Hubby against..what now?

[drgnchlde]

I want to have an experience. I already have two married men wanting to get me alone and play, but any even subtle or joking attempts to bring up this sets my husband off.

Last night, I played a little, nothing spectacular, just the occasional squeeze and a little tit-sucking in the car on the way to dinner, but it made me sooo wet I had to keep going to the bathroom to clean up.

Basically, I have the opportunity to do "lunch" with these guys, both of whom are awesome guys I adore, and who absolutely worship the ground I walk on.

What would you guys suggest?

[wetpanties]

Swinging is swinging Cheating is Cheating!

[drgnchlde]

Originally Posted by EUcpl

Are you sure that your hubby is against it? If you have a girlfriend you can trust invite the lady for a threesome. If he has no interest to play with two women you have indeed a problem to get the sexual fantasys of your dreams. Let us all know how old you are and how long you are married.

Maggie

He's--definitely against. Any even joking reference to swinging elicits a "what, I'm not good enough for you?" response.

I'm 25, he's 27, and we'll have been married for 3 years in January.

Bleh. I know I shouldn't, and probably won't, but dammit, its HARD.

[drgnchlde]

Originally Posted by EUcpl

Are you sure that your hubby is against it? If you have a girlfriend you can trust invite the lady for a threesome. If he has no interest to play with two women you have indeed a problem to get the sexual fantasys of your dreams. Let us all know how old you are and how long you are married.

Maggie

Maggie, your PM bix is full.

[Vespertine]

Originally Posted by drgnchlde

What would you guys suggest?

I suggest you remember that you're married.

Do you care at all for your husband's feelings? You mention that he's against the idea of swinging, but still you're baiting a few guys on and even "played a little" with them. That isn't swinging. That is disrespect and cheating.

To quote wetpanties:

"Swinging is swinging, cheating is cheating."

[EvilMJ]

Wetpanties is right....you are not talking about a swinging experience, you are talking about cheating. If you are doing ANYTHING behind your husbands back then you are cheating and it shows very little love and respect for your SO.

What I would suggest is get your mind in the right place and decide what is the most important to you....your husband, or playing with these men...and remember, your marriage depends on it!

[Mrs Spoomonkey]

I really have to Dito what everyone has said here. You need to decide how important your marriage is because what you are doing is cheating even though you haven't gone any further than some "foreplay".

I'll repeat for another time "swinging is swinging - cheating is cheating"

If you read through some of the threads on the board you will find that the marriages here are very solid, together and all have great communication and care for each others feelings. No means no in the lifestyle even between partners. Maybe in the future you two might be ready to move into the lifestyle but for now it sounds like your husband is not interested. I say drop it.

Mrs Spoomonkey

[Spoomonkey]

Dito to Panties, Ves, Evil and my dear Mrs Spoomonkey.

What makes swinging is strong relationships - and even a little boobie-munching in the car is doing a bit more than what might be considered "innocent flirtation."

You'll hear the same thing from swingers that you would hear from any community that is devoted to honesty, trust and strong relationships - don't cheat.

Spoomonkey

[drgnchlde]

Thanks for all of your advice. I appreciate your honesty. I can tell this is a good group of people.

[pleasureprince0]

Ditto..good to see a lot of folks giving right advice

[jcbicouple]

Originally Posted by EvilMJ

Wetpanties is right....you are not talking about a swinging experience, you are talking about cheating. If you are doing ANYTHING behind your husbands back then you are cheating and it shows very little love and respect for your SO.

What I would suggest is get your mind in the right place and decide what is the most important to you....your husband, or playing with these men...and remember, your marriage depends on it!

Dito
Swinging is about trust and making sure your SO and their feelings come before yours or anyone elses. You can't get your husband to consider swinging because you cheat on him and he can't trust you. If you want him to ever consider it you need to build a relationship with him first.
Not to mention that you are also helping two married men cheat on their wives....It sounds like you work with these guys. Hope if you do their wives don't have to attend company events with you. How degrading for them!

[Mike and Jan]

It sounds like this something you really want and maybe need. And, the fact you've tasted a small sample already leads me to believe it's only going to get worse.
You're young and so is your husband. But, I really think it's best for both of you for you to lay it on the line. Work it out now or go your separate ways. There's a lot of young women who'd love to have a man who's against swinging and one hell of a lot of young men who'd die to find a lady who wants it!
Rich

[dave110256]

I'd say you're already cheating by letting someone suck your tits. If my wife were to do this without me first knowing and approving of this, the relationship would be over. Trust is everything and it sounds to me like your husband has no interest in this.

[JKBertha]

Being unfaithful is such a hurtful thing to do to somebody....is it worth it to you to crush your husband's heart? Why do you think he gets so angry so quickly when you bring it up? He's hurting.

I know a good handful of women who are looking for a good man who wants to stand by thier wives and be faithful.....I think you need to treasure what you have or cut him loose to someone more deserving of his affections. Does that sound harsh? Well, I'm not bothered if it does, cause it looks to me like you are flat out looking to cheat, and be able to go home with your tail wagging after that.......and that is being a dog.

Back to your title "Hubby against...what now", I'd say case closed until if or when he changes his mind.

[JustAskJulie]

You aren't swinging and neither are these MARRIED men you are wanting to play with. They are cheating on their wives and you are looking for permission to cheat on your husband.

if you husband isn't ok with it then you do nothing. If you do anything you are cheating.