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Bad Sandy

Registered
  • Content Count

    65
  • Joined

Community Reputation

15 Good

About Bad Sandy

  • Rank
    Active Contributor
  • Birthday 09/30/1972

Personal Info

  • Relationship Status
    Married Female
  • Location
    FL
  • Occupation
    mom
  • Swinging Experience
    6 months

Swinger Info

  • SLS Name
    extrovertintrovert
  • Favorite Club(s)
    Caliente
  1. I love that! lol At hedo we were with friends we had already established we were going to play with that night. After hours at the bar and disco and with midnight approaching I finally said (jokingly), "Are we going to dance all night or what?" That got us back to the room in a hurry. I think usually everyone is waiting for the women to give the "all clear". Sandy
  2. Great profile! I see you've edited it now and it looks great! (so, when are you guys visiting Florida???? ) Sandy
  3. I hope I didn't appear to be telling her to just go for it! She absolutely has to explore her doubts inside and out before deciding anything. I certainly did. It was probably 3 years from the first suggestion of a threesome by my husband until the day I decided to give it a whirl. The first several years I flat out refused to even consider it. Baby steps is at a point I didn't even get to until I was almost ready to try. I suppose that is why it seems to me like she's likely to try it. I may just be projecting my experience onto hers, which you point out, could be wrong. Thanks. Sandy
  4. I find it funny how multiple people can read the same thread and feel completely different about it. Babysteps, I have said it before, and I'll say it again, I WAS YOU! I absolutely had an "awakening" to my desires. For me it began with very frank fantasizing during sex. My husband and I discovered we both found our best friends sexually attractive. Our steamy pillow talk about them began an awakening in me I had NO idea was there. Unlike most, I think you are absolutely going to be swinging at some point. I too have a habit of researching things to death. But mainly because I like to look at all the angles of an issue. I encourage you to keep exploring your issues for as long as you need to. And as an aside, everyone keeps telling you to talk to your spouse about it, but I want you to know that it is ok if you need to work this through a bit on your own too. I didn't want to get my husband's hopes up so I pondered the subject for months without him knowing. He was quite suprised when I said, you know, I think I'd like to try swinging. Everyone does things in their own way, and as long as you maintain respect for each other, it's ok. Sandy
  5. ok, now I read the rest and wanted to comment on some... oh, my, you sound JUST LIKE ME! lol I must have thrown that phrase "It's all about her" out at him 20 times. I couldn't understand that! That seemed ridiculous! The truth is that it wasn't all about me, it was all about US. I spent most of my teens and young adulthood lamenting my figure. I am a pear and longed to have no hips or butt. Suprise, suprise, the number one flattering comments I get in this lifestyle... my hips and butt! lol I now embrace my curves and wouldn't want to lose them. Sure, there are men who prefer a different body shape but it doesn't matter. I love my body for the first time since puberty! This was the hardest thing to get over. But you know, I am FAR more likely to die in a car wreck, yet I haven't stopped driving. I know the dangers of heart disease, and yet I still eat steak. We always use condoms for intercourse. Not for anything else. And as far as the cheating comment goes. I am certain that there have been men who wanted to swing because they just wanted sex with other women. But cheating is NOT about geting to havesex with another woman or man. It is about having an emotional need filled by someone other than your spouse. Cheaters do so because they need to feel loved, respected, powerful, something. I have read over and over that it is not about sex. From what you have said about your beloved, he is not asking this as an alternative to cheating on you. The same is true for most of the rest of us. And finally, Intuition, I am FLATTERED by your comment to me. Your posts have always been incredible insightful and helpful to me on my own journey. Thanks. Sandy
