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CowboyBob

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About CowboyBob

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    M. Male
  • Location
    Colorado
  • Interests
    The outdoors; camping, fishing, etc

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  1. We've done both couples and singles. My wife and I used to have an agreement where if one was alone and had the chance to have some fun, it was okay as long as the other one was told about it ASAP. Haven't indulged that very much recently, and my wife's indulged more often than I have anyway. We've never done it with single males. Both she and I have only been with single females. We've found two or three couples we hook up with on a semi-regular basis but as often as not, we've tried to meet new couples. My wife and I go with the flow. If the people we're with prefer being in a group, we do that. If they'd prefer individual rooms, we do that. If the choice is up to us, we prefer the group thing.
  2. I think the first question to be answered is finding out why your husband's mad. If he's mad because the secret idea got out, or whether he's mad at the whole notion. If he's mad the secret got out, then maybe the door's still open to trying this. If he's just mad at the whole notion, then it sounds like a no go. I'd talk to him and find out for certain why he's mad. then go from there.
  3. Not exactly. What I mean is that for me to consider someone a "swinger" they've got to be in a position to have BOTH a committed sexual relationship (i.e. "making love") AND having casual sex with friends and/or strangers. (With the consent of your significant other--otherwise, that's not swinging either. That's cheating). Sorry to be unclear. That's what I get for posting before my morning coffee.
  4. Maybe it's just me, but I think "swingers" should be considered only as people in a committed relationship. Single guys and single girls who are out on the prowl for uncommitted sex simply strike me as single guys and single girls who are behaving more or less normally. To me, the key element of swinging is the difference between "making love" with someone you're in a relationship with, and "having sex" with any good-looking friend or couple who catches your fancy. The willingness to detach sex from emotional involvement is the difference. So, I'd say, singles aren't really swingers, no matter what the dictionaries say. I'd also say part of the problem is "swinging" is a rotten word to use for what happens when couples hook up with other couples. "Swapping" isn't much better, but it's probably a little more accurate.
  5. Just wondering, here... In my wife's and my experience, we've noticed that most of the women in the lifestyle have at least been curious about having sex with other women, at least as much as, if not more curious about having sex with other men. Of course, the exact opposite holds true for the men in the lifestyle. I've only met one guy who's ever even considered having sex with another man. Without counting, I'd guess that of all the women we've encountered have gotten into swinging, about two thirds have indicated they've done so at least in part to try sex with another woman. So, how about it, Ladies? How many of you have gotten into swinging at least in part because of the urge to have sex with another woman? For my wife, she admits it was mostly curiosity about women. She's mostly into guys, though. Happily, that includes myself.
  6. 1. We talk about sex more. A lot more. 2. Porn. I used to hide it. Now I share it. Sometimes we get it together and talk about it. 3. the sex has always been good. These days we've been more prone to experimenting, including when it's just us. 4. We've noticed the friends we circulate with tend to be fellow swingers more than non-swingers. Even when we don't do anything, the people we have contact with are people we've met in the lifestyle. I think it's a matter of who we feel comfortable with and you've gotta admit when you've been making the beast with two backs with your buddy's wife while he was diddling your own wife, that's a great way to get over uncomfortable feelings. 5. We've been out to a few non-swinging clubs and I find them boring these days. Yeah, there's a lot of dancing and sexually-charged rubbing up against each other, but I keep expecting them to get more graphic. I was watching these two girls dirty-dancing at a straight club a couple months ago, and while most of the crowd was whooping and hollering at the sight, I kept thinking, "come on! Lift up her shirt! Suck her titties! What're you waiting for?" 6. Yes, confidence. Not just in thinking we're attractive to other people, but in SAYING, "You know, X really has the hots for you," or "I'd really like to get Y in bed sometime."
  7. Thanks for the kind words, melissa, and I've been thinking ever since I first posted. I don't think it's possible to accept what you (and the rest of us) are doing as being acceptable pursuant to church doctrines without some sort of rationalization. But here's the thing. I dont think anybody ANYWHERE, swinging or not, can deal with the way they live their lives without rationalizing in some way. Like before, the Bible says, "Thou Shalt Not Kill," but people are doing it in God's name all the time. (Or Allah's name, for example). I've heard some really preposterous things in my time, such as according to the Catholics' religious doctrines, unbaptized babies don't go to heaven. One ignorant muckhead told me that Mother Teresa's burning in hell right now because she wasn't "born again" according to what his church teaches. The whole debate over whether "homosexuality is evil" comes back to what the Bible says. it says men shall not lie with men, but it also rattles off a whole litany of additional sins such as having sex with a woman on her period, stoning adulterous women (but not adulterous men) or working on the Sabbath. Obviously, in this society we don't treat menstruating women as being unclean anymore, so we're clearly picking and choosing which Biblical laws and doctrines we choose to follow. Like it's been said before, we have to get back to choosing for ourselves which doctrines are to be followed and which aren't. If I were to cheat on my wife, I'd be committing a terrible act. Maybe even a sin, if I believed in sin. However, if I do the very same thing with her full consent, I don't see how it should be a sin. I'm rationalizing, I know, but I think everyone, everywhere, rationalizes when it comes right down to it. But that's just me.
  8. Hi, Melissa: As an ex-Catholic, wish I could offer some sage advice or a few quotations from one of the Pope's encyclicals to put your mind at ease, but I can't. Frankly, the reason I'm an EX-Catholic is because I couldn't put up with all that holier-than-thou (pun intended) crap that comes spewing forth out of the mouths of religious leaders, not just from the Catholic church, but from the Swaggerts, the Robertsons, the Falwells, and so on. Now, my wife's pretty religious, not Catholic, but pretty religious. She doesn't have any problem dealing with the church's prohibitions against any kind of fun because she thinks that for every religious doctrine that prohibits something, there's a rationalization around it. The Ten Commandments say, "thou shalt not kill," but all over the Bible there are examples of God's chosen people killing, often with God's okay. Kill all their men, steal their women, turn their children into slaves, that sort of thing. My wife says it's up to every individual to weigh in his or her own mind whether to strictly follow a church's doctrine or to weigh in one's own heart whether that doctrine is appropriate. The Church condemns birth control, (other than the rhythm method) but that seems like a ridiculous thing to believe. To me, anyway. I agree with Naked. I think swinging isn't a sin, because nobody's cheating, nobody's being deceitful, and nobody's being unfaithful. And don't forget, in the Bible, Abraham gave Sarah to the Pharoah, to be his wife! if that's not swinging, (or swapping), what is? Just kidding.
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