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newandexcited

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    27
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15 Good

About newandexcited

  • Rank
    Contributor

Personal Info

  • Relationship Status
    Couple
  • Location
    Vermont
  • Swinging Experience
    haven't even started yet
  1. I know you directed this question at the wives but I'll drop my opinion here anyhow. So, I'll let ya know I'm in the same boat you are and the best advice I can give is be patient. If your like me you are excited about the idea and that maybe leading you to inadvertently "push her". It doesn't make you a bad guy. People get excited. So what. But consider where she is right now. What you need to do is suggest she reads this board and then decide like I have to drop it. Don't drop it with the attitude that it will never happen oh poor me...just roll with where she is right now and let her be the one to move forward. And I've had to prepare myself that she may never move forward but like you we have had a few very fun nights talking about the prospect of swinging. We've tried new things together that I believe we would never have tried without exploring this board. These are all great things. We're having fun, communicating quite frankly with each other and becoming closer than I thought possible. If for no other reason that makes our investigation of swinging a huge positive. I mean I love my wife and she's who I will grow old with and I believe you feel the same about your wife. So take the positive aspects that have come so far as a blessing. If more comes then outstanding...if not then that's fine too. I believe when you look at it from this direction then you'll see that nothing you've done to investigate the lifestyle was a waste of time. You can't convince her to do it...and I don't believe your really trying to...you just didn't have a better way to ask. So take what all these people have said and mull it over a bit. I think you'll come to the conclusion that your marriage is probably better now than before you brought up swinging and if you really think on that you'll be happy with your journey. Ok..I think I've said the same thing over and over enough so I'll stop babbling now.
  2. So if it isn't a fantasy for either of you then why rush into it? Basic risk assessment here. 1) What you have is great. 2)What your thinking of adding isn't really adding any excitement. 3) By adding it you could destroy what you have. Conclusion: don't add it. just my opinion of course but it seems that you've already answered yourself in your post. You don't seem ready to move on to full swap.
  3. I'm not an expert as me and my wife have yet to actually swing but I see two schools of thought here. On the one hand you should look for and respond to little red flags like this. First, find out if there is something that you are doing that is setting off your woman's jealousy. Are you diggin this possible playmate a bit too much? Talking about her too much or whatever? Also your worry about taking a step too far too fast and possibly ruining any future soft-swap fun is legitimate and should be thought more about. Basically if you feel you must slow down, then do so. Now the counter to the above thoughts. I don't remember who it is on this board but someone has a neat quote by Andretti...that if you feel in complete control your not going fast enough....or something to that effect. Basically that things with great rewards have great risk. So yes you might ruin the future soft-swaps but you might just find that this couple is the perfect one to join full-swap with. So, now that I've sufficently said nothing I'll close with this. Whichever school of thought you choose, make it a reason for you and your GF. Don't worry about disappointing the other couple. Don't worry about a "now or never" mentality cause that's BS. Swinging is for you as a couple and that is where you have to keep your loyalties.
  4. Let's see there was the north shore of Oahu. Then half way through the Army chopper flew very low right overhead. Then there was the time in the church bathroom during a rehearsal.
  5. Sorry to hear. Pay special attention to your young ones now. During a split they need to know that they are still loved by BOTH of you. Good luck.
  6. We haven't even started swinging yet and the topic of swinging has made us better in bed. Because we are talking about sex more now and what we like and don't like...and because the communication has somehow made us a little less inhibited with each other we've had the best sex and most frequent sex of our marriage. We are in absolute heaven right now. I can't hardly imagine what will happen if/when we move to the next step.
  7. your situation brings up a question for me. Since my wife and I have never played with anyone yet and are just starting to discuss this...maybe the question is going to be a bit basic but oh well. Anyhow, you were in a situation were you as a couple and the perspective female were obviously attracted to each other...than the fella shows up. How do you get outta that situation without hurting the guys feelings a bit? I mean y'all were looking forward to each other and the guy wasn't a jerkoff..in fact you said he was quite fun. But to walk outta there without playin is like looking to guy in the face and saying your just too fugly dude. If this was a situation where ya know...y'all met together for the first time then I can see numerous easy outs but it seems in this situation you were planning for a few days for this by waiting specifically for him to show up. Again...maybe a silly question but I'm curious as to the... for lack of a better term, manners, involved I guess.
  8. 1st and only marriage going on 8 years now. A year ago I might not have been so sure but we luckily caught our relationship slipping. We then both independently thought about it and decided that we do love each other and needed to work on the relationship. Since that time things have got progressively better. Only a week ago did I finally confess to her some of my fantasies and hence the reason I'm now on this board gathering info and such. We may never get into the lifestyle but the fact that we've healed our relationship to the point that I felt comfortable really opening up and sharing desires, feelings and such with her is unbelieveable for it's own right. We've never felt as close as we do right now and the sex the last few nights has been outta this world! Anyhow, I rambled a bit past the point of the poll so I'll shut up now
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