  6. Ok now, I didn't read all the other posts before responding, so I appologize if I repeat what anyone else has said. Well, it's sort of like this, I love lobster. To me it is the most divine food on earth. There is nothing else I eat that tastes quite so delicious. Still, I enjoy eating steak, chicken, pasta, you get the idea. It's sort of a crude example except that sometimes the other foods taste great and you might even enjoy the lobster more because of them. In fact I find I want the lobster even more often and tend to eat it ravenously! Alright, enough food! lol What I'm trying to say is that I connect with my husband in ways that we never did until after swinging. That seems ridiculous to you, I know, I was there. I can just tell you that we do. (And we have always has a fantastic relationship!) We had great sex before, but now it is almost as if things are magnified. It isn't really the sex that does it, I think it's the deep level of trust and intimacy I share with him now. Whenever we play with a great couple it just feels like the most natural thing on earth. Swinging might not be for you, but in hind sight I see that I couldn't have understood it until AFTER I had done it. So unfortunately its a bit of a catch 22. The very best to you! Sandy
  7. I have to say that your post sounds EXACTLY like me about 8 months ago! LOL Now we are happy swingers. I think the fact that you are already sexually adventurous, and are even here in this forum, suggests you might want to give this a try but are worried about your reaction. First, take a deep breath. You don't have to decide today. I had every anxiety you describe and then some. We have been taught to be offended if our significant other notices another woman, but that's perfectly natural. (WE notice too don't we! LOL) We are created to be sexually attracted to each other! Also, I finally realized that there is a big difference between chemistry and love. This took some experience to grasp. I have had playmates where the chemistry was off the charts but it STILL isn't as good as it is with my husband. We know each other inside and out. He is a part of my soul. We connect in a way that makes sex together on an entirely different level than it could ever be with a playmate. I think that alone was the biggest suprise to me. I could have sex with a guy that was completely my type, and be incredibly turned on by it, but it STILL wasn't the same. It was fantastic, just not the same. Figuring out that it is the same way for my husband was an "aha" moment. Playmates are fun, but playing has made us even MORE aware of how special we are to each other. I know that may not make much sense. And others, far more experienced than I, can give their view as well. Take your time and don't rush into anything. When you're ready to give it a whirl wait until you find the right couple. The best to you! Sandy
  8. Thanks for your help Fuse. I'll go fix the spelling! Can't see your profile though. I must be doing something wrong. And Mr. Van, we just got back from our second trip to Hedo II. Man, it is addicting! I know you guys will love it. Are you going during a lifestyles takeover? We have never been on a regular week, but the lifestyles weeks are crazy! Like living in an amature porn flik for a week! Sandy
  9. Gee thanks, Mr. Truelove. The same goes for you guys! LEt us know if you ever get down to Caliente or Paradise Lakes! Sandy
  10. Hi guys, check ours out. I know we aren't certified yet. We need to ask a couple of our "playmates" to do that and also need to do that for them. Thanks in advance for suggestions. Sandy extrovertintrovert at swinglifestyle.com
  11. For the record, we just jumped into full swap with another couple. How to start really depends on what turns her (and you)on. For me it was the idea of switching partners and having sex with our new lovers side by side. So that's what we did. And it started us on a fun adventure. As far as jealousy goes, I was VERY concerned about this. I was afraid I'd want to scratch the other girl's eyes out! LOL To "test the waters" we started dancing with other couples. I watched him dance with, rub on, and generally flirt like crazy with other women and it didn't make me jealous, it turned me on. So we went forward. I haven't had any issues during full swap either. (And neither has hubby.)
  12. Probably obvious. Just like Sandy in the movie, I had an inner "bad girl" just dying to come out! Sure has been fun!
  13. Funny how everyone likes different sites. I guess that is why there are different sites out there!
  14. posted about this before, but if you are struggling to reconcile swinging with christianity please read "Divine Sex" by Philo Thelios. Very eye opening. The Bible is FULL of people having sex with multiple partners with out God so much as batting an eye!
  15. I always have "danny" wear his weathered, low slung jeans and no shirt (to show off his hot bod). Under the jeans I love him to wear his red string thong. The thong peeks out the top in back. He even had a woman "adjust" it for him when it got crooked. Oh, I also love rubbing body glitter on his chest so that the dance lights make him glisten... mmmmm facelick I think it looks silly for all the guys to be dressed in dockers and button down shirts when the ladies are in Slut Wear. I always joke that the guys look ready for a church social! Just my opinion, but in general, dress the way YOUR WOMAN thinks you look hot! Sandy
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