you insist it is... Maybe you should really stand back and take an excruciatingly honest look at your relationship, you may not like what you see, but acknowledging a problem is always the first step in fixing it.

You may be the one standing between you and that exciting sexlife...

[NJ Couple]

there really aren't any problems! i believe she just likes to have her own way and kinda tease me about it. there is NO animosity in our swing club debates. i think if i'm able to find a good one around where we live she'll go. anyone here know of any round these parts?

[Miss_Piggy]

Wow. Now I'm confused. First you say she's super stubborn and won't change her mind and now you think if you pick a club she'll go. I'm really lost on this one.

[Vespertine]

Originally Posted by Miss_Piggy

Wow. Now I'm confused. First you say she's super stubborn and won't change her mind and now you think if you pick a club she'll go. I'm really lost on this one.

Dito

Me too....

[NJ Couple]

she doesn't want to go. the club we used to go to is far away now because me moved. i hope that if i keep buggin her and i find a club closer by, i'll still have a chance!

oh yeah. njshoreguy is my personal account, my wife and i share this one. not to worry, she's forgotten about this...i think/hope!

[intuition897]

Originally Posted by NJ Couple

she doesn't want to go. the club we used to go to is far away now because me moved. i hope that if i keep buggin her and i find a club closer by, i'll still have a chance!

oh yeah. njshoreguy is my personal account, my wife and i share this one. not to worry, she's forgotten about this...i think/hope!

Hey no worries here! I'm hoping that you're not worried that she'll see this either. What's the worst that's going to happen? She'll see this and realize that there is a problem that needs to be sorted out. How you guys choose to handle the situation will ultimately determine how it will work out. The truth will eventually make itself known, whether you want it to or not.

I sound like a friggin' fortune cookie... :rollseyes

[NJ Couple]

actually, my wife does go through here once in a while. i'm not worried. she's not the type to freak out anyway. the worst that'll happen is she'll tell me to get over it!

i love fortune cookies! sometimes they end up being better than the meal!

[Miss_Piggy]

Originally Posted by NJ Couple

i hope that if i keep buggin her and i find a club closer by, i'll still have a chance!

Good luck with that...

I really think it's best for you to look back at some of the advise that has been given to you here already. Communicate with your wife. This means listening to her as well as telling her your feelings.

[Dr Jekyll]

Originally Posted by Miss_Piggy

Communicate with your wife. This means listening to her as well as telling her your feelings.

Dito You seem to do the talking thing really well... Try listening, it's normally the hard part.