I agree. Our foray into the lifestyle was by watching first, getting worked up by watching, then finding out how it took us through the roof to BE watched. The next step was some minor interaction with my Wife and another woman.
We have no interest in full swing.
I think if "Nitro" has concerns about his lady wanting to swing separately, maybe he should reconsider his request.
I would recommend starting slow. You can ease in, and stop when you feel uncomfortable.
You can't undo , or "Un-see" something if you go too far.
Just my rookie point of view......